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Fish & Chip Shots: Potty-mouthed Wayne Rooney the latest hero for Manchester United
The Red Devils take another vital step towards Premier League glory thanks to their favorite explosive son, Wayne Rooney.
Apr 5, 2011 1:54:00 PM
By Shane Evans
That massive thud you heard was the sound of Manchester’s collective red side stepping ever closer to the English Premier League crown. That other thud you heard was a large portion of London falling on their cockney-spewing faces.
Yes, things are getting out of hand for the Red Devils’ competition as the 18-time first division champions pulled out another dramatic three points to pull themselves just that little bit closer to number 19.
And while they thrived in a must-win situation, coming back from two goals down, others were foiled. Arsenal, their nearest rivals in terms of points in the table (though not in actual chance of winning the title) were stopped at home by a pesky Blackburn side that held the match scoreless.
Chelsea, who were still clambering to reenter the race for the trophy they currently hold, were also dealt a blow by a lesser squad in Stoke, though this match was much more entertaining and close than it should have been.
I understand that there will always be those naysayers out there who think United will falter in the season’s final matches. There will also be those who are unwaveringly optimistic about their team’s chances of stealing the trophy from Sir Alex’s cold grasp. Unlike the thuds mentioned earlier, both parties have to be pretty quiet right now.
In preparation for writing this, I tried with all my might to think of ways, situations, apocalypse scenarios that wouldn’t result in United winning the title. I couldn’t come up with anything. They have Fulham at home this weekend. With every win they pick up or even every point they earn, it becomes more difficult for the other teams around them. Even with a game in hand, Arsenal have shown that they are a shadow of themselves and aren’t built to compete in the run in.
Keeping things fair though, no one is officially ruled out and that’s the stand I’m taking. Well, in the top teams, that is. For now, until a champion is crowned, I’ll keep my focus to events that have passed. We shall begin with the aforementioned thriller at Upton Park that led to conclude the title race is over. Again. Ok, for seriously this time…
Earlier in the year, Dimitar Berbatov has been the hero. Then it was Javier Hernandez. Now Wayne Rooney has stepped up again and made the spotlight his…for both good and bad reasons.
Rooney's hattrick against West Ham was certainly a memorable one and Chicharito’s finisher put the Hammers away but it has to come down to the will of the team to stay in the match. It take a lot of determination and hard work to force yourself back into a match the way they did, especially against a much-improved side like West Ham.
Winning the matches you are supposed to win - that is what it’s all about. You’re always going to struggle against the top side, it’s just how it is, but if you can collect all the points you can against the teams below you in the standings, you’ll be in good shape. Earlier in the year, the Red Devils struggled with draws on the road (which were at least points) but now they seemed to have moved past that and are in their typical new year cruise.
I think we’ll switch gears here for a few inches because talking about the title race week after week gets really boring. And frankly, it’s the least fun part of the table. Looking south, you will all see that there are seven teams at the wrong end of things separated by only three points. Only three points. Wow.
All but Birmingham have only seven matches left. The Blues have eight. It’s going to make for quite a finish. I think if United keep winning, I’m just going to completely ignore the top of the table and focus on the fracas at the bottom.
I say this every year, but I’d love for West Ham to stay up as their support and the club itself represent the lifeblood of English football and they belong in the top flight. Outside of that, I don’t really have a vested interest in any of the other teams.
It is interesting to note that all three of the major Birmingham clubs could be sent down and Blackpool could stay up. Would be pretty intense if that were the case. What really gets me is the parity of the teams in this portion of the standings. All are playing strong spirited football but without the results. A far cry from the years when 35 points would be enough to keep you safe. Forty-five seems like a more realistic number these days. What does that tell you about the league? Seriously, I’d like to know what you think…
A quick note before I start the Onions, I’ve got a bunch of emails to respond to and I promise I’m going to get to all of them. In the meantime, keep on sending them my way! (shane.evans@goal.com or on the Twitters @shanEvans)
Pickled Onions
In the first match of the weekend, I suggested that Chelsea might be able to thwart Stoke at the Britannia. Quite the contrary as the Blues were very lucky to escape the Potters home turf with a point. Petr Cech was brilliant in keeping the Blues in the match and is officially back on top of his game. Great match.
After that, I had City topping up Sunderland. They did...by a ways. 5-0 it ended and Roberto Mancini should be very proud of the effort. In fact, you have to wonder if they played even a little bit like that this season, they’d be right up their with their even noisier neighbs.
Finally, I thought David Moyes and the boys of Everton could continue Aston Villa’s woes. They only managed a point from the fixture, one that both sides deserved.
Overall: 26-20-2
At least I didn’t suffer a loss this week. Yup, that’ll help me sleep at night.
Mushy Peas
The only thing on my mind right now is the Champions League quarterfinals between Manchester United and Chelsea. I’ve got nothing else going on upstairs. Just want to see this one go down in the worst way.
As the Goal.com USA editors and myself discussed in yesterday’s Roundtable, there is the feeling that the priorities for these two particular teams are different. It is totally evident that Manchester want nothing more than to lift their 19th crown and head into a bit of a transition phase with some squad recycling. Chelsea want to do the same thing, but they desperately crave Champions League glory over domestic bliss.
That doesn’t mean that the Red Devs are going to roll over and let Chelsea snatch this away from them, particularly at such a late stage in the game. It does mean, though, that Mr. Carlo’s men will be slightly more ‘go get ‘em, tiger’ than their opposition, especially when you consider that they are out of all things EPL.
Regardless of the final outcome over both legs, I think it could be one of the best ties in years. Years, I tell ya.
The Fixins’
The ‘You Best Behave Yourself’ Award of the Week
Wayne Rooney, Manchester United: Tisk tisk tisk, Mr. Rooney. Is that any kind of example to make for your young oddly-named child, Kai? No, I don’t believe it is. If you didn’t watch it live or have been under a rock for the last week, Wazzapants scored the final goal of his hattrick to give United a 3-2 lead from the PK spot. He then proceeded to stomp his feet over to the cameraman behind the goal and with little hesitation, spewed a number of unspeakables into the lens for the millions watching worldwide. Quaint, sir, quaint indeed. I thought those days were over? Let’s leave that kind of thing to Andy Carroll…
Tweet of the Week: @rifdawg
“@shanEvans I'd be inclined to say Ferguson because I like man utd...but probably Ian Holloway...he'd be hilarious!”
I asked which Prem boss you’d want to have a beer with. I completely 100% agree. Holloway, despite my history with him, is one of the pub chat.
Player of the Week: Wayne Rooney, Manchester United
I was tempted to pick Petr Cech here because he really kept Chelsea in their game against Stoke, but Rooney was the man of the moment scoring three lovely goals to extend United’s lead at the top. Funny how polarizing he can be sometimes. You’re paid to score goals. He did. Now shut up.
Rotten Egg of the Week: Arsenal
Well, it was a good year, boyos. No silverware though. Yes, Arsenal again stumbled against a team in the bottom half of the table. 68% of the possession was enough. Either were the 22 shots they took. Or playing 14 minutes plus stoppages up a man. Just not enough for the Gunners to score a goal which would have given them three VITAL points. Maybe next season week.
Gaffe of the Week: Manchester United & West Ham defenses
Just an ugly ugly showing from both sides. Carlton Cole made Nemanja Vidic look like his feet were cemented to the floor on the one penalty. Matthew Upson clearly handled the ball on Rooney’s PK, as did Patrice Evra. Just sloppiness. You’d maybe expect it from the Hammers but Vidic and Evra are world class players and shouldn’t be making those kinds of mistakes...not now.
Goal of the Week: Asamoah Gyan, Ghana
Not an EPL goal, but he plays in the league and it was against England at Wembley. I get a pass. Also, it was brilliant. Made the always-sturdy and never-full-of-holes-or-poor-marking English backline look silly. Was a lovely finish, too. Would like to see more of that, please.
Game of the Week: Stoke 1-1 Chelsea
Maybe the Potters would give Barcelona a run for their money after all...
Shane Evans is Deputy Editor of Goal.com. His feature, "Fish & Chip Shots" appears weekly. Contact Shane at shane.evans@goal.com with questions, comments and concerns, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/shanEvans or join the TFE/FCS Facebook fan page!
For more news on England, visit Goal.com's England section!
Yes, things are getting out of hand for the Red Devils’ competition as the 18-time first division champions pulled out another dramatic three points to pull themselves just that little bit closer to number 19.
And while they thrived in a must-win situation, coming back from two goals down, others were foiled. Arsenal, their nearest rivals in terms of points in the table (though not in actual chance of winning the title) were stopped at home by a pesky Blackburn side that held the match scoreless.
Chelsea, who were still clambering to reenter the race for the trophy they currently hold, were also dealt a blow by a lesser squad in Stoke, though this match was much more entertaining and close than it should have been.
I understand that there will always be those naysayers out there who think United will falter in the season’s final matches. There will also be those who are unwaveringly optimistic about their team’s chances of stealing the trophy from Sir Alex’s cold grasp. Unlike the thuds mentioned earlier, both parties have to be pretty quiet right now.
In preparation for writing this, I tried with all my might to think of ways, situations, apocalypse scenarios that wouldn’t result in United winning the title. I couldn’t come up with anything. They have Fulham at home this weekend. With every win they pick up or even every point they earn, it becomes more difficult for the other teams around them. Even with a game in hand, Arsenal have shown that they are a shadow of themselves and aren’t built to compete in the run in.
Keeping things fair though, no one is officially ruled out and that’s the stand I’m taking. Well, in the top teams, that is. For now, until a champion is crowned, I’ll keep my focus to events that have passed. We shall begin with the aforementioned thriller at Upton Park that led to conclude the title race is over. Again. Ok, for seriously this time…
Earlier in the year, Dimitar Berbatov has been the hero. Then it was Javier Hernandez. Now Wayne Rooney has stepped up again and made the spotlight his…for both good and bad reasons.
Rooney's hattrick against West Ham was certainly a memorable one and Chicharito’s finisher put the Hammers away but it has to come down to the will of the team to stay in the match. It take a lot of determination and hard work to force yourself back into a match the way they did, especially against a much-improved side like West Ham.
Winning the matches you are supposed to win - that is what it’s all about. You’re always going to struggle against the top side, it’s just how it is, but if you can collect all the points you can against the teams below you in the standings, you’ll be in good shape. Earlier in the year, the Red Devils struggled with draws on the road (which were at least points) but now they seemed to have moved past that and are in their typical new year cruise.
I think we’ll switch gears here for a few inches because talking about the title race week after week gets really boring. And frankly, it’s the least fun part of the table. Looking south, you will all see that there are seven teams at the wrong end of things separated by only three points. Only three points. Wow.
All but Birmingham have only seven matches left. The Blues have eight. It’s going to make for quite a finish. I think if United keep winning, I’m just going to completely ignore the top of the table and focus on the fracas at the bottom.
I say this every year, but I’d love for West Ham to stay up as their support and the club itself represent the lifeblood of English football and they belong in the top flight. Outside of that, I don’t really have a vested interest in any of the other teams.
It is interesting to note that all three of the major Birmingham clubs could be sent down and Blackpool could stay up. Would be pretty intense if that were the case. What really gets me is the parity of the teams in this portion of the standings. All are playing strong spirited football but without the results. A far cry from the years when 35 points would be enough to keep you safe. Forty-five seems like a more realistic number these days. What does that tell you about the league? Seriously, I’d like to know what you think…
A quick note before I start the Onions, I’ve got a bunch of emails to respond to and I promise I’m going to get to all of them. In the meantime, keep on sending them my way! (shane.evans@goal.com or on the Twitters @shanEvans)
Pickled Onions
In the first match of the weekend, I suggested that Chelsea might be able to thwart Stoke at the Britannia. Quite the contrary as the Blues were very lucky to escape the Potters home turf with a point. Petr Cech was brilliant in keeping the Blues in the match and is officially back on top of his game. Great match.
After that, I had City topping up Sunderland. They did...by a ways. 5-0 it ended and Roberto Mancini should be very proud of the effort. In fact, you have to wonder if they played even a little bit like that this season, they’d be right up their with their even noisier neighbs.
Finally, I thought David Moyes and the boys of Everton could continue Aston Villa’s woes. They only managed a point from the fixture, one that both sides deserved.
Overall: 26-20-2
At least I didn’t suffer a loss this week. Yup, that’ll help me sleep at night.
Mushy Peas
The only thing on my mind right now is the Champions League quarterfinals between Manchester United and Chelsea. I’ve got nothing else going on upstairs. Just want to see this one go down in the worst way.
As the Goal.com USA editors and myself discussed in yesterday’s Roundtable, there is the feeling that the priorities for these two particular teams are different. It is totally evident that Manchester want nothing more than to lift their 19th crown and head into a bit of a transition phase with some squad recycling. Chelsea want to do the same thing, but they desperately crave Champions League glory over domestic bliss.
That doesn’t mean that the Red Devs are going to roll over and let Chelsea snatch this away from them, particularly at such a late stage in the game. It does mean, though, that Mr. Carlo’s men will be slightly more ‘go get ‘em, tiger’ than their opposition, especially when you consider that they are out of all things EPL.
Regardless of the final outcome over both legs, I think it could be one of the best ties in years. Years, I tell ya.
The Fixins’
The ‘You Best Behave Yourself’ Award of the Week
Wayne Rooney, Manchester United: Tisk tisk tisk, Mr. Rooney. Is that any kind of example to make for your young oddly-named child, Kai? No, I don’t believe it is. If you didn’t watch it live or have been under a rock for the last week, Wazzapants scored the final goal of his hattrick to give United a 3-2 lead from the PK spot. He then proceeded to stomp his feet over to the cameraman behind the goal and with little hesitation, spewed a number of unspeakables into the lens for the millions watching worldwide. Quaint, sir, quaint indeed. I thought those days were over? Let’s leave that kind of thing to Andy Carroll…
Tweet of the Week: @rifdawg
“@shanEvans I'd be inclined to say Ferguson because I like man utd...but probably Ian Holloway...he'd be hilarious!”
I asked which Prem boss you’d want to have a beer with. I completely 100% agree. Holloway, despite my history with him, is one of the pub chat.
Player of the Week: Wayne Rooney, Manchester United
I was tempted to pick Petr Cech here because he really kept Chelsea in their game against Stoke, but Rooney was the man of the moment scoring three lovely goals to extend United’s lead at the top. Funny how polarizing he can be sometimes. You’re paid to score goals. He did. Now shut up.
Rotten Egg of the Week: Arsenal
Well, it was a good year, boyos. No silverware though. Yes, Arsenal again stumbled against a team in the bottom half of the table. 68% of the possession was enough. Either were the 22 shots they took. Or playing 14 minutes plus stoppages up a man. Just not enough for the Gunners to score a goal which would have given them three VITAL points. Maybe next season week.
Gaffe of the Week: Manchester United & West Ham defenses
Just an ugly ugly showing from both sides. Carlton Cole made Nemanja Vidic look like his feet were cemented to the floor on the one penalty. Matthew Upson clearly handled the ball on Rooney’s PK, as did Patrice Evra. Just sloppiness. You’d maybe expect it from the Hammers but Vidic and Evra are world class players and shouldn’t be making those kinds of mistakes...not now.
Goal of the Week: Asamoah Gyan, Ghana
Not an EPL goal, but he plays in the league and it was against England at Wembley. I get a pass. Also, it was brilliant. Made the always-sturdy and never-full-of-holes-or-poor-marking English backline look silly. Was a lovely finish, too. Would like to see more of that, please.
Game of the Week: Stoke 1-1 Chelsea
Maybe the Potters would give Barcelona a run for their money after all...
Shane Evans is Deputy Editor of Goal.com. His feature, "Fish & Chip Shots" appears weekly. Contact Shane at shane.evans@goal.com with questions, comments and concerns, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/shanEvans or join the TFE/FCS Facebook fan page!
For more news on England, visit Goal.com's England section!
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