The Euro XI: Vinicius Jr sends a message, Lamine Yamal continues his magic, and Pep Guardiola's bogey team strike again

Brennan Johnson has this quite remarkable quality to be immensely effective without being very good. He pulled a disappearing act for 34 minutes of Spurs' fixture against Man City, all loose touches and wrong decisions.

And then, in the 35th, he decided to, well, be good at football. Johnson ghosted in at the far post to score the first of two nicely crafted Spurs goals to beat Man City at the Etihad. Everyone's got their bogey team, and for Pep it's the laughing stock of North London. Puzzling.

Just how we all predicted, right? Seriously, there is not a single person on planet Earth who could have forecast that Jurrien Timber would score twice against Leeds (and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying through their teeth). 

Still, the Dutch leftback/centerback/Cristiano Ronaldo incarnate did it all the same, bagging two of the Gunners' five against Leeds. Sure, the newly promoted Lilywhites are bad, but this bad? Perhaps it's time to just accept what we all knew: Timber is the striker Arsenal have needed all along.

Let's conduct a science experiment. Say you have a talented teenager who, during a stint in a big club's academy, has proved to those watching that he is ready for first team minutes. What happens when you just throw him to the wolves, and watch him steadily become a top talent?

Do you bench him anyway, if only to protect his legs? Or do you have him play every minute, and watch from afar while his hamstrings crumble? Arsenal have experimented with the latter, and, just two weeks into the season, Saka is injured again. Word is, he might not be out for too long, but his legs are in trouble and he's not yet in his mid-20s.

Let's establish something: it would be no fun to see Everton get relegated. They are a historic club, a fundamental part of the fabric of the Premier League. Even if they have struggled in recent years, they still feel like a vital entity here. Manager David Moyes said before the season that he needed 10 news signings. Instead, he got a shiny new stadium and a Jack Grealish (on loan).

It might not be what he signed up for, but it worked wonders against Brighton on Sunday. Grealish was at his maverick, mercurial best - calves bulging, head on a swivel. He set up both goals and looked worth some of the controversy he will undoubtedly cause. If Everton are to kick on this year, it will be based on their ability to win at home, and the willingness of Grealish to make it happen. So far, so good.

Is this the key to everything? Real Madrid perhaps made a bit of a mistake last year by signing Kylian Mbappe and assuming, incorrectly, that he could just slot in alongside Vinicius Jr. Well, Xabi Alonso solved that problem(ish), by benching Vini, starting Mbappe, and then letting the Brazilian sit in his pure vitriol from the bench.

Then, with 30 minutes to go, he unleashed him. A goal and an assist later, Vinicius was gesticulating somewhere, perhaps even to the Madrid dugout. Something up? Maybe. But the 3-0 win is what will live in the memory.

Lamine Yamal is so good that he literally forces own goals. That's what happened Saturday, at least. Barcelona were down, 2-0, at half time against Levante, and not playing particularly well. Cue the comeback.

Pedri scored the first in the 49th minute. Ferran Torres, who is suddenly good at this sport, added a second in the 52nd. And that seemed to be that. But Lamine was there on the right wing, plugging away, again and again. He eventually mind-tricked the winner in, plopping the ball onto the head of Unai Elgezabal, who dutifully nodded home into his own net.

Just how he drew it up.

Seriously, what is the point of having Harry Kane play in the Bundesliga? Yes, there are some good defenders to be found here and there, but Bayern Munich are simply too good for anyone. Their bench, in all likelihood, could push for the title - such is their insistence on robbing everyone else's talent (which no one seems to openly question!)

This is all very good news if you are, say, the England captain looking to get in good form ahead of the World Cup. Kane bagged three, as they battered their closest apparent title contenders 6-0. Guys, let's just find a way to make this fair someday, yeah?

Are we allowed to feel sorry for Erik Ten Hag? Is this how it works? Sure, Xabi Alonso's successor at Bayer Leverkusen was always going to have it rough, but this has been a miserable summer. Leverkusen have lost their best player to Liverpool, one of their other best players, also to Liverpool, and are about to lose another (at least that one is going to Arsenal).

The results aren't great, either, with Leverkusen opening their Bundesliga season by losing to Hoffenheim. It's all very 2023 Man United, which seems appropriate given they are managed by the same coach who made a real mess of that. 

You can all stop refreshing your social media feeds, now. This is it. It's over. It's done. Gio Reyna has escaped the shackles of Borussia Dortmund and signed with... Borussia Monchengladbach. Well, there's the change of scenery he needed.

But is this a good thing? Is it the right one? Monchelgladbach are certainly a new team, but the fit is a little questionable. Is mid-table mediocrity what this guy really needed? Who knows, but at least he got away from the club that cast him into irrelevance.

Milan could have turned a number of ways for their new coach. They could have gone young and interesting, found a weird German tactician who wears long coats and probably has a degree in sports science. They could have gone old and experienced, a veteran of the game who can, for now, spend a couple of seasons getting them back to the brink of European football.

Instead, they went for battle-hardened and reliable, hiring the painfully boring but ultimately effective Max Allergri. Well, the thing about Allegri is that his attritional style can bring about some dismal results. Such was the case Saturday, when Milan lost to newly promoted Cremonese. That marked Milan's first loss to Cremonese at home since October 1925.

It's a long season, but that was an awful start.

Everyone kind of thought Kevin De Bruyne was going to come to MLS. After all, the narrative arc made sense: win everything at one club in Europe, then quit while you're slightly head. Kick a ball in San Diego, Kevin - it's nice here! Well, he decided he didn't fancy that, and instead signed a short-term deal with Napoli.

It raised a few eyebrows, but he began his season in fine form, handed the keys to the kingdom as a No. 10 and getting on the scoresheet to lead the reigning champions to a tricky 2-0 away win. Tougher tests will come, but this was a decent start for a guy who's still got a lot left in the tank.