Ever lost a bet to a mate? Pals can be brutal when it comes to having you pay the price for failure, and it seems sections of the close-knit FIFA community are no different.
Since the game's earliest incarnation, players of EA Sports' football franchise have been entering into wagers with each other, designing forfeits intended to shame their opponent in the most amusing way they can think of.
So if you're playing FIFA 19 or FIFA 20 regularly with your buddies, Goal has rounded up some of the ridiculous and riotous 'rules' that gamers have laid out for friends.
Contents
FIFA apology rules – goal margins
Lose by five goals
In addition to having to carry out any pre-approved penalties simply for losing, being defeated by a margin of five goals requires that the loser post a Facebook or Instagram status apologising to friends and family for shaming them, describing in great detail the manner of their momentous loss and how they have brought dishonour to the beautiful game.
Lose by six goals
You must refer to your opponent by the title of their choosing (my king/queen, your greatness, etc.) and retrieve them a drink or snack of their choosing upon request.
Lose by seven goals
Create a Facebook group with a title of the winner's choosing - “Why [your name] is terrible at FIFA”, for example – and invite your entire friend list. The group's description must go into detail about the loss and be approved by the victor.
Lose by eight goals
A more personal touch, this one: you must handwrite a letter to the winner's parents, explaining why their offspring is superior to you in every way.
Lose by nine goals
Phone a public service number of your choice (directory enquiries or your favourite take-away place, for example) and proceed to explain and apologise for your embarrassing loss. The phone call must last a minimum of one minute.
If the person on the other line hangs up before one full minute is reached, a new number must be called and the process begins anew until completion.
Lose by 10 goals
Using a custom greeting card website of your choice, you must create a bespoke card for the victor apologising for the shameful manner of your defeat.
Getty ImagesLose by 11 goals
Knock on a neighbour's door and explain to them how you have let down everyone around you.
Lose by 12 goals
Play your next match completely naked with only the game's box as a cover for your modesty. If you can find the box, that is.
Lose by 13 goals
Unlucky 13. Your opponent is granted 13 uninterrupted minutes to do whatever they wish on your Facebook page or Instagram. All alterations and posts must remain for the duration of the evening, though no password changes are allowed.
Lose by 14 goals
Print a custom t-shirt with the words “I lost by 14 goals on FIFA to [winner's name] because I'm rubbish” or similar. The t-shirt must be worn on a night out of the victor's choosing.
Lose by 15 goals
Snap your copy of FIFA in half and upload a picture of it to your Instagram story or Facebook, describing why you don't deserve to have it. You must then spend a full week reflecting on your failure before you have the right to purchase a new copy.
FIFA apology rules – players scenarios
If you score a goal from open play with your goalkeeper your opponent must purchase and wear goalie gloves for your next game.
If you score a hat-trick with Alexis Sanchez your opponent must eat a hot chilli of your choosing.
If you score a hat-trick with Luis Suarez your opponent must ask three different people to bite him/her.
If you score a hat-trick with Erling Haaland your opponent must perform the yoga pose celebration anywhere you choose.
If you score with Aaron Lennon your opponent must shave 'go faster stripes' into their eyebrows.
If you score a hat-trick with Neymar your opponent must dye their hair an outlandish colour or hum/sing the Brazil national anthem in public.
If you score a hat-trick with Paul Pogba your opponent must get a haircut of your choosing.
If you score a hat-trick with Andy Carroll your opponent must visit the nearest sweet shop, find the cheapest chocolate bar available and insist they pay more than four times its worth.
If you score with Adama Traore your opponent must challenge a stranger to a running race and insist on giving them a head start.
If you score a hat-trick with Nicklas Bendtner your opponent must refer to you as 'My Lord' for the duration of the evening.