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Top 10 Alternative Footballer Jobs
Every Tuesday and Friday, Goal.com publishes a new Top 10, today it is the Top 10 Alternative Footballer Occupations...
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Sep 22, 2009 3:30:57 PM
Have you ever watched a game of football and thought to yourself, “That player doesn’t look or act like a footballer”? Well, Goal.com has compiled a Top 10 list of players who really look like someone with a different career…
Please note that the below is satirical, and just a bit of fun...
10) Giorgio Chiellini – Boxer
Chiellini’s nose is so knocked in that there is only one other place for the fearless Juventus lion aside from the football field – the boxing ring.
"Come on Fraud Mayweather - try and dodge me!"
9) Gary Neville – Supergrass
The son of Neville Neville has made a career out of being a footballing rat, colluding with referees behind opponents’ backs. It is only a matter of time until Gary becomes a police informer and gets his best friend locked up.
Gary ratting out on brother Phil in 2005
8) Jens Lehmann – Policeman
The no-nonsense German goalkeeper has repeatedly taken the law into his own hands during his career, and there is nothing that would suit him better than to suit up in a police uniform with a baton strapped to his waist.
7) Maurizio Zamparini – Political Extremist
Serie A is full of volcanic presidents, but none more explosive than Palermo’s chief. Give Zamparini the microphone and you potentially have the perfect political extremist, capable of delivering ferociously outrageous speeches.
6) Olof Mellberg – Explorer
With his chiselled jaw and scraggly beard, the Olympiakos centre back would not look out of place trekking up Mount Everest.
Captain Olof Before The Terra Nova Expedition
5) Wayne Rooney – Full-time Hooligan
With his red skinhead, angry temperament and slight potbelly – Rooney possesses all the right qualifications to be a yobbo.
'Come on then if you think your 'ard enough'
4) Franck Ribery – Bond Villain
Watch out Daniel Craig – Ribery will be cast as the scarfaced bad-guy in Yesterday Always Lives.
3) Yossi Benayoun – Street Beggar
With his skinny frame and streamlined face, Benayoun looks like he is in dire need of a good meal. You can imagine the Liverpool star on the High Street floor in his rags begging for pennies and raiding dustbins.
"Yes, I have made £1.83 today!"
2) Christian Vieri – Pornstar
Having gone through more showgirls than the Silvio Berlusconi era of Italian television, surely the porn industry is the next career move for the long-haired once fab, now fat centre forward.
1) Harry Redknapp – Fruit & Veg Market Seller
Everyone’s favourite dodgy Londoner after Del Boy - ‘R Arry’. “Alwight darling, look at these laaavely bananas – buy one bruised bunch for a monkey, get the second bunch double price.”
"Hey Arsene, come round mine after - I 'av some
second-hand oranges up my 'apples and pears'."
What are your views on this topic? Any other suggestions of your own? Goal.com wants to know what you think…
Carlo Garganese, Goal.com
Please note that the below is satirical, and just a bit of fun...
10) Giorgio Chiellini – Boxer
Chiellini’s nose is so knocked in that there is only one other place for the fearless Juventus lion aside from the football field – the boxing ring.
"Come on Fraud Mayweather - try and dodge me!"
9) Gary Neville – Supergrass
The son of Neville Neville has made a career out of being a footballing rat, colluding with referees behind opponents’ backs. It is only a matter of time until Gary becomes a police informer and gets his best friend locked up.
Gary ratting out on brother Phil in 2005
8) Jens Lehmann – Policeman
The no-nonsense German goalkeeper has repeatedly taken the law into his own hands during his career, and there is nothing that would suit him better than to suit up in a police uniform with a baton strapped to his waist.
7) Maurizio Zamparini – Political Extremist
Serie A is full of volcanic presidents, but none more explosive than Palermo’s chief. Give Zamparini the microphone and you potentially have the perfect political extremist, capable of delivering ferociously outrageous speeches.
6) Olof Mellberg – Explorer
With his chiselled jaw and scraggly beard, the Olympiakos centre back would not look out of place trekking up Mount Everest.
Captain Olof Before The Terra Nova Expedition
5) Wayne Rooney – Full-time Hooligan
With his red skinhead, angry temperament and slight potbelly – Rooney possesses all the right qualifications to be a yobbo.
'Come on then if you think your 'ard enough'
4) Franck Ribery – Bond Villain
Watch out Daniel Craig – Ribery will be cast as the scarfaced bad-guy in Yesterday Always Lives.
3) Yossi Benayoun – Street Beggar
With his skinny frame and streamlined face, Benayoun looks like he is in dire need of a good meal. You can imagine the Liverpool star on the High Street floor in his rags begging for pennies and raiding dustbins.
"Yes, I have made £1.83 today!"
2) Christian Vieri – Pornstar
Having gone through more showgirls than the Silvio Berlusconi era of Italian television, surely the porn industry is the next career move for the long-haired once fab, now fat centre forward.
1) Harry Redknapp – Fruit & Veg Market Seller
Everyone’s favourite dodgy Londoner after Del Boy - ‘R Arry’. “Alwight darling, look at these laaavely bananas – buy one bruised bunch for a monkey, get the second bunch double price.”
"Hey Arsene, come round mine after - I 'av some
second-hand oranges up my 'apples and pears'."
What are your views on this topic? Any other suggestions of your own? Goal.com wants to know what you think…
Carlo Garganese, Goal.com
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| Open an account with Sportingbet today and get up to £100 in free bets! |
|
| Sign up with William Hill for a free bet up to £25 |
|
| Sign up with bet365 for a free bet up to £200 |
|
| Sign up with Paddy Power for a free bet up to £50 |
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