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Premier League

Top 25 five-a-side football team names

10:20 pm AEST 1/7/19
Five-a-side football
Finding the right name for your team is something that deserves some serious consideration, as you'll be stuck with it for the tournament

So you're taking the plunge and entering a team into the local five-a-side league.

Your squad has paid up, you've got your kits sorted and the WhatsApp group is in operation for those all-important logistical discussions... but you're still not sure what to call yourselves.

A team name should reflect what you are all about, of course, but there is also room for some humour and some tournaments even give out prizes for the best efforts.

To help you decide what your motley crew of wannabe Lionel Messis and Cristiano Ronaldos should be called, Goal brings you 25 of the top five-a-side team names.


25. Pathetico Madrid



24. Sons of Pitches


23. 99 Problems but a pitch ain't one


22. Lahmageddon


21. Tea and Busquets


20. Chewbacca the Net



19. Poortugal


18. Expected Toulouse


17. We Arbeloa Lot of Teams


16. Bayer Neverlosen


15. Farcelona



14. Kroos Control


13. Sporting A Beer Gut


12.  Hat-trick Swayze


11. Real Sociopaths


10. Not-so-Hotspur



9.  Who ate all Depays?


8.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Skrtels


7.  Sub-standard Liege


6.  Unreal Madrid


5. Tekkerslovakia



4. Inter Row Z


3. Balotellitubbies


2. Absolutely Fabregas


1. Murder on Zidane's Floor