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Take Wilshere, Modric & Berbatov and mix with Vidic, Bale and Chicharito - building the perfect Premier League player of the season
A look at how the best bits of the top performers this campaign could combine to form the perfect individual player (mysteriously, Bebe did not make the list)
Apr 7, 2011 7:30:00 AM
By Nick Price
What would happen if you took the best abilities from the best players of the Premier League season so far and constructed the ultimate footballer?
Well, it might look a bit disproportionate and it would be a real pain to find different-sized boots to wear, but you would have one mighty good player on your hands, so let's take a look at what wondrous freak could be constructed out of the best performers in the English top flight this season.
Head
Luka Modric
Tottenham
You would not want to play poker against this guy. The Croatian midfielder is as close to a football savant as we've seen in a long time on these shores. He always sees things a step ahead of the game, like he's using some sort of cheat code to find himself in a bubble of space.
The little man at the hub of things for Spurs can grab that extra second or two to pick out a ball and almost always does the right thing in any given situation.
His uncharacteristically poor showing at the Bernabeu - although he was by no means the worst Tottenham player against Real Madrid - merely highlighted just how cool he usually is.
Eyes
Jack Wilshere
Arsenal
The 19-year-old scans the field like Paul Scholes, who is almost twice his age.
It's almost like he sees the run before his team-mate has even made it at times – an absolute gift in a player so young.
Gunners fans might want to shine a laser into his face or chip in for a few hefty books for the midfielder to read, because if he keeps up his 20:20 vision for much longer he may well spot the dust gathering in the trophy cabinet and eye up a move to a team that can win things.
Nose
Dimitar Berbatov
Manchester United
A year ago and there was talk that the Bulgarian, who looks more like a debonair chap who'd rather not get his boots dirty than an instinctive poacher, was going to be shown the exit door at Old Trafford after an indifferent spell with the club.
There's still talk of that now but these days the rumors cause United fans anxiety rather than relief, such has been the goalscoring exploits of the former Tottenham man this season.
A hat-trick against Liverpool (including a stunning overhead kick), and five strikes against Blackburn have boosted his numbers somewhat, but the forward has shown a mean streak in front of goal throughout this season that makes his place at the top of the goalscoring charts totally unsurprising.
Mouth
Scott Parker
West Ham
Not many players have been as inspirational as the Hammers man this season. The midfielder has belatedly earned himself a spot in the England team following a heroic campaign for his club, which he has at times performed near superhuman feats for, single-handedly dragging them into games.
And it's been his Churchillian speeches, as well as his Clark Kent-like change into Superman when he leaves the tunnel, that have given hope to his team in recent months.
In the dressing room after a torrid 45 minutes at the Hawthorns in which West Brom had walked to a three-goal lead, the 30-year-old was so inspiring that he had his team-mates, according to striker Carlton Cole, in tears of pride as he urged them to fight back, which the Londoners did with three strikes in the second period. Powerful stuff.
Heart
Nemanja Vidic
Manchester United
The Serbian, named skipper at Old Trafford with Rio Ferdinand becoming increasingly more brittle as he approaches the final years of his career, has epitomized United's never-say-die attitude this season.
Sir Alex Ferguson's side sit atop the Premier League by a clear seven points but have hardly been the most exciting or convincing of leaders.
A large dollop of grit, combined with the odd moment of genius, that has seen the 18-times league winners bruise to the top this year, and nobody has shown more guts than the uncompromising center-back, who seems willing to use any part of his body as a means to block the ball or an opponent from arrowing towards goal. And judging by his wonky face, he's already taking a few poundings to the head in the noble pursuit of a clean sheet.
Hands
Edwin van der Sar
Manchester United
Retiring in the summer, the Old Trafford faithful should be incredibly grateful for the veteran Dutchman's exploits this season and he deserves a generous whip round from the Stretford End when he makes his last home appearance.
Of course his cause has been helped by having formidable players in front of him, but the 39-year-old has nonetheless been outstanding, with United having the fourth best defensive record in the league despite Rio Ferdinand being out for much of the campaign, and conceding just twice in the Champions League.
Getting a replacement of equal ability could well break the bank this summer, presuming that the lovable Glazer family allow Sir Alex Ferguson to go nuts with the checkbook.
Lungs
Gareth Bale
Tottenham
You wouldn't want his legs or his back, in the state they're in, if you were putting together the best body parts for an ultimate footballer. But you'd take Gareth Bale's lungs.
The Welshman has managed to improve upon last year's breakthrough season with a campaign littered with star performances, not least his heroics against Inter in the group stages of the Champions League.
From corner flag to corner flag the 21-year-old has the left flank covered, running at pace with the ball and like lightning without it, and were it not for his injury problems he'd surely have far more goals and assists this term.
Legs
Javier Hernandez
Manchester United
Part of the reason why the Mexican has adapted to life in English football so well is his astonishing turn of pace. He showed flashes of it at the World Cup, where a burst of speed stood out in the often ponderous tempo of some games, but his consistent coverage of ground must give Premier League defenders nightmares.
He's like a hyperactive child or a man with a small bladder who's downed a pint – he just can't stand still.
The 22-year-old springs offside traps with the ease and the cunning of a heist specialist, and uses his turbo-engined legs to get in behind and one-on-one.
Left foot
Charlie Adam
Blackpool
Twelve months ago and the Scot would have laughed himself silly if he was told that he would soon be considered one of the best players in the Premier League, while many of us would have been dumbfounded as to who the hell the portly midfielder even was.
Some pinpoint passes, stunning goals and wicked deliveries – Sir Alex Ferguson said his corners alone are worth £10 million, so that must put his raking cross-field picks at about £20m – have marked him out as one of the most bankable players in the league, and he's almost guaranteed to be bending balls all over the place for a bigger club (or Aston Villa) come the start of next season.
Right foot
Nani
Manchester United
Few players in the top flight have feet quicker than the Portuguese winger, who has proven to be an invaluable player for the league leaders, notching up 16 assists and nine goals this season.
Capable of playing on the left or the right, the 24-year-old is guaranteed to bamboozle whichever poor full-back he comes up against given his ability to go inside, outside and through his opponents with a myriad of tricks, and it all stems from that golden right foot.
For more on Americans abroad, visit Goal.com's dedicated page and join Goal.com's
page.
Well, it might look a bit disproportionate and it would be a real pain to find different-sized boots to wear, but you would have one mighty good player on your hands, so let's take a look at what wondrous freak could be constructed out of the best performers in the English top flight this season.
Head Luka Modric
Tottenham
You would not want to play poker against this guy. The Croatian midfielder is as close to a football savant as we've seen in a long time on these shores. He always sees things a step ahead of the game, like he's using some sort of cheat code to find himself in a bubble of space.
The little man at the hub of things for Spurs can grab that extra second or two to pick out a ball and almost always does the right thing in any given situation.His uncharacteristically poor showing at the Bernabeu - although he was by no means the worst Tottenham player against Real Madrid - merely highlighted just how cool he usually is.
Eyes Jack Wilshere
Arsenal
The 19-year-old scans the field like Paul Scholes, who is almost twice his age.
It's almost like he sees the run before his team-mate has even made it at times – an absolute gift in a player so young.Gunners fans might want to shine a laser into his face or chip in for a few hefty books for the midfielder to read, because if he keeps up his 20:20 vision for much longer he may well spot the dust gathering in the trophy cabinet and eye up a move to a team that can win things.
Nose Dimitar Berbatov
Manchester United
A year ago and there was talk that the Bulgarian, who looks more like a debonair chap who'd rather not get his boots dirty than an instinctive poacher, was going to be shown the exit door at Old Trafford after an indifferent spell with the club.
There's still talk of that now but these days the rumors cause United fans anxiety rather than relief, such has been the goalscoring exploits of the former Tottenham man this season. A hat-trick against Liverpool (including a stunning overhead kick), and five strikes against Blackburn have boosted his numbers somewhat, but the forward has shown a mean streak in front of goal throughout this season that makes his place at the top of the goalscoring charts totally unsurprising.
Mouth Scott Parker
West Ham
Not many players have been as inspirational as the Hammers man this season. The midfielder has belatedly earned himself a spot in the England team following a heroic campaign for his club, which he has at times performed near superhuman feats for, single-handedly dragging them into games.
And it's been his Churchillian speeches, as well as his Clark Kent-like change into Superman when he leaves the tunnel, that have given hope to his team in recent months. In the dressing room after a torrid 45 minutes at the Hawthorns in which West Brom had walked to a three-goal lead, the 30-year-old was so inspiring that he had his team-mates, according to striker Carlton Cole, in tears of pride as he urged them to fight back, which the Londoners did with three strikes in the second period. Powerful stuff.
Heart Nemanja Vidic
Manchester United
The Serbian, named skipper at Old Trafford with Rio Ferdinand becoming increasingly more brittle as he approaches the final years of his career, has epitomized United's never-say-die attitude this season.
Sir Alex Ferguson's side sit atop the Premier League by a clear seven points but have hardly been the most exciting or convincing of leaders.
A large dollop of grit, combined with the odd moment of genius, that has seen the 18-times league winners bruise to the top this year, and nobody has shown more guts than the uncompromising center-back, who seems willing to use any part of his body as a means to block the ball or an opponent from arrowing towards goal. And judging by his wonky face, he's already taking a few poundings to the head in the noble pursuit of a clean sheet.Hands Edwin van der Sar
Manchester United
Retiring in the summer, the Old Trafford faithful should be incredibly grateful for the veteran Dutchman's exploits this season and he deserves a generous whip round from the Stretford End when he makes his last home appearance.
Of course his cause has been helped by having formidable players in front of him, but the 39-year-old has nonetheless been outstanding, with United having the fourth best defensive record in the league despite Rio Ferdinand being out for much of the campaign, and conceding just twice in the Champions League.Getting a replacement of equal ability could well break the bank this summer, presuming that the lovable Glazer family allow Sir Alex Ferguson to go nuts with the checkbook.
LungsGareth Bale
Tottenham
You wouldn't want his legs or his back, in the state they're in, if you were putting together the best body parts for an ultimate footballer. But you'd take Gareth Bale's lungs.
The Welshman has managed to improve upon last year's breakthrough season with a campaign littered with star performances, not least his heroics against Inter in the group stages of the Champions League.From corner flag to corner flag the 21-year-old has the left flank covered, running at pace with the ball and like lightning without it, and were it not for his injury problems he'd surely have far more goals and assists this term.
Legs Javier Hernandez
Manchester United
Part of the reason why the Mexican has adapted to life in English football so well is his astonishing turn of pace. He showed flashes of it at the World Cup, where a burst of speed stood out in the often ponderous tempo of some games, but his consistent coverage of ground must give Premier League defenders nightmares.
He's like a hyperactive child or a man with a small bladder who's downed a pint – he just can't stand still.The 22-year-old springs offside traps with the ease and the cunning of a heist specialist, and uses his turbo-engined legs to get in behind and one-on-one.
Left foot Charlie Adam
Blackpool
Twelve months ago and the Scot would have laughed himself silly if he was told that he would soon be considered one of the best players in the Premier League, while many of us would have been dumbfounded as to who the hell the portly midfielder even was.
Some pinpoint passes, stunning goals and wicked deliveries – Sir Alex Ferguson said his corners alone are worth £10 million, so that must put his raking cross-field picks at about £20m – have marked him out as one of the most bankable players in the league, and he's almost guaranteed to be bending balls all over the place for a bigger club (or Aston Villa) come the start of next season.Right foot Nani
Manchester United
Few players in the top flight have feet quicker than the Portuguese winger, who has proven to be an invaluable player for the league leaders, notching up 16 assists and nine goals this season.
Capable of playing on the left or the right, the 24-year-old is guaranteed to bamboozle whichever poor full-back he comes up against given his ability to go inside, outside and through his opponents with a myriad of tricks, and it all stems from that golden right foot.For more on Americans abroad, visit Goal.com's dedicated page and join Goal.com's
page.
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