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The Full English: Italian Delight
It’s a Milanese reunion in England this weekend…
Feb 26, 2010 1:54:00 PM
By Shane Evans
Bust out the cappuccino and thin cigarettes everyone, the Italians are here!
That’s right, our highlight match today will feature not one, but TWO Italian head coaches patrolling the sidelines of the now aptly renamed Ponte dei Stamford. On top of that, they used to play each other all the time back in Milan!
Do you know who I’m referencing yet? Of course you do. My readers, I’ve decided, are the smartest footy readers on Earth. So take your right hand and raise it in the air, then bend it back and give yourself a nice little pat on the back. Pretend it’s me doing it. Well done.
So we have this epic coming together of former Lombardic dugout sitters...but what else? The Carling Cup? Barely worthy of a Toast mention, but we’ll throw it in there. The other two matches will be Spurs-Everton as that race for fourth is probably more entertaining than the one for the title and and and a match between the bottom two...you know who are you.
Shall we get started then? Yes, lets. Molto buon!
The Prosciutto (as in Bringing It Back To Mama)
Chelsea vs. Manchester City (Stamford Bridge, February 27th, 7:45 a.m. ET, ESPN2)
It just dawned on me that a week ago we were discussing how those two blocks from up north...you know, way north, were going to have at each other at Goodison. Now we are treated a more refined battle of wits between two of the game’s finer minds. Yeah, right.
I’ll give it to Carlo and Roberto, they have done some excellent things in their respective careers, but right now, in England, the slates are blank. It also makes me wonder, who came up with the names first? Did we just drop the ‘o’ or did they add it? That my friends is the story for another day.
The match itself should be a cracker. Both teams are coming off of pretty embarrassing performances in their showings. First, Chelsea, outplayed and out-muscled against their former boss' and Roberto’s former team’s team. That makes sense, right? No one in foggy London town should be pleased with that one, particularly Carlo, who was shot down in his former home.
In a far inferior display than what we saw from Chelsea, the Eastlands boys were taken down a peg or two by the hardest working team in England, Stoke City. Not only that, they are the most financially stable club, too, having rid themselves of ALL external debt. Impressive. The match was just an ugly performance by City and they deserved to be out of the cup and because of it, will most likely go trophy-less again this season. Heads will roll, heads will roll.
One of the biggest talking points in the match was a punch to the face of Ryan Shawcross issued by my favorite lazy man, Emmanuel Adebayor. The Togo bad boy got a straight red for the incident, which was certainly helped along by Shawcross’ dive and he’ll now miss four matches, including this Chelsea brouhaha. Not looking good for City...pity.
So far this season City’s MVP has been Craig Bellamy. Easily. One of the first spendings of the new regime, the wacky Welshman hasn’t disappointed. He’ll have to be big in this one, more specifically, he’ll have be a pest, something he’s quite good at. If City can get him going, putting pressure on Chelsea’s fullbacks, they may be in with a chance, they do have the firepower after all, and that’s even sans Ade.
Unlike how things unraveled in Italy most of the last few years, I think Carlo has the upper hand in this encounter. His team are better, playing better and despite all the off-the-field shenanigans, should prevail.
TFE Prediction: I’m going Chelsea in a 3-1 spanking. Probably won’t happen, but that’s the fun of it. Bellissimo!
Tottenham vs. Everton (White Hart Lane, February 28th, 8:00 a.m. ET, Setanta Sports)
One of the best lines from Mr. Deeds: Adam Sandler asks Reuben the elevator guy how the business is treating him, he replies by saying, “oh, it has its ups and downs.” Hilarious movie, poignant reference.
Everton are experiencing the figurative life of an elevator operator right now. Up because they beat Manchester United and Chelsea and seemed to be on course to advance in the Europa League. Then they went to Portugal and got their tuckuses handed to them by Sporting and are once again down on their luck.
Maybe they’re just better suited to domestic football, I don’t know, but it was definitely a punch to the gut of the team and they really can’t afford to slip up now with Spurs on the docket. A win against the team currently occupying the fourth spot in the table would be huge for them going forward as they hope to regain their place on the continent for next season.
The home side have apparently been struck by the bubonic plague and will surely be missing a player or two from their regular XI on Sunday fun-day. The plus side is that they are scoring goals. A 3-0 win over Wigan and then a 4-0 bashing of Bolton in the FA Cup have the Lilywhites confidence up a bit and will be looking to pounce on a slightly disheartened Everton side. Another bonus: Pavyluchenko is scoring goals again! And playing! Arsenal should have bought him this January...in true Sol Campbell fashion. Well, sort of.
Sorry, Merseysiders, I think I’ve got Spurs in this one. Pav for five.
TFE Predicion: Maybe not five, but he’s playing with a chip on his shoulder and ‘Arry likes that. Spurs 2-1 winners.
Burnley vs. Portsmouth (Turf Moor, February 27th, 10 a.m. ET)
19th and 20th. Might as well just change their numbers now to those goofy gold Championship designs. Portsmouth, yes. Not sure about Burnley. On a steady slide since November, a time when they were as high as 10th, the Clarets have been on a slippery slope lately and now find themselves in Pompey territory.
There just aren’t any goals to be had. Steven Fletcher has been fantastic, contributing seven, and Graham Alexander has netted five (though most are pens, I reckon). They just seem like one of those teams that came up too fast and could be sent packing again by the end of the season. That, or they could pull of some Phil Brown magic and escape (in a loss) on the last day of the season. Something tells me Brian Laws won’t get on the mic and start singing…
Pompey on the other hand are in all kinds of trouble. I think they should just pack up shop for the season, send their players on an extended holiday and regroup next season when they’re 20 points in the hole. Give them a running start. Seven points from safety and not one person involved in the team is worrying about the on-the-field product. Well, Avram Grant withstanding.
The guy was given the helm of a sinking ship. “Here you go, Avram, we’re totally screwed, but we need someone with a mean scowl to make us look scary to our opposition.”
Expect few goals in this one. And by few I mean negative goals. Is that possible? Heck, maybe I’ll be way off and we’ll see a 5-4 thriller. Regardless, I’ve got Burnley.
TFE Prediction: Burnley win 1-0. Yup.
The Toast (as in Of The EPL)
The Carling Cup Final: Probably known as the last ever match on Setanta (is that right? I don’t have that crap channel, never did), this final should be moderately worth watching. I feel like United are in it every year and still don’t give a hoot. I think they’ll win it again, but you never can tell with Martin O’Neil. He did win a few league cups way back when with a certain other team in the midlands. Here’s a hint: their name starts with L and rhymes with jester.
Bobby Zamora, Fulham: This has been a topic that has been simmering at a slow boil for a while now. The Cottagers big man has been scoring goals lately. Whenever an English striker starts scoring goals, and frequently, people always start to suggest he should get a call-up. Carlton Cole, Dean Ashton, and Andrew Johnson before him: all quality players, great strikers for their club. Good enough for England? Maybe. Good enough for England in a World Cup year? Not likely.
Portsmouth: Getting tired of writing about this, but yeah, they’re in administration now. I’m not a money man, so I don’t really know what that means other than that they’ve been pretty naughty with the purse strings and find themselves knee deep in IOUs. Let’s hope they sort it all out and I look forward to seeing them back in the Premier League by the time England hosts the World Cup, whenever that may be.
Leicester Update
Forest. Forest. Forest. Riding a slightly tepid seven-match unbeaten run (3-0-4), the Foxes will now welcome the team who handed us our most embarrassing loss of the season back in December. Oh, and we hate their friggin’ guts. Word on the street is that the Walkers is going to be near packed capacity on Saturday, putting us up there as far as highest-attended matches in all of England goes. I’ll be going crazy from around 10 a.m. ET to 12 p.m., and if there isn’t a FCS on Tuesday, well, you get the idea…
Philadelphia Union Update
It figures that when Philadelphia FINALLY gets a professional soccer team, the league and players are at each other’s necks about a possible strike. I get it, you each want things that the other doesn’t want to give, blah blah blah. If the league strikes, and everyone knows this, it may be lights out for all they’ve built over these last 17 years or what not. The promising bit is that I get the impression that the two sides also realize that.
And Finally...The Black Pudding of the Week
Wayne Bridge, Manchester City: This guy has a brass set of you-know-whats. Walking away from the English national team because of what John Terry did takes a lot of cojones and he’s kept his integrity in tact. I agree with it from a moral standpoint, but as a football player, with the opportunity to play in the World Cup this summer, I’d stuff my sorrys in a sack and man up. That’s just me though. I mean who doesn’t want to go to South Africa? Really? Oh, and he plays JT and his old boys tomorrow morning. Should be a fun one...
Shane Evans is an Associate Editor of Goal.com. His feature, "The Full English" appears every Friday morning. Contact Shane at shane.evans@goal.com with questions, comments and concerns, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/shanEvans
Bust out the cappuccino and thin cigarettes everyone, the Italians are here!
That’s right, our highlight match today will feature not one, but TWO Italian head coaches patrolling the sidelines of the now aptly renamed Ponte dei Stamford. On top of that, they used to play each other all the time back in Milan!
Do you know who I’m referencing yet? Of course you do. My readers, I’ve decided, are the smartest footy readers on Earth. So take your right hand and raise it in the air, then bend it back and give yourself a nice little pat on the back. Pretend it’s me doing it. Well done.
So we have this epic coming together of former Lombardic dugout sitters...but what else? The Carling Cup? Barely worthy of a Toast mention, but we’ll throw it in there. The other two matches will be Spurs-Everton as that race for fourth is probably more entertaining than the one for the title and and and a match between the bottom two...you know who are you.
Shall we get started then? Yes, lets. Molto buon!
The Prosciutto (as in Bringing It Back To Mama)
Chelsea vs. Manchester City (Stamford Bridge, February 27th, 7:45 a.m. ET, ESPN2)
It just dawned on me that a week ago we were discussing how those two blocks from up north...you know, way north, were going to have at each other at Goodison. Now we are treated a more refined battle of wits between two of the game’s finer minds. Yeah, right.
I’ll give it to Carlo and Roberto, they have done some excellent things in their respective careers, but right now, in England, the slates are blank. It also makes me wonder, who came up with the names first? Did we just drop the ‘o’ or did they add it? That my friends is the story for another day.
The match itself should be a cracker. Both teams are coming off of pretty embarrassing performances in their showings. First, Chelsea, outplayed and out-muscled against their former boss' and Roberto’s former team’s team. That makes sense, right? No one in foggy London town should be pleased with that one, particularly Carlo, who was shot down in his former home.
In a far inferior display than what we saw from Chelsea, the Eastlands boys were taken down a peg or two by the hardest working team in England, Stoke City. Not only that, they are the most financially stable club, too, having rid themselves of ALL external debt. Impressive. The match was just an ugly performance by City and they deserved to be out of the cup and because of it, will most likely go trophy-less again this season. Heads will roll, heads will roll.
One of the biggest talking points in the match was a punch to the face of Ryan Shawcross issued by my favorite lazy man, Emmanuel Adebayor. The Togo bad boy got a straight red for the incident, which was certainly helped along by Shawcross’ dive and he’ll now miss four matches, including this Chelsea brouhaha. Not looking good for City...pity.
So far this season City’s MVP has been Craig Bellamy. Easily. One of the first spendings of the new regime, the wacky Welshman hasn’t disappointed. He’ll have to be big in this one, more specifically, he’ll have be a pest, something he’s quite good at. If City can get him going, putting pressure on Chelsea’s fullbacks, they may be in with a chance, they do have the firepower after all, and that’s even sans Ade.
Unlike how things unraveled in Italy most of the last few years, I think Carlo has the upper hand in this encounter. His team are better, playing better and despite all the off-the-field shenanigans, should prevail.
TFE Prediction: I’m going Chelsea in a 3-1 spanking. Probably won’t happen, but that’s the fun of it. Bellissimo!
Tottenham vs. Everton (White Hart Lane, February 28th, 8:00 a.m. ET, Setanta Sports)
One of the best lines from Mr. Deeds: Adam Sandler asks Reuben the elevator guy how the business is treating him, he replies by saying, “oh, it has its ups and downs.” Hilarious movie, poignant reference.
Everton are experiencing the figurative life of an elevator operator right now. Up because they beat Manchester United and Chelsea and seemed to be on course to advance in the Europa League. Then they went to Portugal and got their tuckuses handed to them by Sporting and are once again down on their luck.
Maybe they’re just better suited to domestic football, I don’t know, but it was definitely a punch to the gut of the team and they really can’t afford to slip up now with Spurs on the docket. A win against the team currently occupying the fourth spot in the table would be huge for them going forward as they hope to regain their place on the continent for next season.
The home side have apparently been struck by the bubonic plague and will surely be missing a player or two from their regular XI on Sunday fun-day. The plus side is that they are scoring goals. A 3-0 win over Wigan and then a 4-0 bashing of Bolton in the FA Cup have the Lilywhites confidence up a bit and will be looking to pounce on a slightly disheartened Everton side. Another bonus: Pavyluchenko is scoring goals again! And playing! Arsenal should have bought him this January...in true Sol Campbell fashion. Well, sort of.
Sorry, Merseysiders, I think I’ve got Spurs in this one. Pav for five.
TFE Predicion: Maybe not five, but he’s playing with a chip on his shoulder and ‘Arry likes that. Spurs 2-1 winners.
Burnley vs. Portsmouth (Turf Moor, February 27th, 10 a.m. ET)
19th and 20th. Might as well just change their numbers now to those goofy gold Championship designs. Portsmouth, yes. Not sure about Burnley. On a steady slide since November, a time when they were as high as 10th, the Clarets have been on a slippery slope lately and now find themselves in Pompey territory.
There just aren’t any goals to be had. Steven Fletcher has been fantastic, contributing seven, and Graham Alexander has netted five (though most are pens, I reckon). They just seem like one of those teams that came up too fast and could be sent packing again by the end of the season. That, or they could pull of some Phil Brown magic and escape (in a loss) on the last day of the season. Something tells me Brian Laws won’t get on the mic and start singing…
Pompey on the other hand are in all kinds of trouble. I think they should just pack up shop for the season, send their players on an extended holiday and regroup next season when they’re 20 points in the hole. Give them a running start. Seven points from safety and not one person involved in the team is worrying about the on-the-field product. Well, Avram Grant withstanding.
The guy was given the helm of a sinking ship. “Here you go, Avram, we’re totally screwed, but we need someone with a mean scowl to make us look scary to our opposition.”
Expect few goals in this one. And by few I mean negative goals. Is that possible? Heck, maybe I’ll be way off and we’ll see a 5-4 thriller. Regardless, I’ve got Burnley.
TFE Prediction: Burnley win 1-0. Yup.
The Toast (as in Of The EPL)
The Carling Cup Final: Probably known as the last ever match on Setanta (is that right? I don’t have that crap channel, never did), this final should be moderately worth watching. I feel like United are in it every year and still don’t give a hoot. I think they’ll win it again, but you never can tell with Martin O’Neil. He did win a few league cups way back when with a certain other team in the midlands. Here’s a hint: their name starts with L and rhymes with jester.
Bobby Zamora, Fulham: This has been a topic that has been simmering at a slow boil for a while now. The Cottagers big man has been scoring goals lately. Whenever an English striker starts scoring goals, and frequently, people always start to suggest he should get a call-up. Carlton Cole, Dean Ashton, and Andrew Johnson before him: all quality players, great strikers for their club. Good enough for England? Maybe. Good enough for England in a World Cup year? Not likely.
Portsmouth: Getting tired of writing about this, but yeah, they’re in administration now. I’m not a money man, so I don’t really know what that means other than that they’ve been pretty naughty with the purse strings and find themselves knee deep in IOUs. Let’s hope they sort it all out and I look forward to seeing them back in the Premier League by the time England hosts the World Cup, whenever that may be.
Leicester Update
Forest. Forest. Forest. Riding a slightly tepid seven-match unbeaten run (3-0-4), the Foxes will now welcome the team who handed us our most embarrassing loss of the season back in December. Oh, and we hate their friggin’ guts. Word on the street is that the Walkers is going to be near packed capacity on Saturday, putting us up there as far as highest-attended matches in all of England goes. I’ll be going crazy from around 10 a.m. ET to 12 p.m., and if there isn’t a FCS on Tuesday, well, you get the idea…
Philadelphia Union Update
It figures that when Philadelphia FINALLY gets a professional soccer team, the league and players are at each other’s necks about a possible strike. I get it, you each want things that the other doesn’t want to give, blah blah blah. If the league strikes, and everyone knows this, it may be lights out for all they’ve built over these last 17 years or what not. The promising bit is that I get the impression that the two sides also realize that.
And Finally...The Black Pudding of the Week
Wayne Bridge, Manchester City: This guy has a brass set of you-know-whats. Walking away from the English national team because of what John Terry did takes a lot of cojones and he’s kept his integrity in tact. I agree with it from a moral standpoint, but as a football player, with the opportunity to play in the World Cup this summer, I’d stuff my sorrys in a sack and man up. That’s just me though. I mean who doesn’t want to go to South Africa? Really? Oh, and he plays JT and his old boys tomorrow morning. Should be a fun one...
Shane Evans is an Associate Editor of Goal.com. His feature, "The Full English" appears every Friday morning. Contact Shane at shane.evans@goal.com with questions, comments and concerns, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/shanEvans
For more news on England, visit Goal.com's England section!
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