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Fish & Chip Shots: Last Gasp Manchester United All But Seal 19th English Premier League Title
Turn out the lights, the party’s over.
Mar 22, 2011 2:58:00 PM
By Shane Evans
Getty Images
With one awkward yet weirdly elegant poke of the leg, could Dimitar Berbatov have sealed the English Premier League title in Manchester United’s favor?
It certainly seems like it.
The silky smooth Bulgarian affectively put United up five points with eight matches remaining and with a floundering Arsenal side on their heels, it’s doubtful that the Gunners (or anyone else) will catch them. I have spoken.
Looking at the run to the end of the season, the Red Devs have West Ham, Fulham, Newcastle, Everton, Arsenal, Chelsea, Blackburn and Blackpool left. Even if they lose both matches against their feisty London competition (no not Fulham and West Ham), they’ll still be in very good shape to take home the trophy.
If they win those two fixtures, well, the champion could be crowned with a fortnight remaining in the season.
Arsenal, a team that have resorted to signing a 41-year-old goalkeeper and have been dropped from three competitions in the last month, do have a game in hand, which is all well and good. The teams they have to play however are just as challenging and if not more so. Bouts against Liverpool, Tottenham, Bolton and those league-leading Mancunians remain.
I’m not going to flat out say that the Gunners are out of the race, because that’s not what I’m all about here at FCS, but just looking at their track record and their penchant for a nice second-half collapse, it doesn’t look good. Even the most self-righteous Arsene addict has to agree with me on that one. Swallow your pride, mateys, the facts don’t lie.
[Cue the crying that I’m a Manchester United supporter and I’ll only ever sing their praises]
I’m trying to be as objective as I can here and always have, it’s just hard to look past Sir Alex’s men. When they can get scrappy 1-0 results against a very well organized team like Bolton and Arsenal fall apart against a very winnable side like West Brom, you have to think that title numero 19 is in the offing.
You can’t overlook Chelsea, though, right? They’ve played great lately and could certainly knock United out of the Champions. Wrong, at least about the beginning bit. The Blues have been much improved in recent weeks but simply have too much ground to make up after a horrendous middle portion of the season.
How could we forget that stretch that the Blues didn’t win in six and only won one out of ten? Those kinds of runs are unforgiving and will never yield a championship-winning team. Not this season, not next season, not ever. The separation in quality is closing among teams in this league, but not that much.
It’s a shame, too, because lately they have been such a fun team to watch. David Luiz (click ze link) has almost single-handedly energized the entire team and put them back in contention. A Champions League spot will be the only reward though, at least domestically.
Against Manchester City, they were bright and forceful and shut down the Citizens’ attack at every turn. This is a far cry from the team that lost back-to-back matches against Sunderland and Birmingham in November. Sure, there was no Carlos Tevez in the lineup for City, which hurts, but they had literally no answer for the constant pressure that Chelsea exerted.
I was confident that Edin Dzeko would be a factor but that Sideshow Bob-looking Brazilian Luiz kept him in check the entire match. It really was something to behold. There are at least three occasions when the Bosnian had Luiz mano-y-mano. On all three attempts he was thwarted confidently. Manchester didn’t even have one solid chance on goal the entire match.
I repeat...it’s a shame Chelsea played such crap football for a while there because we really could have a title fight on our hands had they not took a month off to drink eggnog and wear Christmas sweaters (two of my favorite things to do, mind).
So is the title race truly over? It’s gotta be at a 70-30 yes to no ratio at the moment. As always, hit me up on the Twitters (@shanevans) and email (shane.evans@goal.com) to argue your points. I’ll always respond, as with great power comes great responsibility.
Pickled Onions
In year one of TFE/FCS, I was good. In year two, I was great. In year three, it’s slump time. Another lackluster week for your old boy.
My first match I nailed on the head. Chelsea did indeed top Manchester City at the Bridge and what a victory it was. Then things turned for the worse…
Following that, I had Sunderland pulling off a huge win over Liverpool, but unfortunately, their ugly run continues as the Reds knocked them off 2-love.
Lastly, Arsenal were supposed to avenge their defeat at the hand of the Baggies and take Roy boy’s boys down a peg or two. Nope. They tied...after going down by two. Ick.
Overall: 25-20-2
Floating helplessly above .500. Almost like Charlie Sheen above a complete breakdown…
Mushy Peas
Well, we have an international break coming up so I guess I should be covering that. Begrudgingly, that is.
The US of A play Argentina at the ‘new’ Meadowlands on Saturday. I have to go because that’s what high-ranking Goal.com editors do: attend the big matches. I’ll be missing the Philadelphia Union’s home opener. Not best pleased. I’ll also likely miss some of the national team that matters match against Wales.
Yes, my beloved England Three Lions will take on their adopted soft-spoken brothers at Millennium Stadium in a match that actually matters. Aside from that big one they call ‘The World Cup,’ the Euros is probably the biggest international tournament out there. England did not qualify last time. Was kind of a mess.
They get to start anew on Saturday and will look to begin with points, not disappointment. Wales are an up-and-coming side with some good young talent (Andy King, anyone? (yeah, that Bale fella, too)) but Capello’s men should be victorious.
Unfortunately, ‘should’ and ‘England football’ rarely go well together.
The Fixins’
Your ‘I’m Not Your Cup of Tea’ Award of the Week
John Terry, Chelsea & England: Well, that was fun while it lasted. JT is officially back as England captain. Let the nekked shenanigans begin. All jokes aside, Terry is one hell of a leader and is probably, possibly, potentially the right man to lead England through the Euro ’12 qualification process. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want this guy wearing the armband? Click the link, people. It’s funny.
Tweet of the Week: @raminmajd
“We have a winner in the "joke about the Jacko statue at Craven Cottage" contest. RT @shanEvans: is it going to be Black or Lilywhite?”
I was really the one saying something awesome, but my main man Ramin gets props for acknowledging my brilliance. Keep it up.
Player of the Week: Robert Green, West Ham
Nammmmmme drop. I haven’t said Green’s first and last since, well, the World Cup. Having a somewhat decent year for the Hammers, Green was pretty immense in his team’s hard-fought 0-0 draw against Tottenham at the weekend. Spurs threw 31 shots at Green, nine of which were on target. He was active and aware in keeping them all out, in front of a shaky defense. Must have been a slow week elsewhere…
Rotten Egg of the Week: Manuel Almunia, Arsenal
Was pretty poor against West Brom. Telling of a goalkeeper who couldn’t win a start to save his life these last few months. Didn’t help that Sebastien Squillaci looked third rate and yeah, just an ugly ugly showing by a team that really doesn’t play the way their position in the table reflects.
Gaffe of the Week: Jonny Evans, Manchester United
Imagine this. You’re at the bottom of the depth chart at your particular position. Wes Brown is above you. Everyone gets hurt so you get a chance to play. What do you do? Earn yourself a straight red card for a hellacious studs up tackle on a 50-50. Result? Don’t see the pitch again for the rest of the season and likely get transferred in the summer. Your name? Jonny Evans. No relation to Shane Evans.
Goal of the Week: Luis Suarez, Liverpool
That little Uruguayan scamp is at it again. Skipping down the goalline from the corner flag against Sunderland, he fired a shot from a very very tight angle and saw it blast against the far netting. Good shot? Maybe. Terrible goalkeeping? Probably. Weirdest ears ever? Definitely.
Game of the Week: Chelsea 2-0 Manchester City
Some real up and down stuff at Stamford Bridge last week. A match fit for the final day of the season between two of the league’s top teams. Too bad little was at stake given the fact that Chelsea will probably miss out on winning the title while City almost have their beloved Champions League spot all but wrapped in a bow. At least David Luiz had this to give us.
Shane Evans is Deputy Editor of Goal.com. His feature, "Fish & Chip Shots" appears weekly. Contact Shane at shane.evans@goal.com with questions, comments and concerns, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/shanEvans or join the TFE/FCS Facebook fan page!
For more news on England, visit Goal.com's England section!
It certainly seems like it.
The silky smooth Bulgarian affectively put United up five points with eight matches remaining and with a floundering Arsenal side on their heels, it’s doubtful that the Gunners (or anyone else) will catch them. I have spoken.
Looking at the run to the end of the season, the Red Devs have West Ham, Fulham, Newcastle, Everton, Arsenal, Chelsea, Blackburn and Blackpool left. Even if they lose both matches against their feisty London competition (no not Fulham and West Ham), they’ll still be in very good shape to take home the trophy.
If they win those two fixtures, well, the champion could be crowned with a fortnight remaining in the season.
Arsenal, a team that have resorted to signing a 41-year-old goalkeeper and have been dropped from three competitions in the last month, do have a game in hand, which is all well and good. The teams they have to play however are just as challenging and if not more so. Bouts against Liverpool, Tottenham, Bolton and those league-leading Mancunians remain.
I’m not going to flat out say that the Gunners are out of the race, because that’s not what I’m all about here at FCS, but just looking at their track record and their penchant for a nice second-half collapse, it doesn’t look good. Even the most self-righteous Arsene addict has to agree with me on that one. Swallow your pride, mateys, the facts don’t lie.
[Cue the crying that I’m a Manchester United supporter and I’ll only ever sing their praises]
The Berb | Why thank you very much!
I’m trying to be as objective as I can here and always have, it’s just hard to look past Sir Alex’s men. When they can get scrappy 1-0 results against a very well organized team like Bolton and Arsenal fall apart against a very winnable side like West Brom, you have to think that title numero 19 is in the offing.
You can’t overlook Chelsea, though, right? They’ve played great lately and could certainly knock United out of the Champions. Wrong, at least about the beginning bit. The Blues have been much improved in recent weeks but simply have too much ground to make up after a horrendous middle portion of the season.
The Bags | Why thank you very much!
How could we forget that stretch that the Blues didn’t win in six and only won one out of ten? Those kinds of runs are unforgiving and will never yield a championship-winning team. Not this season, not next season, not ever. The separation in quality is closing among teams in this league, but not that much.
It’s a shame, too, because lately they have been such a fun team to watch. David Luiz (click ze link) has almost single-handedly energized the entire team and put them back in contention. A Champions League spot will be the only reward though, at least domestically.
Against Manchester City, they were bright and forceful and shut down the Citizens’ attack at every turn. This is a far cry from the team that lost back-to-back matches against Sunderland and Birmingham in November. Sure, there was no Carlos Tevez in the lineup for City, which hurts, but they had literally no answer for the constant pressure that Chelsea exerted.
The Bonnet | Thanks you very much?
I was confident that Edin Dzeko would be a factor but that Sideshow Bob-looking Brazilian Luiz kept him in check the entire match. It really was something to behold. There are at least three occasions when the Bosnian had Luiz mano-y-mano. On all three attempts he was thwarted confidently. Manchester didn’t even have one solid chance on goal the entire match.
I repeat...it’s a shame Chelsea played such crap football for a while there because we really could have a title fight on our hands had they not took a month off to drink eggnog and wear Christmas sweaters (two of my favorite things to do, mind).
So is the title race truly over? It’s gotta be at a 70-30 yes to no ratio at the moment. As always, hit me up on the Twitters (@shanevans) and email (shane.evans@goal.com) to argue your points. I’ll always respond, as with great power comes great responsibility.
Pickled Onions
In year one of TFE/FCS, I was good. In year two, I was great. In year three, it’s slump time. Another lackluster week for your old boy.
My first match I nailed on the head. Chelsea did indeed top Manchester City at the Bridge and what a victory it was. Then things turned for the worse…
Following that, I had Sunderland pulling off a huge win over Liverpool, but unfortunately, their ugly run continues as the Reds knocked them off 2-love.
Lastly, Arsenal were supposed to avenge their defeat at the hand of the Baggies and take Roy boy’s boys down a peg or two. Nope. They tied...after going down by two. Ick.
Overall: 25-20-2
Floating helplessly above .500. Almost like Charlie Sheen above a complete breakdown…
Mushy Peas
Well, we have an international break coming up so I guess I should be covering that. Begrudgingly, that is.
The US of A play Argentina at the ‘new’ Meadowlands on Saturday. I have to go because that’s what high-ranking Goal.com editors do: attend the big matches. I’ll be missing the Philadelphia Union’s home opener. Not best pleased. I’ll also likely miss some of the national team that matters match against Wales.
Yes, my beloved England Three Lions will take on their adopted soft-spoken brothers at Millennium Stadium in a match that actually matters. Aside from that big one they call ‘The World Cup,’ the Euros is probably the biggest international tournament out there. England did not qualify last time. Was kind of a mess.
They get to start anew on Saturday and will look to begin with points, not disappointment. Wales are an up-and-coming side with some good young talent (Andy King, anyone? (yeah, that Bale fella, too)) but Capello’s men should be victorious.
Unfortunately, ‘should’ and ‘England football’ rarely go well together.
The Fixins’
Your ‘I’m Not Your Cup of Tea’ Award of the Week
John Terry, Chelsea & England: Well, that was fun while it lasted. JT is officially back as England captain. Let the nekked shenanigans begin. All jokes aside, Terry is one hell of a leader and is probably, possibly, potentially the right man to lead England through the Euro ’12 qualification process. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want this guy wearing the armband? Click the link, people. It’s funny.
The Banished... | ...has returned!
Tweet of the Week: @raminmajd
“We have a winner in the "joke about the Jacko statue at Craven Cottage" contest. RT @shanEvans: is it going to be Black or Lilywhite?”
I was really the one saying something awesome, but my main man Ramin gets props for acknowledging my brilliance. Keep it up.
Player of the Week: Robert Green, West Ham
Nammmmmme drop. I haven’t said Green’s first and last since, well, the World Cup. Having a somewhat decent year for the Hammers, Green was pretty immense in his team’s hard-fought 0-0 draw against Tottenham at the weekend. Spurs threw 31 shots at Green, nine of which were on target. He was active and aware in keeping them all out, in front of a shaky defense. Must have been a slow week elsewhere…
Rotten Egg of the Week: Manuel Almunia, Arsenal
Was pretty poor against West Brom. Telling of a goalkeeper who couldn’t win a start to save his life these last few months. Didn’t help that Sebastien Squillaci looked third rate and yeah, just an ugly ugly showing by a team that really doesn’t play the way their position in the table reflects.
Gaffe of the Week: Jonny Evans, Manchester United
Imagine this. You’re at the bottom of the depth chart at your particular position. Wes Brown is above you. Everyone gets hurt so you get a chance to play. What do you do? Earn yourself a straight red card for a hellacious studs up tackle on a 50-50. Result? Don’t see the pitch again for the rest of the season and likely get transferred in the summer. Your name? Jonny Evans. No relation to Shane Evans.
Goal of the Week: Luis Suarez, Liverpool
That little Uruguayan scamp is at it again. Skipping down the goalline from the corner flag against Sunderland, he fired a shot from a very very tight angle and saw it blast against the far netting. Good shot? Maybe. Terrible goalkeeping? Probably. Weirdest ears ever? Definitely.
The Batman | Literally...look at those things.
Game of the Week: Chelsea 2-0 Manchester City
Some real up and down stuff at Stamford Bridge last week. A match fit for the final day of the season between two of the league’s top teams. Too bad little was at stake given the fact that Chelsea will probably miss out on winning the title while City almost have their beloved Champions League spot all but wrapped in a bow. At least David Luiz had this to give us.
Shane Evans is Deputy Editor of Goal.com. His feature, "Fish & Chip Shots" appears weekly. Contact Shane at shane.evans@goal.com with questions, comments and concerns, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/shanEvans or join the TFE/FCS Facebook fan page!
For more news on England, visit Goal.com's England section!
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