Napoli President: English Women Don't Wash

Why should Napoli stars Ezequiel Lavezzi, Marek Hamsik, Walter Gargano and Fabiano Santacroce reject moves to England? According to De Laurentiis, it is because the women in England don't wash themselves in places they really should do!
Napoli have been one of the revelations of the Serie A season and, with just one round to go until the winter break, they currently find themselves in joint-third position, nine points behind leaders Inter, and just three adrift of second-placed Juventus.

The Partenopei have an exciting young team, with Ezequiel Lavezzi (23), Marek Hamsik (21), Walter Gargano (24) and Fabiano Santacroce (22) all tipped to achieve great things in the game.

The quartet have all been reportedly lined up by some giants of the English Premier League, with Chelsea said to be desperate to land both Lavezzi and Hamsik, having had a big-money bid for the latter rejected towards the end of last season.

Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis, having grown frustrated by the constant transfer speculation, has now issued a sensational declaration as to why the four youngsters should reject moves to England.

"We made these players — two years ago nobody knew who they were," roared the movie mogul.

"If they want to go to England then in the end they're going to go, but they need to understand this: the English live badly, eat badly and their women do not wash their genitalia. To them, a bidet is a mystery."

De Laurentiis' comments will not go down too well in England, and it is unlikely Keira Knightley or Dame Helen Mirren will be auditioning to star in his next movie.

--Anthony Sormani,