'My god' - Relieved Pep Guardiola makes 'I lose my hair' joke after Man City hold on to beat Fulham in nine-goal thriller

For the first 55 minutes, City were operating in ruthless form. Erling Haaland celebrated his 100th Premier League goal, shattering yet another record after reaching the milestone in just 111 appearances, and his team-mates followed with a flurry of strikes that suggested the contest was settled before the hour mark. Tijjani Reijnders added a second, Phil Foden curled home a stunning third, and Emile Smith Rowe clawed one back for Fulham before halftime. Foden scored again just after the restart, and when Jeremy Doku’s shot looped in via Sander Berge to make it 5-1, the away fans relaxed into their celebrations. This, it seemed, was routine. Another day, another five-goal haul under Guardiola; the 41st time his side had done so in the Premier League. 

But what followed bordered on chaos. Alex Iwobi unleashed a 20-yard curler to reduce the deficit, and suddenly Fulham discovered a fire they had lacked all afternoon. Substitute Samuel Chukwueze, then transformed the closing stages into something close to a fever dream. His first strike rattled City’s composure. His second arrived six minutes later and sent the home crowd into a frenzy, urging their team towards an unlikely equaliser. In the final moments, only a desperate clearance off the line from Josko Gvardiol prevented one of the most improbable comebacks of the season.

Laughing in disbelief, Guardiola opened his press conference with a quip: "Did you enjoy it? Nice, huh?!"

But when a reporter asked whether he had enjoyed it, the City manager threw his hands up. "Me?! My god, I lost my hair! My god!" he exclaimed, half-joking about the ninety minutes he had just endured. 

Guardiola admitted that, during those frantic final minutes, City were simply trying to keep themselves afloat. 

"It's the Premier League, you can't control, it's the Premier League," he said. "I know you're going to ask what happened, and I don't have an answer. It's the emotion, it's the football. Why you do this, why you do that? But I'm sorry to tell you, we made incredible things today, incredible, because I know how difficult that team is.

"We proved it and scored the goals that we score and the quality we have done. Erling had a chance for 6-3 and immediately later, 5-4. And when that happens, it's just a question of survival. Don't tell me how, the players don't know either. At the end we take it."

City are now just two points behind leaders Arsenal, who host Brentford next, yet their sloppiness at the back poses uncomfortable questions for a side chasing a sustained title charge.

"Arsenal are so strong and so solid. So I know what we have to do," added Guardiola. "It will be difficult, but at the same time, the Premier League is so long. And I promise you that I have enough experience to make long, long runs to try to fight to win the Premier League."

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The match produced a catalogue of statistical firsts. It was Fulham’s first top-flight game with nine or more goals since 1968 and their first such home fixture since 1965. For City, it marked the first time since December 1957 that they had won a league match while conceding four goals. It also became the sixth Premier League match involving Guardiola’s City with nine or more goals, a tally bettered only by Manchester United (7).

"Of course I was concerned [Fulham could come back], but this will help us in future games," Guardiola said. "Every game is a new team for some players. You have to make a process to start to correct. There were some really positive things in what we have done - to come here, to score five goals, and the way we played in that first half.

"In the end, it was a question of character, resilience and defence. They did what they had to do."

City will have little time to recover from the mayhem. They return to action on December 6, when they welcome Sunderland to the Etihad, and Guardiola will hope for something considerably calmer than the madness he survived on Tuesday.