Top 10 Things To Expect From World Cup Draw

Ahead of this Friday’s much-awaited draw for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, Carlo Garganese light-heartedly runs through 10 things to expect before, during and after the draw.
10) FIFA present a video on the big screen showing how each of the 32 teams qualified for South Africa. Upon describing William Gallas’ decisive goal against Ireland, the narrator says: “France skipper Thierry Henry won the match for the hosts when his angled pass amid a goalmouth scramble was met by the head of Gallas.”

9) Suspended Argentina coach Diego Maradona gatecrashes the ceremony and starts blowing a…Vuvuzela. FIFA extend his worldwide ban for another two months for breaking his curfew, but Dieguito still misses no games.

8) The Greek delegation get their dinner early and then defend it for the rest of the night.

7) FIFA dramatically change the rules just two minutes before the draw in order to allow France to be in a group all by themselves. Raymond Domenech announces that it is a "balanced group and we have to be cautious".

"Karim, it's going to be a tough group son."

6) Hosts South Africa are drawn in a group with Slovenia, North Korea and Chile. Brazil and Spain are placed on opposite sides of the draw so they won’t be able to meet each other until the final. Italy are drawn with South Korea in a repeat of 2002, while England's games are scheduled for Madagascar due to crowd trouble fears. Hooligans trash the set of Madagascar 3, and are placed in Central Park Zoo alongside Alex the Lion and Gloria the Hippo.

5) The English press declare their country as World Cup favourites. The Sun prints a picture on their front page of Ben Foster, Glen Johnson and Emile Heskey lifting up the cup.

Foster then dropped the cup

4) Sepp Blatter performs a Swiss stand-up comedy routine, and the crowd laughs nervously out of politeness. Blatter thinks that Nelson Mandela actually likes him.

3) In true Michael Jackson/Michael Jordan style, Pele mixes up Slovenia and Slovakia. He also mistakenly calls co-host Charlize Theron - Evita Peron.

Pele also predicts an all Korean semi final

2) At the end of the ceremony, Thierry Henry is invited to join the Soweto Gospel Choir for renditions of traditional Irish songs Carrickfergus and Danny Boy. Afterwards Michel Platini asks the audience, "Can we have a big hand for Henry?"

1) Special guest David Beckham’s loan move to Milan is cancelled after he sustains severely burnt hands when selecting one of the balls from the first pot.

"Whatever you do David, wear gloves for Pot 1."

What are your views on this topic? What do you expect to take place in Friday's World Cup draw? wants to know your suggestions...

Carlo Garganese,

Who is the Very Best? Just the coolest world music group right now. They talk about their love of football--Henrik Larsson!--in the DEC/JAN issue of Magazine.