Fish & Chip Shots: Sour Grapes

Carlo Ancelotti | If I was him, I wouldn't be smiling

A few things came to mind immediately after I heard this news. Firstly, doesn’t FIFA oversee every transfer that happens in the world of football? Don’t they have guys in dark rooms in Zurich meticulously checking over paperwork and then rechecking it for kicks? Shouldn’t they have seen this coming? Stepped in, even? Oh no no, let the children make mistakes and we’ll punish them later. That way they’ll learn…

What about Lens? They allowed the transfer to happen and were privy to the whole process. Not only are they not subject to any of this bad publicity, but they are receiving a nice €130,000 check from Chelsea for “training compensation.”

I am not saying Chelsea are in the clear here, but if you think they’d jeopardize the future of their first team by doing something this illegal, you’ve been hanging out with Michel Platini too much. I’m sure they understood they were bending the rules a bit, but had the Blues known the punishment they’d receive because of it, I’m sure it never would have happened.

Somewhat unsurprisingly, shortly after the Chelsea news broke, more clubs came forward against teams in England, specifically Manchester United and Manchester City, with who knows how many more to come.

Who were the accusers? All French clubs. Manchester United were targeted by Le Havre over the Paul Pogba signing and now most recently, Manchester City have had Rennes accuse them of wrongdoing when they signed Jeremy Helan.

Arsene Wenger | They got nothin' on me! I am le innocent!

Funny how the team with the youngest core, Arsenal, hasn’t been pointed out yet. Could it have something to do with their gaffer being a Frenchy? Never. Do I look like a conspiracy theorist?

I just think that people enjoy pointing fingers, and in the sport of football the EPL seems to be the easy target. Not sure why, but that always seems to be the case. I’m not being a homer here, just stating my observations. Italy had one of the biggest scandals in football history less than five years ago and that is all-but-forgotten. Brazil went through a similar ordeal in 2005. Maybe, I should grow thicker skin or something, but when there are people like Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini out there in top positions, there will always be this undercurrent of disdain for the Old Blighty.

Needless to say, I blame the French.

Mushy Peas

Obviously, since there were no EPL matches at the weekend, I had no predictions to justify, so we can move on to the lovely goodness that is Mushy Peas. In this week’s section, I’m going to touch on some of the international fixtures that we got to take in this weekend, specifically those involving our not-so-powerful world footy powers.

How can one man turn a team from being easily a top five ranked nation any time of the year into a sputtering mess. This man isn’t even a player. Well, he was, but no longer. Obviously, I’m talking about Diego Maradona.

Diego Maradona | Zoinks!

It’s amazing to me that with the players Argentina have in their line-up that they are struggling to qualify for next summer’s World Cup. If I was their coach, it’d be me telling them, “do your thing out there, we’ll win for sure.” Maradona apparently doesn’t get this concept and has managed to kill the creative engine that traditionally drives them.

If I was Argentinian, I’d be quite torn. Maradona is a national hero. As close to God as a mere mortal can come (get it?). They were going to put him on their money for Pete’s sake. But when you see what he’s done to this team, it’s kind of hard to deny that it may have been a poor decision to hire him in the first place.

The same can be said about two typically strong nations in Europe, them being France and Portugal. Both are precariously close to missing out on next summer’s World Cup given their dismal qualifying form.

The tournament won’t be the same without these three aforementioned nations included, but I can’t really complain given that they are arguably England’s three biggest rivals. Now if we could only get those Germans to choke in their last three matches…

The Fixins’: Blown Call of the Week: Jonas Eriksson, Referee of England v. Slovenia match


More diving talk, really? Yup. Wazza was at it again. Less than a week after his iffy call against Arsenal, Rooney got an absolute gift in England’s friendly against Slovenia. The thing is: there was no shout for a penalty to be called. It just looked like Eriksson called it out of the blue. Rooney was all over Slovenian defender Cesar and vice versa, but England got the call, the PK, and the opening goal. I just think it’s funny that it was given without a hint of complaint from either party.

Tweet of the Week: @obit_rice

“Soccer experts (even you Duffy) tell me honest to God why does Dunga still pick Gilberto Silva?  @shanevans @tyduffy @grantwahl”

Yeah, that’s right...some people consider me an expert. How ‘bout them apples?

Player of the Week: Roman Pavlyuchenko, Russia

Can’t get a sniff with Spurs but the lanky Russki shows his true self when surrounded by fellow Russkis as evidenced by the brace he netted for his country against Liechenstein on Saturday. Does this mean ‘Ol Harry will get him on the pitch? Eh, doubtful. Especially when he has the mighty Jermain Defoe!

Not-so Team of the Week: Argentina

You played Brazil, never easy. But you simply cannot lose 3-1 to your biggest rival at home. That’s just straight up embarrassing. Now you might not even qualify for the World Cup. It’s a shame really, a crying (for a handball) shame.

Goal of the Week: James McFadden, Scotland

I don’t often praise the Scots, but in this case, it’s certainly warranted. James McFadden, who plays his club football at Birmingham, scored one of those truly impressive individual goals that you just don’t see very often anymore. Taking the ball from the halfway line, McFadden burst up the field and cut between defenders like they weren’t even there and executed the coolest of finishes to give home side a 2-0 win over Macedonia, a win that keeps their slim World Cup hopes alive.

Gaffe of the Week: Any club team in Europe who has recently turned down the chance to sign Landon Donovan

The guy can play. Simple as that. He’s an excellent player, role model, ambassador of the game and he deserves (as much as it pains me to say this because of my objection to MLS selling its best players) to be playing at a big club somewhere in Europe. His contributions to the USMNT’s win over El Salvador were huge and he is easily the best player in MLS. If he doesn’t move in January, I’ll be shocked.

Landon Donovan | I can't believe I made it into FCS! Whoopee!!!

Game of the Week: Nigeria 2-2 Tunisia

This game is being featured as the week’s best simply because of what Pele said a ways back. The legendary Brazilian said that the Super Eagles would make it to the semi-finals of next summer’s World Cup...now they are in danger of qualifying. It appears as though someone out there is worse than I am at predicting football. At least I’m not bitter about it.

Shane Evans is an Associate Editor of Goal.com. His feature, "Fish & Chip Shots" appears weekly. Contact Shane at shane.evans@goal.com with questions, comments and concerns or follow him on Twitter at https://www.twitter.com/shanevans

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