The Euro XI: Arsenal turn on the style, Liverpool get away with one, and Real Madrid take on the referees - despite getting the win

The cool kids call it "plot armor." Basically, it means that a certain character or team in any given story will be able to survive whatever adversity is thrown their way in order to uphold a narrative. They are, in effect, immune to the kind of thing that would derail others.

And the Liverpool plot armor is strong these days. They beat Newcastle late a couple of weeks ago, with a 16-year-old (!) burying the winner in stoppage time thanks to a wonderfully crafted move. Last weekend was perhaps even more fortunate - and absurd. The Reds were, well, a bit rubbish against Burnley - who defended wonderfully for 93 minutes. 

A 0-0 draw seemed a fair result. But then a foolish handball in stoppage time gifted Liverpool a penalty. Mo Salah stepped up and smashed it home. It was absurd and somehow predictable at the same time. The plot armor is immaculate.

It was fun to make fun of Erling Haaland for a while. It's easy to see why. He's a big, plodding goalscoring robot who just kicks the ball into the net really hard. There are nuances to being a professional footballer at the elite level - dribbling, passing, defensive work rate.

Haaland strips all of that nonsense away and kicks the ball hard. It led to some criticizing the striker last season. Such were City's struggles that we forgot he was basically scoring a goal per game.

Well, if there were any doubts about his quality, they are gone. Haaland scored twice and could've had at least two more as Man City battered Man United 3-0 in a frighteningly comprehensive derby win. Turns out the robot is really good at one thing, and that's just fine. 

It was every Arsenal fan's favorite excuse last year, the old "We don't have enough depth to win the league" adage. And sure, that might have been true. But they also finished well off a Liverpool side that were spending the last month of the season in Ibiza after they wrapped up the league.

Depth be damned, they perhaps just weren't good enough? Well, there's an excuse gone, as Arsenal showed they can call on some guys off the bench. With Bukayo Saka, Kai Havertz and Gabriel Martinelli all out, they turned to Nono Madueke, Victor Gyokeres and Ebere Eze against Nottingham Forest. The result? A 3-0 win. 

Complain about depth now.

Brentford really should get relegated every year, but they especially should be relegated this year. Here's a club that operates on pretty much no budget, using players you've never heard of, relying on a mixture of lumbering veterans and unknown gems to stay alive in th emost unforgiving league in the world. It sounds a bit unfair, really.

And after losing manager Thomas Frank, it seemed that they might be heading that way. But there is fight in the Bees yet, something they proved with a glorious last-minute equalizer to earn a draw with Chelsea on Saturday. They will need every single point they can get this season, and that was truly a lovely one. 

For the last time: there is not an agenda against your team. Your FA does not hate you. It is not out to get you. You will be just fine. Someone try telling that to Real Madrid, who had Dean Juijsen sent off in controversial circumstances on Saturday. Los Balncos would go on to winthe game - the "win" part cannot be empahsized enough - 2-1. 

And shortly after full time, they issued a statement saying they will petition FIFA about poor refereeing in the league. Once again, they WONthe game.

So last year, the football world collective decided that Kylian Mbappe made Real Madrid worse. That was a fair assessment back then. Los Blancos didn't need Mbappe, but they signed him anyway. The balance was all wrong. He scored a lot of goals, but Madrid didn't win anything - so who cares?

Well, it is very early in the season, but Mbappe has four goals and an assist. More importantly, though, Madrid have won all four matches. Has the agenda fallen apart?

Barcelona have told us to wait for ages now. Their financial troubles are still pretty dire. They still had trouble registering players before the start of the season. But they have told us that a re-opened Camp Nou would be a panacea of sorts.

They could pay themselves out of their own debts. It would be an interesting theory to test if the thing was actually open. They delayed their return once again this weekend, and beat Valencia 6-0 in front of just 6,000 people. 

There's quite a funny cycle every season now for Atletico Madrid. Diego Simeone will, at some point, endure a tough run as manager. He will fight for his job in the press. The board will say nothing. And then, a new candidate emerges - who is quite clearly nowhere near the caliber required to manage a club of this size.

Enter Fernando Torres, Atleti legend and decent youth coach, who is now, supposedly, in the running to save his currently mid-table former club. Not gonna happen, but wouldn't that be funny. 

Who said Serie A is boring, eh? Juventus-Inter is supposed to be the kind of gritty, unwatchable fixture we all force ourselves to tune into. These things are scientifically designed to finish 0-0, with no one going home happy.

Well, how's 4-3, complete with an unlikely Juventus late comeback and a handful of lovely goals? Not the derby we expected, but certainly a game we needed in an otherwise dour league. 

So, there's this disease called Old Trafford-itis (working title), where really good footballers show up to Manchester United, and suddenly forget how to play the sport. It's a fascinating, even charming, phenomenon. It is also, of course, immensely harsh on the athletes themselves.

Rasmus Hojlund is undergoing the process of proving just how bad it can be, by being really rather good for Napoli. He bagged this weekend for the reigning Serie A champs, and has a couple to his name already. Well done, Rasmus.

Luis Enrique made a bizarre decision this weekend when he elected to watch the first half of PSG's fixture with Lens from the press box. It was a strange sight, seeing the coach high in the stands, looking down over his team. He explained the decision after full time.

"For a long time, I’ve seen rugby coaches analyze games from a very different perspective. I like the possibility of improving things this way. I wanted to watch the first half from the stands, and it’s magnificent. It’s different. I can control everything,” he said. 

Whether it worked or not is up for debate, but PSG got a win. Enrique might just be a genius.