‘I know where I want to be’ - Malik Tillman reflects on his recent breakout with Bayer Leverkusen and USMNT World Cup ambitions

In 2024, Tillman sat down with GOAL for what was, by his standards, a pretty candid interview. He opened up about the outside world's perception of him. He would never be the player yelling or screaming on the field, and he knew that, because of that, there was this notion on the outside about how much he cares. People didn't see emotions on him, so he must not have any, right? That was one of Tillman's biggest challenges: proving to the outside world that the feelings inside were strong, even if he didn't outwardly express them.

It didn't help that, until that point, he hadn't quite dazzled with the USMNT. Across his first three years with the national team, he'd yet to score a goal. There was no standout performance or moment to hang his hat on - until this summer. The Gold Cup became that for Tillman. The person who ended the summer at the Gold Cup finale in Houston was a very different person from the one who began it when he arrived stateside just a few weeks prior. 

"Obviously, I've had more confidence," he says. "My time before with the national team, it wasn't the best, if I'm very honest. Obviously, I didn't perform on the level I wanted to perform. I didn't play as much as I wanted to play and, for me, I saw the Gold Cup as a possible changing point for how Americans see me or how they feel about me playing in the team. I think I did enough to give people a reason to have some better opinions about me as a player."

That was crucial for Tillman: changing those perceptions. It wasn't just for the outside world, but for him. Now, several years into his national team career, Tillman feels embraced. He feels like he has a part to play.

This summer, too, was also about connections. Members of the team have repeatedly raved about the culture built throughout the team's eight-game run. Tillman does, too. This was his chance to really get to know everyone around him, from the newest teammates to the man making it all happen, head coach Mauricio Pochettino. Just as crucially, this was also an opportunity for everyone to get to know Tillman and who he is, on and off the field.

"I think I had my best experience with the national team during the Gold Cup," he says. "We had team dinners, things going on in the hotel, and we just spent a lot of time together off the pitch. We saw different cities. You grow these deeper connections. You get to know guys more. Your views on the other players change the longer you're with them.

The Gold Cup, for me, was the changing point. You grow a deeper connection with [Pochettino]. I think he understands me better, and I got to understand him better and know what he's feeling like and what he's thinking about me and the whole team in general. I think it's all about that connection that we have now, and it formed during the Gold Cup."

In the days following the Gold Cup, one of the summer's worst-kept secrets was confirmed. After starring at PSV for two seasons, Tillman was off to Bayer Leverkusen for a new challenge. It was, in some ways, a familiar one as Tillman returned to Germany for another opportunity with the country's elite.

For much of Tillman's childhood, the goal was to star in the Bundesliga. From a young age, the pathway was there. He started at Greuther Furth on the youth level before making the move to Bayern Munich. While with Germany's biggest club, he got a taste of the senior team, even featuring in the Champions League against Barcelona.

At the time, though, Tillman was just too young and too inexperienced for that level. Loan moves to Rangers and PSV (which became permanent) followed, so that Tillman could gain some experience. He dazzled with both, scoring 37 goals over three seasons in Scotland and the Netherlands. Those performances earned interest from Leverkusen, a team that is the most recent to unseat Bayern on the Bundesliga mountaintop - winning the title in 2024. This summer, in the midst of a rebuild, Leverkusen turned to Tillman, making him their marquee addition to replace Liverpool-bound Florian Wirtz.

That came with pressure. There was a big price tag and the expectation of replacing one of the best players in the German game. Tillman, admittedly, felt that pressure a little bit, but it pales in comparison to the pressures he has internally.

"Obviously, I'm a bigger name in football in general now," he says. "I put more pressure on myself. I don't really care what other people outside of the club say. I have my own expectations, and I know people have expectations for me, but for me, it matters more what's happening inside the club."

The transition to Leverkusen has been, largely, easy. Having grown up in Germany, language wasn't a barrier. He had friends familiar with the area, ones he could play padel with to unwind in the moments when he needed to. The club helped him find great housing and, of course, there was no need for an adjustment period. 

The adjustments, then, were on the field - and they were more complicated. The firing of manager Erik ten Hag just weeks into the season disrupted any sense of continuity, and some observers viewed Tillman’s start as slow. That kind of adaptation, though, is natural at a new club, even one that comes with a price tag like his.

"It wasn't that difficult," Tillman says. "Things on the pitch are different, new teammates, a lot of new guys, and obviously, the coach got sacked after two games, which didn't make it easier, but I think everything has started to settle down. I think we've found our connections."

After finding his footing through those connections, its paid off with a strong run of form for the 23-year-old. 

As Tillman himself admits, he’s not very demonstrative with his emotions. So when he recently had his biggest breakthrough yet on the Champions League stage - scoring twice against Villarreal to push his team into the playoffs - his body language on the field was relatively muted. Afterwards, though, it all hit him.

"As a kid, you dream of playing those types of games, dream of playing in the Champions League," he says. "For me as an attacking player, obviously, it's nice to score goals or help the team win those kinds of games. In the moment, I might not feel about it the way I do now. If I look back at the goals now, it's an incredible feeling."

The moments in question came over a three-day stretch to close January. On the 28th, in the final match of the Champions League group phase, Bayer Leverkusen faced a do-or-die clash with already eliminated Villarreal. A win would seal advancement, and Tillman made sure it did. He scored in the 12th and 35th minutes to effectively decide the match, lifting his club into the next phase with a 3-0 victory.

What stood out most was the contrast between the two goals. The first was all effort, as Tillman pressed Villarreal goalkeeper Arnau Tenas into a mistake that ended in the back of the net. The second was all finesse: a low strike from the edge of the penalty area.

"In this situation, he’s very clever," Leverkusen coach Kasper Hjulmand said of Tillman's first goal. "He reads the game very well. Malik’s cleverness and intensity are something he’s been working on.”

Three days later, he was scoring again, netting in a 3-1 win over Eintracht Frankfurt. The goals were vital, not just to Leverkusen, but to Tillman, who knows that he really needs a few more of them.

Statistically, Tillman isn't where he wants to be right now. In 16 Bundesliga appearances encompassing just over 1,200 minutes, he has just four goals. More worryingly, he has yet to provide an assist in league play. The numbers don't always tell the full story, though. Tillman's game is more defined by the eye test at the moment.

Despite the lack of assist numbers, Tillman is still creating plenty of chances. His 21 chances created put him in the 80th percentile when compared to his peers. His pass completion statistics have him in the 90th. He's routinely winning duels, drawing fouls and getting touches in and around the box. The only thing missing has been a little bit of luck.

"Scoring a goal, as an attacking player, that's the biggest part of this for outside people, but it isn't everything," he says. "There are ways that someone scores a goal that isn't about the goal scorer. It takes somebody giving an assist, or building up play, or pressing, too." 

It’s a mindset that shapes how Tillman evaluates his own performances. He pointed to his club's 2-0 win over Manchester City as his best of the season so far. 

"Obviously, scoring is a nice bonus point, I would say. For me, I think it's about how much influence I had on a game, defending and attacking. With attacking, I always want to be as dangerous as possible. 

"I want to be in dangerous areas. I want to create chances. If I get an assist or score a goal, that's nice, but, if not, it isn't everything. I think my best game of the season was against Manchester City, and I didn't have an assist or a goal. That speaks for itself. Defensively, I have to be ready for a fight. If, after a game, I can say that I gave 100 percent, that was a good game. It's about giving everything that I have."

In that sense, the focus hasn't changed, with or without the goals. Even with his recent successes, Tillman isn't changing how he does business. It's the same way he's been doing it all season long, and the same way he'll do it the rest of the way as he looks to earn the biggest honor of his career.

Tillman was nearly there in 2022. After making his USMNT debut earlier that year, he was expected to be right in the mix for that winter's World Cup. It didn't happen. The-then-20-year-old midfielder didn't make the squad. It was heartbreaking, even if it was just the beginning.

"Obviously, I was pissed and not happy about not being there, but as soon as the game started, I became the biggest supporter," he says. "I just wanted them to have a good tournament and show themselves. I wanted them to change people's views on American soccer. I wanted them to be the best they can."

Now, Tillman himself is in a position to do just that. Given his performances with the USMNT in 2025, which included the three Gold Cup goals, two Gold Cup assists, and friendly assists against Turkey and Ecuador, the midfielder is in the mix. There's a very real chance that Tillman could start for the U.S. in June when the World Cup kicks off, and that isn't lost on him. It's all become very, very real.

"I know it's coming," he says, "But all I can do is stay fit and be in the best shape possible. In the end, it's not my decision whether I'm on the roster or not. All I can do is work hard, stay fit, and have as much playing time as possible. I think, if I do this, I'll be on that roster, so, for me, it's just about working hard."

If it does happen, if the World Cup does work out for Tillman, it's safe to say you won't see him cry tears of joy. You won't hear a loud scream or see a passionate fist pump. It'll be calm, cool, and collected, just as it always is. Inside, though, Tillman will feel it again, just as he always does. 

Life has changed a lot for him over the past year, and there are still more changes on the horizon as Tillman chases the best version of himself. He's shown glimpses of that and, in his eyes, changed some of the perceptions of himself. It continues, though, because the chase is the exciting part, even if Tillman himself doesn't show it.