To round off this fake ceremony, it's time for our own version of those 'lifetime achievement' awards you see handed out to people or groups who have sacrificed an awful lot for the sake of their careers. This one goes out to the long-suffering fans of Newcastle United and Crystal Palace, who won this year's domestic cups and ended generations of hurt, creating memories to last a lifetime.
That's what football is all about, as best put by Eagles boss Oliver Glasner: "When I talk about winning a trophy, it’s not the biggest achievement. It’s the happiness that we can give to our fans. Fans are never a cloud. When I talk about the fans, I’m always talking about every single one. When I’m talking about the team, I’m talking about everyone, every single one who’s involved.
"When I’m talking about memories, emotions - I get goosebumps when I talk about it because this is what stays forever. Everyone single fan has their own story, whatever it is. Some are sad, some are very positive. But every single one, behind every single fan, stands their own story.
"What is for sure is that every single person was proud to be a Palace fan on Saturday. Every single one enjoyed the journey and then this huge success. For a few hours, minutes, depending on the person, they forget all of the stuff going on in their lives. This is why football is the number one sport in the world. It was a best practice example of how it can be and how it should be."