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The Full English: Bust A Move
Goal.com’s Shane Evans and “The Full English” return from a short break to bring you the latest news from the EPL and the agonizingly-long summer break.
Jun 12, 2009 2:07:47 PM
By Shane Evans
Well, my summer holidays are over, however short they may have been. I took a little two-week period to reflect on the season that was and to recharge my batteries.
But I’m bloody back, baby.
I could practically hear the cyber world clambering for the return of “The Full English,” and like the old saying goes, “ask and you shall receive.” The first summer edition of TFE is here and is raring to go.
What does the summer mean to me? No, it doesn’t mean Major League Soccer, Zac Lee Rigg. Any fan of English football knows that the summer = spending. Transfers. The rumors fly around faster than Carlos Tevez when he gets his 20 minutes. They are everywhere. My job in this particular column is to break them down.
I’ll go one step farther though, and am going to take a team-by-team look at the EPL and see who needs what, and what each manager wishes they had. You’ll see as we move on.
Anyway, it’s good to be back. I know you all missed me!
Let’s get this show on the road and start breaking down all 20 clubs in the league that is still the best footy division on earth, beginning with everyone’s favorite underachievers: The Gooners.
The Bacon (as in Bringing It Home): The Who Wants Some Edition
Arsenal (08/09 Finish: 4th)
The Buzz: Arsene Wenger appears to be nearing a deal for Ajax center back Thomas Vermaelen. Nice, a center back. Should spell the end for Billy Gallas, at least I hope so. He’s a good player and should do well, but his size is a question. What they need is someone who is experienced. Perhaps a player over the age of 27? Yeah, that’d be great. Oh, and they signed Lukasz Fabianski to a long-term deal. Not sure about that one.
Needs: Center midfield, dependable striker, leadership
Wants: Raw creative player who needs four years to adapt to life in the EPL
IN: Thomas Vermaelen (Ajax) OUT: Emmanuel Adebayor (Milan)
Aston Villa (08/09 Finish: 6th)
The Buzz: Is it just me or does Martin O’Neill have his eyes on every English player in the top flight? First it was Michael Owen, now Jermaine Jenas appears to be in sight. Not to mention those pesky David Bentley rumors. That’s fine with me, he’s building a solid club, despite Gareth Barry’s annoying exit.
Wants: English national team
IN: David Bentley (Tottenham), David Wheater (Middlesbrough) OUT: Barry (Man City), Marlon Harewood (whoever will take him), Nigel Reo-Coker
Birmingham City (08/09 Finish: 2nd in Championship)
The Buzz: One of England’s famed ‘yo-yo’ clubs, Birmingham are back up with the big boys this season under the wise guidance of Alex McLeish. They’re going to need some help if they want to stay up, unfortunately. Their 54 goals was good for 12th in the Championship last season. That won’t cut it in the EPL. Christian Benitez should help with those numbers.
Needs: Striker, striker, some defense, another striker
Wants: Striker, striker, striker
IN: Scott Dann (Coventry), Christian Benitez (Santos Laguna), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard Liege) OUT: Marcus Bent (Anywhere)
Blackburn Rovers (08/09 Finish: 15th)
The Buzz: Big Sam is known for his ability in the transfer market, and he’ll need to keep that up this summer if he wants Rovers to be competitive. With Roque Santa Cruz set to jump ship, he’ll need to turn the profit from him into some solid players.
Needs: Striker, full-back, center midfield
Wants: A bit of everything, eh lads?
IN: Tuncay (Middlesbrough), Gerhard Tremmel (Energie Cottbus) OUT: Roque Santa Cruz (the list is too long), Paul Robinson (Spurs), Matt Derbyshire (Olympiakos)
Bolton Wanderers (08/09 Finish: 13th)
The Buzz: Bolton need help. Their scoring was good last season, but the same can’t be said about the defense. Not to mention the fact that Jussi Jääskeläinen isn’t looking as dependable as he once was.
Needs: Center midfield, center back
Wants: Someone who will actually like Gary Megson
IN: Sean Davis (Portsmouth), Sebastien Puygrenier (Zenit St. Petersburg) OUT: Danny Shittu (Birmingham), Gary Cahill (Arsenal)
Burnley (08/09 Finish: 5th in Championship)
The Buzz: Sorry lads, it’s going to take quite a bit to keep you in the top flight. An ‘out of nowhere’ story, The Clarets shocked everyone by getting promoted this season. It won’t be a shock to see them sent right back. As far as who they’ll bring in, its more of a ‘whoever will join us’ type situation. Good luck.
Needs: Everything
Wants: Whoever they can get
IN: Damien Duff (Newcastle), Kevin Doyle (Reading) OUT: No one if they can help it
Chelsea (08/09 Finish: 3rd)
The Buzz: As usual, Chelsea has been linked with every major star out there. They have the money to back it up as well. Realistically, the Blues need some reliable midfielders and a defender or two to ensure they have depth. Knowing, Mr. Abramovich’s abilities, they’ll get it.
Well, my summer holidays are over, however short they may have been. I took a little two-week period to reflect on the season that was and to recharge my batteries.
But I’m bloody back, baby.
I could practically hear the cyber world clambering for the return of “The Full English,” and like the old saying goes, “ask and you shall receive.” The first summer edition of TFE is here and is raring to go.
What does the summer mean to me? No, it doesn’t mean Major League Soccer, Zac Lee Rigg. Any fan of English football knows that the summer = spending. Transfers. The rumors fly around faster than Carlos Tevez when he gets his 20 minutes. They are everywhere. My job in this particular column is to break them down.
I’ll go one step farther though, and am going to take a team-by-team look at the EPL and see who needs what, and what each manager wishes they had. You’ll see as we move on.
Anyway, it’s good to be back. I know you all missed me!
Let’s get this show on the road and start breaking down all 20 clubs in the league that is still the best footy division on earth, beginning with everyone’s favorite underachievers: The Gooners.
The Bacon (as in Bringing It Home): The Who Wants Some Edition
Arsenal (08/09 Finish: 4th)
The Buzz: Arsene Wenger appears to be nearing a deal for Ajax center back Thomas Vermaelen. Nice, a center back. Should spell the end for Billy Gallas, at least I hope so. He’s a good player and should do well, but his size is a question. What they need is someone who is experienced. Perhaps a player over the age of 27? Yeah, that’d be great. Oh, and they signed Lukasz Fabianski to a long-term deal. Not sure about that one.
Needs: Center midfield, dependable striker, leadership
Wants: Raw creative player who needs four years to adapt to life in the EPL
IN: Thomas Vermaelen (Ajax) OUT: Emmanuel Adebayor (Milan)
Aston Villa (08/09 Finish: 6th)
The Buzz: Is it just me or does Martin O’Neill have his eyes on every English player in the top flight? First it was Michael Owen, now Jermaine Jenas appears to be in sight. Not to mention those pesky David Bentley rumors. That’s fine with me, he’s building a solid club, despite Gareth Barry’s annoying exit.
 David Bentley | On the outs at White Hart Lane? |
Needs: Center midfield, full-back, center back
Wants: English national team
IN: David Bentley (Tottenham), David Wheater (Middlesbrough) OUT: Barry (Man City), Marlon Harewood (whoever will take him), Nigel Reo-Coker
Birmingham City (08/09 Finish: 2nd in Championship)
The Buzz: One of England’s famed ‘yo-yo’ clubs, Birmingham are back up with the big boys this season under the wise guidance of Alex McLeish. They’re going to need some help if they want to stay up, unfortunately. Their 54 goals was good for 12th in the Championship last season. That won’t cut it in the EPL. Christian Benitez should help with those numbers.
Needs: Striker, striker, some defense, another striker
Wants: Striker, striker, striker
IN: Scott Dann (Coventry), Christian Benitez (Santos Laguna), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard Liege) OUT: Marcus Bent (Anywhere)
Blackburn Rovers (08/09 Finish: 15th)
The Buzz: Big Sam is known for his ability in the transfer market, and he’ll need to keep that up this summer if he wants Rovers to be competitive. With Roque Santa Cruz set to jump ship, he’ll need to turn the profit from him into some solid players.
Needs: Striker, full-back, center midfield
Wants: A bit of everything, eh lads?
IN: Tuncay (Middlesbrough), Gerhard Tremmel (Energie Cottbus) OUT: Roque Santa Cruz (the list is too long), Paul Robinson (Spurs), Matt Derbyshire (Olympiakos)
Bolton Wanderers (08/09 Finish: 13th)
The Buzz: Bolton need help. Their scoring was good last season, but the same can’t be said about the defense. Not to mention the fact that Jussi Jääskeläinen isn’t looking as dependable as he once was.
Needs: Center midfield, center back
Wants: Someone who will actually like Gary Megson
IN: Sean Davis (Portsmouth), Sebastien Puygrenier (Zenit St. Petersburg) OUT: Danny Shittu (Birmingham), Gary Cahill (Arsenal)
Burnley (08/09 Finish: 5th in Championship)
The Buzz: Sorry lads, it’s going to take quite a bit to keep you in the top flight. An ‘out of nowhere’ story, The Clarets shocked everyone by getting promoted this season. It won’t be a shock to see them sent right back. As far as who they’ll bring in, its more of a ‘whoever will join us’ type situation. Good luck.
Needs: Everything
Wants: Whoever they can get
IN: Damien Duff (Newcastle), Kevin Doyle (Reading) OUT: No one if they can help it
Chelsea (08/09 Finish: 3rd)
The Buzz: As usual, Chelsea has been linked with every major star out there. They have the money to back it up as well. Realistically, the Blues need some reliable midfielders and a defender or two to ensure they have depth. Knowing, Mr. Abramovich’s abilities, they’ll get it.
 Andrea Pirlo | Following Carlo To Stamford Bridge? |
Needs: Center midfield, winger, full-back
Wants: If they are valued £15 million and up, Chelsea want them
IN: Yuri Zhirkov (CSKA Moscow), Andrea Pirlo (AC Milan) Ashley Young (Aston Villa) OUT: John Obi Mikel (Inter Milan) Deco (Inter Milan) Ricardo Carvalho (Inter Milan)
Everton (08/09 Finish: 5th)
The Buzz: If David Moyes wants to crack the ‘Big Four’ he’ll need to do a bit of spending this summer. Just remains to be seen if he’ll have the means to do so. What they really need is a dependable striker...who can stay healthy. I’d argue that if they had one this season, they’d be a lot closer to Arsenal than they were.
Needs: Striker, midfielder
Wants: The opposite of Luis Saha
IN: Joao Moutinho (Sporting Lisbon), Fabian Delph (Leeds), Niko Kranjcar (Portsmouth) OUT: Joleon Lescott (Manchester City), Steven Pienaar and his silly hair (Atletico Madrid)
Fulham (08/09 Finish: 7th)
The Buzz: Fulham had an excellent season last year given their play the year before and the money they had to spend. A ticket to Europe might help them bring in players, but it’ll be tricky. Holding on to their key pieces will be essential. Brede Hangeland has been rumored to leave, but he loves Hodgson, so I reckon he stays.
Needs: Depth...everywhere, center midfielder
Wants: Creativity and finishing up front
IN: Tom Huddlestone (Tottenham) Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Real Madrid) OUT: Bobby Zamora (Villarreal), Mark Schwarzer (Tottenham)
Hull (08/09 Finish: 17th)
The Buzz: Barely escaping relegation, Hull will need to improve this season or it’s definitely back to the Championship in 2010. Phil Brown is known for making some wise moves, let’s see if he can keep it up this summer. Snagging Frazier Campbell was a great start.
Needs: Solid veteran players, defense
Wants: It don’t matter mate, we’ve got Phil Brown and his headset!
IN: Tal Ben Haim (Manchester City), Frazier Campbell (Manchester United) Kevin Nolan (Newcastle) OUT: Richard Garcia
Liverpool (08/09 Finish: 2nd)
The Buzz: It was a very successful season for Liverpool, even if they didn’t win any trophies. Next season should be better if they can add one or two solid pieces. Benitez has done well to hold onto Xabi Alonso, and that was key. Not to mention Javier Mascherano, who is equally as important. A striker is a questionable decision, but one many are crying for. I’m on the fence.
Needs: Attacking midfielder, fullback, winger
Wants: Anyone who Manchester United are after
IN: David Silva (Valencia), Glen Johnson (Portsmouth) Aaron Lennon (Tottenham) OUT: Jermaine Pennant (Wigan), Andriy Voronin (Hertha Berlin) Sami Hyypia (Bayer Leverkusen), Andrea Dossena (Juventus)
Manchester City (08/09 Finish: 10th)
The Buzz: If Manchester City finish 10th this season, heads will roll...starting with my Welsh buddy Mark Hughes. His side have been linked with every star in the world over the last year, and don’t expect that to change this summer. A bit miffed at how Madrid are doing things, expect Man City to make a splash of their own in the coming weeks.
 Gareth Barry | Wants Champions League football |
Needs: Central defender, striker, full-back
Wants: Anyone valued £20 million or more
IN: Carlos Tevez (Manchester United), Gareth Barry (Aston Villa), Roque Santa Cruz (Blackburn Rovers) OUT: Joe Hart (Birmingham), Jo (Everton), Elano (Juventus)
Manchester United: (08/09 Finish: 1st)
The Buzz: With CR7 apparently on his way out, Sir Alex will have some cash to spend to fill the Portuguese wizard’s huge shoes. It’ll be tough, but he’s wiley and knows a good player when he sees him.
Needs: Attacking midfielder, winger, fullback
Wants: Anyone Liverpool want; the next prodigy
IN: Karim Benzema (Lyon), Alexis Sanchez (Udinese), Glen Johnson, (Portsmouth), Luis Antonio Valencia (Wigan) OUT: Carlos Tevez (Manchester City), Frazier Campbell (Hull), Darren Gibson (Birmingham)
Portsmouth (08/09 Finish: 14th)
The Buzz: First things first...they need a gaffer. That’s step one. Step two, keep some of their key players. Frankly, I reckon the first is doable, not the second. Look for Portsmouth to suffer greatly this summer, as sad as that sounds.
Needs: Striker, center back, holding midfielder
Wants: Harry Redknapp
IN: Joey Barton (Newcastle), Gary O’Neill (Middlesbrough) OUT: Glen Johnson (Liverpool), Sean Davis (Bolton), Peter Crouch (Liverpool) Niko Kranjcar (Everton)
Stoke City (08/09 Finish: 12th)
The Buzz: Stoke were one of the unsung teams in the EPL last season, and Tony Pulis deserves a ton of credit for getting them to 12th place. The goal for this season will be to improve on that. Bringing another goal-scorer and some versatile midfielders will be essential.
Needs: Striker, center back, winger
Wants: Anyone who can hone in on Rory Delap’s throw-ins consistently
IN: Djibril Cisse (Marsielle), Joe Ledley (Cardiff), Richard Dunne (Manchester City) OUT: Dave Kitson (Reading)
Sunderland (08/09 Finish: 16th)
The Buzz: The Black Cats did well to stave off relegation at the end of last season, and will need to add some depth in the summer to keep it going. A true striker will help, especially a motivated one. Steve Bruce will look to bring some depth in as well.
Needs: Striker, midfielder, winger
Wants: Doesn’t matter as long as they don’t play for Newcastle
IN: Darren Bent (Tottenham), Titus Bramble (Wigan), Richard Dunne (Manchester City) OUT: Kenwyne Jones (Tottenham), Anton Ferdinand (Fulham)
Tottenham (08/09 Finish: 8th)
The Buzz: One of the best wheeler and dealers in the business, ‘Ol Harry will be up to his usual tinkering ways this summer. Word is he wants more strikers. I don’t quite get that, he has four solid frontmen as is. Some help in the midfield would be good, and a bit of depth at the back as well.
 Harry Redknapp | Linked with every striker on the planet. |
Needs: Full-back, winger, keeper
Wants: Another striker to add to Harry’s collection
IN: Stewart Downing (Middlesbrough), Glen Johnson (Portsmouth), Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Real Madrid) OUT: David Bentley (Aston Villa), Darren Bent (Sunderland), Gareth Bale (Fulham), Roman Pavlyuchenko (Roma)
West Ham (08/09 Finish: 9th)
The Buzz: Gio Zola did wonders for West Ham last season. His elegant strategy made a man of Carlton Cole, and will likely improve his play further next season. The key for West Ham is depth, as they are thin everywhere.
Needs: Striker, midfielder, full back
Wants: Quality, smart footballers...just like the gaffer
IN: Daniel Sturridge (Manchester City), Rod Fanni (Rennes) OUT: Lucas Neil (Manchester City), Dean Ashton (Aston Villa)
Wigan Athletic (08/09 Finish: 11th)
The Buzz: Similar to the job that Zola did with the Hammers, Steve Bruce was an excellent boss for Wigan. Conceivably realizing he was the captain of a sinking ship, Bruce skipped town for Sunderland. Wigan will need some help all over the pitch to avoid the drop next year.
Needs: Striker, winger, center back
Wants: Some big time investors would be nice.
IN: Jermaine Pennant (Liverpool), Jeremie Aliadiere (Middlesbrough) OUT: Luis Antonio Valencia (Manchester United), Titus Bramble (Sunderland)
Wolverhampton (08/09 Finish: 1st in Championship)
The Buzz: Mick McCarthy led Wolves to a near perfect campaign in the Championship, and they’ll be coming up to the top flight with confidence. Some assurance along the backline would be nice, and maybe a midfield maestro to set the tone. Their top priority will be holding on to leading goal-getting Sylvain Ebanks-Blake.
Needs: Depth, attacking midfielder, centerback
Wants: Players to help them sweep both Birmingham derbies
IN: Oguchi Onewyu (Standard Liege), Nicky Butt (Newcastle), Nenad Milijas (Red Star Belgrade) OUT: Michael Kightly (Wigan) Sylvain Ebanks-Blake (Everton)
The Toast (as in Of The EPL):
Ronaldo, Manchester United: I knew it. I said it all along. His allegiance to Manchester United was nothing more than skin deep. That cheeky grin says it all. Have fun in Spain, Ronnie, I hope it’s all you dreamt it would be.
David Beckham, LA Galaxy: Apparently Golden Balls is planning his return to Europe before he’s even left, with an excursion in the EPL a possibility. Personally, it’d be strange to see Becks in anything but United red, but that’s just me. Hey, Sir Alex has a void on the right side now, maybe if nothing is solved in the summer, a January swoop for Beckham could be in order? Ha, in my dreams, right?
 Mike Ashley| Made millions on success of Star Wars |
Mike Ashley, Newcastle: He almost single-handedly sent Newcastle into the Championship. I’ve seen many poor owners in my days watching footy, but Ashley certainly takes the cake as the worst. And he looks like Jabba The Hut.
Leicester Update:
Things are a bit slow at Walkers Stadium lately. We’re waiting for some more fixtures to be released and some new players to come in, but for now, all is quiet. Not to worry though, the Foxes are on the rise, and come next season, the Championship is in for a rude awakening. Pearson's boys will mean business!
Philly Union Update:
A new section of TFE will feature my new favorite team, The Philadelphia Union, of everyone’s favorite league, MLS. Since becoming the “Union,” the team has taken all the right steps in building a successful franchise. Hiring Peter Nowak was a no-brainer and he’ll do wonders with an emerging team like this. All in all, should be a good start for anyone who follows footy in the Philly area.
And Finally...The Black Pudding Of The Week:
Florentino Perez, Real Madrid: This guy apparently thinks money grows on trees. €147.2 million in less than a week. Unbelievable. Check out my Goal.com Blog post for more on what I think about him, but to paraphrase...I think he’s crazy. If nothing else, Ronnie and Kaka on the same team will be fun to watch. Almost as fun as reading this column, that is.
Shane Evans is an Associate Editor of Goal.com. His feature, "The Full English" appears every Friday morning. Contact Shane at shane.evans@goal.com with questions, comments and concerns or follow him on Twitter.
For more news on England, visit Goal.com's England section!
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