Top 10 Most Unexpected Things That Will Happen During El Clasico

As El Clasico fever intensifies, Goal.com takes a light-hearted look at the top 10 things you would least expect to happen during the fiercest of all footballing showdowns.

10. Joan Laporta and Florentino Perez, in the VIP box, discussing a Lionel Messi transfer

Stranger things have happened, haven’t they? Luis Figo leaving the Camp Nou for the Bernabeu and pig’s flying, for instance. If the two supremos do end up having a lengthy, serious-looking discussion throughout the game, don’t be surprised to see the likes of Marca and AS the next day trying to decode what the conversation was about through a lip-reader.

9. Usain Bolt caught on camera wearing a Barcelona kit; Kobe Bryant a Real Madrid shirt

The fastest man on earth is a self-confessed Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Raul fan, while the LA Lakers NBA star is a huge Barcelona and Lionel Messi fanatic. What are the chances that Bolt and Bryant will swap jerseys and allegiances at half-time? If they do, they shouldn’t have any problems fitting into each other’s sizes.

8. Karim Benzema spending the evening playing FIFA 10 on his Playstation 3

The Frenchman has been known to go very quiet during certain games as he continues to integrate with his new team-mates. And if Barcelona dominate Madrid like they do in their other games, Benz could be in for a very lonely 90 minutes. So could Victor Valdes in the Barca goal. Perhaps the two of them could hook up for a PS3 Clasico of their own. After all, Xavi is looking for someone to avenge his defeat.

7. Andres Iniesta telling Guardiola to “Shove it up your…” during the interval

This is, of course, a reference to Guti’s alleged outburst at Manuel Pellegrini during the Alcorcon debacle. While the Madrid playmaker is well known for his fiery temperament and his hissy fits, Iniesta, on the other hand, is about as mild-mannered and saintly as Clark Kent and Mother Theresa. Well, not really. Like Zidane, who normally cuts a shy figure off the pitch, San Andres has been known to retaliate vindictively at opponents who kick him into lumps. But surely he wouldn’t say something like that to his coach? 

Who, me? Vindictive?

6.  Royston Drenthe, at left-back, completely outplaying Messi

The Dutchman is unlikely to start the game anyway for Madrid, let alone at left-back where he was tormented and shred to pieces by third division opponents the last time he occupied that position. Having him go up against ‘El Mesias’ would be the biggest mismatch since Alcorcon were pitted against Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey. Well, that didn’t turn out to be such a mismatch after all… but you know what I mean.

5. Seydou Keita and Lassana Diarra scoring a hat-trick

It would be quite the irony if Barca and Madrid’s ‘unsung heroes’ were to outshine all the high-profile drawcards such as Kaka, Ronaldo, Messi, Ibrahimovic, Xavi, Xabi, et al., especially after the clash was built up for months and months (ever since the fixture list was released) as the gathering of the megastars. Unexpected heroes are few and far between in El Clasico: Julio Baptista was the most recent and there was Miguel Angel Nadal who scored the winner for the Blaugrana back in a 1995 meeting. Can Seydou and Lass etch their names into footballing folklore?  

4. Cristiano Ronaldo getting a standing ovation from the Camp Nou faithful

It’s no secret that the cules love taking a jab at Madrid’s millionaires. The bigger they are, the louder the catcalls, as was the case with David Beckham, for instance. And Los Blancos’ equivalent of a Beckham in 2009 is Cristiano. There are rumors that the Barca supporters are planning to denounce CR9 for taking on the name ‘Ronaldo’ and the ‘No. 9’ on the back of his shirt. Will the Portuguese make the home fans eat their words and earn a standing ovation? Let’s just say no one thought Ronaldinho would be afforded one either at the Bernabeu.

CR9 practise blowing kisses to the Camp Nou fans

3. Thierry Henry setting up a goal for Gerard Pique with his hand. Twice

The giant Barca defender has become quite the goalscorer, netting yet again in midweek against Inter in the Champions League. ‘Titi’, meanwhile, has become quite the assist-man, setting up Pique’s goal with a nod-on from a corner – legitimately –just a week after that controversial hand-ball assist for William Gallas against Ireland in the WCQ play-off. If the Frenchman does get away with any illegal goals or assists on Sunday evening, any debates about referee’s helping Madrid will be banished forever and ever.

2. Laporta agreeing to sell Messi to Real Madrid at half-time

Kaka’s move to Madrid was a surprise, Samuel Eto’o leaving Barcelona and Ibrahimovic coming to the Camp Nou was unexpected, but Cristiano Ronaldo ditching Manchester United for the Bernabeu was the big shocker. But all of that would pale in comparison to Barca agreeing to sell ‘Little Lionel’ to their arch nemesis, and the player himself agreeing to the switch. Forget a flying pig’s head… the whole of Barcelona will be hurling a horse’s head at him.

Messi does look quite good in white

1. Real Madrid celebrating a 6-2 win at the final whistle

Stranger things have happened indeed! 

KS Leong, Goal.com