MLS watchability tiers: From Lionel Messi and James Rodríguez to CF Montreal - who’s worth your weekend watch (and who isn’t)

CF Montreal - Bleak, bleak, bleak for the Canadian side. 

D.C United - Well, D.C. United have certainly invested, which is probably good. At best, though, they go from woeful to not so bad. 

Sporting KC - A reported ownership change will hopefully give a long-starved fan base something to get excited about. 

St. Louis CITY - St. Louis remain one of the best places to watch a game in MLS. But since founding father/cool sporting director Lutz Pfannenstiel left, there haven't been loads to shout about. 

Orlando City - uhhhh so Alex Freeman left. Martin Ojeda re-signed. They got better defensively on the aggregate. Otavio and Tiago are fun and Brazilian, which counts for something. But otherwise, what is there to get jazzed up about? 

Toronto FC - Get back to us if the Josh Sargent deal ever gets done. Even then, so what?

FC Dallas - Petar Musa is a proper footballer, but they still feel a signing away from being compelling to watch. Then again, this team came from behind against Miami in Florida last year, so who actually knows?

LA Galaxy - No Puig, no party - no matter what anyone says. 

Atlanta United - One of the toughest sides to project. They were so disappointing last year, but have so many talented attacking players. If Tata Martino brings the gang together properly, then they will be a joy to watch. 

Colorado Rapids - A new coach in Matt Wells. A full offseason for rising U.S. international Paxten Aaronson to settle in. The issue is, Wells might make them better, but also a little less exciting. When it comes to the playoff hunt, that is no bad thing. 

New England Revolution - It depends on what you get. Is this former U.S. Youth National coach, Marko Mitrovic, promoting a load of kids to complement Carles Gil? Or is it a coach playing it safe to get back into the playoffs? It's hard to have both. 

Portland Timbers - Kristoffer Velde will offer entertainment in quality and anger alone. But where else is the drama coming from here? Portland went 11-11-12 last year, which is a pretty apt summary of what it's like to watch these guys. 

Austin FC - Nico Estevez is a good manager, and has Austin well-organized and tricky to beat. Still, there's not loads of fun here. A fit Brandon Vazquez should help. 

Houston Dynamo - Ben Olsen is a good manager. Houston have a lot of pretty good footballers. The signing of Mateusz Bogusz is fun, and a Hector Herrera return is a good laugh. TBD.

Philadelphia Union - The Union are a bit of an unknown after moving on from a few talents this offseason. Throw in a serious knee injury sustained by Quinn Sullivan, and they are more unpredictable than they should be. BUT what if that Cavan Sullivan kid shows up? Then we might be in business...

Nashville - Sam Surridge is a striker stripped down to the basics of what being a striker is all about. Basically, he really likes kicking the ball into the net. And that's just awesome.

NYCFC - They are a bit of an unknown. Alonso Martinez's knee injury will hurt them for sure, but there seems to be an intent to bring in more attacking talent - and manager Pascal Jansen has proved himself a tidy tactician. 

Real Salt Late - Diego Luna. Tis all.

Seattle Sounders - If you believe in nothing else, believe in Brian Schmetzer, who will always opt to play some good football. Seattle will look different this year, especially without the excellent Obed Vargas in midfield. But Schmetzer has adjusted before, and odds are he will do so again. 

Minnesota United - James Rodriguez. 

San Jose Earthquakes - Stay with me here. Timo Werner will probably make a mockery of this league, but the Quakes also can't really defend. Can we interest you in some chaotic, high scoring soccer?

Chicago Fire - Same as the above, really. Gregg Berhalter's club teams have always been highly watchable, but the Fire had some real defensive frailties. Another year of letting the big boys in attack bed in might help, and the football should be as fluid as ever. 

New York Red Bulls - Ok, then, Michael Bradley, show us what you've got. That's all. 

Charlotte - The good news is that Wilfried Zaha is back. He alone is wonderful to watch, and Charlotte has some real attacking talent around him. The lack of a dominant striker will hurt them, though. If Idan Toklomati starts banging them in, things get interesting. 

Columbus Crew - Wilfried Nancy may have left the manager position, but their penchant for playing fun football should remain. Wessam Abou Ali is an exciting, mobile No. 9 who will give their front line an extra weapon. 

Inter Miami - Does this really need explaining? It's a pleasure to watch Lionel Messi whenever he laces up his boots, and he will quite comfortably score the most goals in MLS this year. A word, too, for the chaos at the other end. Miami may be an elite offensive team, but they get cut through time and time again on the break. Business at the front, party at the back. 

LAFC - The Son-Heung Min and Denis Bouanga duo was loads of fun towards the end of last season, and you'd figure it could be even better with a full preseason. Add in the more expansive football that new head coach Marc Dos Santos has promised, and this will be an immensely fun team to watch. 

Vancouver Whitecaps - The Whitecaps played without fear last year, and were an exciting mix of midfield pressing and attacking intent. And if you don't like vertical and exciting soccer - which would be weird - you can watch Muller float around and score for fun. 

San Diego FC - Adjusting to life without Chucky Lozano will be a bit of an ask for Mikey Varas and Co. But the young manager created a strong culture in the club's first year, and Anders Dreyer is loads of fun. 

FC Cincinnati - Evander kicks the ball hard and doesn't really like to defend. Pretty much all you need to know.