The winger has insisted he would find it hard to watch his Schalke team-mates training from the sidelines after Horst Heldt criticised him for returning to NetherlandsSchalke attacker Ibrahim Afellay has stressed that he is sole focus is on recovering from injury, as he remains in self-imposed exile in Netherlands from the club.
The Dutchman moved to the Veltins Arena from Barcelona in the summer, but has made just a handful of appearances thanks to a thigh injury, much to general manager Horst Heldt's disapproval.
"It's really bizarre how this injury has gotten to me," he told Sports-Promotion.Nl.
"First my ligament injury at Barcelona, then my tendon injury in my upper leg. In the last eighteen months, I have spent more time recovering than playing.
"I know I have to pull through and I will. But there have been moments I doubted everything.
"Of course I want to be with the guys at Schalke. Preferably, I would wish them all the best for every match, and I would be there when they play.
"That's just how I am. If you make a choice with something, you have to stick to it. With that attitude I chose a loan period at Schalke.
"But I'm sure I couldn't put up with being there and watching them in practice, I just can't put up with it.
"For my own benefit, I have to close myself off from the outside world and focus on one thing only: my recovery. That is dominating my life right now.
"How long will it take before I can play again? That's the thought I go to bed with, and wake up with. There's nothing else for me.
"The medical staff at Schalke are being updated about everything, as they should be."