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Fish & Chips Shots: Back To Normal In The EPL
In the first edition of his new column, "Fish & Chip Shots," Goal.com's Shane Evans takes a look back at the weekend that was in the EPL.
Jan 20, 2009 11:41:28 AM
By Shane Evans
You can all breathe a sigh of relief now. Things are the way they should be. Manchester United is back on top of the Premier League. Kaka is apparently staying at AC Milan, with his ‘replacement’ to enter Eastlands being Craig Bellamy. And to top it off, this witty journalist is back to writing more than one tour de force a week, successfully bringing me back to my college newspaper days. All is good in the world.
Today, as the entire world knows, President-elect Barack Obama gets sworn into office as the 44th president in US history. So what day better than today for me to start writing my second column, officially cementing my place among the Goal.com greats of yesteryear. I’m not going to say this column is more important than the inauguration, but its only a Rory Delap throw-in away.
The column, “Fish & Chip Shots,” as you all should know if you read last Friday’s edition of “The Full English” is the Ed McMahon of TFE. The Robin. The Dirk Kuyt, if you will. It’s the much-needed accompanying piece that makes the whole spectacle complete. Where would Johnny Carson be without good old Ed? Batman had his troubles without Robin, and certainly Liverpool have needed Kuyt’s unrelenting determination, whether they’ll admit it or not. The same can be said about TFE, despite all it’s glory and amazingly-accurate predictions, it simply needed the other half to help it reach it’s full potential.
And like a mysterious figure walking into an old western town from the distance, so enters FCS. Though slightly less structured and not quite as astounding as it’s older, wiser counterpart, FCS still brings much to the table. I know, I know, another pun. Let’s get this baby rolling.
For those of you who don’t know, this new column will be a review of the weekend’s EPL action, compared to the preview anomaly that is TFE. A more brash, informal look (wait, is that possible?) at the matchday that was in the world’s top flight top flight division. I’ll go over my unexplainably accurate predictions, who the top dogs of the week were, best teams, players, gaffes of the week and so on. Basically, whatever I see fit. It’s nice to have that kind of control, eh Barrack?
Obviously, I have to start with the Merseyside derby. The biggest game of the weekend, and for the most part it didn’t disappoint. Both teams went into the 209th derby playing well, as Liverpool had been top of the table for most of the season, and Everton had a 6-match unbeaten streak on the line. Well in the end, after a typically spirited 90 minutes, only one of those two previous statements remained true, Everton’s streak.
Earlier in the weekend Manchester United literally snatched the top spot from Liverpool after a last-gasp Dimi Berbatov goal secured the Red Devils win over Bolton. Everton’s Tim Cahill did his Berbatov impression in the derby netting a late equalizer which effectively kept United on top.
It was Steven Gerrard’s 250th game captaining the Reds and he marked it with a lovely goal, his 14th of the season. But Stevie G’s goal was the only thing that managed to crack a stingy Everton team, that was without it’s fluffy-haired holding midfielder Marouane Fellaini. One shocking Cahill goal later and the match ended 1-1, a result that is sure to have a resounding impact on the rest of the league.
The importance of the mental edge gained by Manchester United is hard to put into words. They basically stole the top spot in the league, and you have to wonder whether they’ll look back. Obviously, anything can happen in football, but Ferguson’s boys have a pretty light remaining schedule. Besides hosting Liverpool, Arsenal and Aston Villa at Old Trafford, the next toughest game for them would have to be Man City at home? It looks that way, as I browse over their remaining schedule. Every reasonably tough game they have left is at Old Trafford.
The schedule-makers must be friends of Sir Alex. No, I’m not taking Rafa’s side, I’m just saying that things look pretty good for the Champs right now? I counted them out earlier in the year, but just have steadily been getting better while the other big boys have sputtered.
As the title race gets tighter (both ManU and Liverpool both sit on 47 points at the top of the table), it’s the relegation battle that really intrigues me. After 6th place, the entire league is separated by a whopping 10 points. So from West Brom at the bottom, to West Ham in 8th, it’s only a matter of a few good (or bad) results in a row and the teams could swap places. That’s parity for you. The argument can be made that because the top of the league is in a league of it’s own, that there isn’t parity in the league at all, but when teams like Hull and Stoke can get points from some of the big boys, it’s hard to argue that there isn’t a strange equality brewing in England.
Blackburn blanks Newcastle 3-0, then West Brom does the same thing to Middlesbrough. In what was probably the game of the week, Stoke were 10 minutes away from taking the full three from Chelsea. It’s good to see that kind of thing. Makes my predictions more interesting, anyway.
Speaking of which, I’m going to start keeping track of them from here on out. Just for my own edification and so you the reader can see how well I’m doing, and subsequently berate me for it. Let’s look back to TFE and see how I did in the first food-related section of the new column:
Pickled Onions (ha, get it?):
I picked Liverpool, Manchester United, Wigan, and Tottenham to win. Well, it appears as though I only got one right, as ManU won. The others ended in draws and Man City finally got a win. Without bringing ties into things and making it all confusing, we’ll say I went 1-for-3 this week. Sounds fair to me. I’m batting over .300, Hall of Fame numbers!
Overall: 1-for-3
After my little weekend review and a quick update on my predictions we'll get into the second and last food-titled section of the column, for now anyway. It’s called “Mushy Peas” after the delightful fish and chips side that I simply must have whenever I venture to a local chippy in England. Just some quips about what’s going on in the league, players who played well, those who didn’t, and the gaffe of the week. Let’s do this.
Mushy Peas:
Kaka isn’t coming to England. I’m more upset than I should be, because honestly, the move didn’t make sense. Yes, he’s one of the best players in the world, but it just didn’t seem moral. Anyone with me on that? He belongs in a Milan shirt, or even a Real Madrid one down the line, but certainly not in baby blue. So who is coming to the Premier League? Andrei Arshavin? I hope not. What a waste of money he’ll be. Adriano? That could be interesting, except Spurs already have three top drawer strikers. Spend wisely, Harry.
All I know is that if people think the sporting culture is getting out of hand in this country (see the New York Yankees 2009 payroll), you just have to look over the pond to realize how ridiculous things are getting. Since Kaka’s flirtation with Man City, Juventus and Bayern Munich have put €120 and €150 million price tags on star players Alessandro Del Piero and Franck Ribery, respectively. Who’s next? My guess is Chelsea will say Didier Drogba is worth €100-plus million, but sell him for €20 million, a pack of crisps, and a huge bottle of aspirin to cure all the headaches he’s caused.
Player Of The Week: Jermain Defoe, Tottenham
The diminutive striker made his return for Spurs and scored the game-tying goal in the 70th minute. He looked dangerous the entire game, and probably should have bagged at least oone more.
Honorable mention: Frank Lampard, Chelsea, Samir Nasri, Arsenal.
Not-so-player(s) Of The Week: Wigan Athletic
The upstart side managed to take 22 shots against Manchester City. Only three made it on target, none of which crossed the goal line. I was hoping they’d win this one, but they seem to lack that finishing touch that is oh-so-vital in this league. Give it time, they’re learning.
Gaffe Of The Week: Darren Bent, Tottenham
Did anyone see the sitter that Bent missed on Sunday? I mean, you all should know how much I love Bent by now, but I think I could have scored on that header. A lovely David Bentley cross across the face of goal to a wide open Bent and the striker put it wide of the post. It looked like he had too much time to think about it. Not only would it have helped Tottenham to a big comeback win, it would have meant I got another prediction right! It’s ok though, Bent won’t let it happen again.
Game Of The Week: Chelsea v. Stoke
That win saved their season. Period. Not to mention Big Phil’s job.
...And there you have it, folks. The first Fish & Chip Shots ever. I hope you liked it. The format will be similar in the weeks ahead, with more or less being added, depending on my mood. Suggestions via email or the comment section are welcomed, actually they are encouraged, as I want you all to read and enjoy what I put out there. Also, check out the forums to debate all things footy!
Shane Evans is an associate editor of Goal.com. His new feature “Fish & Chip Shots” appears every Tuesday afternoon.
You can all breathe a sigh of relief now. Things are the way they should be. Manchester United is back on top of the Premier League. Kaka is apparently staying at AC Milan, with his ‘replacement’ to enter Eastlands being Craig Bellamy. And to top it off, this witty journalist is back to writing more than one tour de force a week, successfully bringing me back to my college newspaper days. All is good in the world.
Today, as the entire world knows, President-elect Barack Obama gets sworn into office as the 44th president in US history. So what day better than today for me to start writing my second column, officially cementing my place among the Goal.com greats of yesteryear. I’m not going to say this column is more important than the inauguration, but its only a Rory Delap throw-in away.
The column, “Fish & Chip Shots,” as you all should know if you read last Friday’s edition of “The Full English” is the Ed McMahon of TFE. The Robin. The Dirk Kuyt, if you will. It’s the much-needed accompanying piece that makes the whole spectacle complete. Where would Johnny Carson be without good old Ed? Batman had his troubles without Robin, and certainly Liverpool have needed Kuyt’s unrelenting determination, whether they’ll admit it or not. The same can be said about TFE, despite all it’s glory and amazingly-accurate predictions, it simply needed the other half to help it reach it’s full potential.
And like a mysterious figure walking into an old western town from the distance, so enters FCS. Though slightly less structured and not quite as astounding as it’s older, wiser counterpart, FCS still brings much to the table. I know, I know, another pun. Let’s get this baby rolling.
For those of you who don’t know, this new column will be a review of the weekend’s EPL action, compared to the preview anomaly that is TFE. A more brash, informal look (wait, is that possible?) at the matchday that was in the world’s top flight top flight division. I’ll go over my unexplainably accurate predictions, who the top dogs of the week were, best teams, players, gaffes of the week and so on. Basically, whatever I see fit. It’s nice to have that kind of control, eh Barrack?
Obviously, I have to start with the Merseyside derby. The biggest game of the weekend, and for the most part it didn’t disappoint. Both teams went into the 209th derby playing well, as Liverpool had been top of the table for most of the season, and Everton had a 6-match unbeaten streak on the line. Well in the end, after a typically spirited 90 minutes, only one of those two previous statements remained true, Everton’s streak.
Earlier in the weekend Manchester United literally snatched the top spot from Liverpool after a last-gasp Dimi Berbatov goal secured the Red Devils win over Bolton. Everton’s Tim Cahill did his Berbatov impression in the derby netting a late equalizer which effectively kept United on top.
It was Steven Gerrard’s 250th game captaining the Reds and he marked it with a lovely goal, his 14th of the season. But Stevie G’s goal was the only thing that managed to crack a stingy Everton team, that was without it’s fluffy-haired holding midfielder Marouane Fellaini. One shocking Cahill goal later and the match ended 1-1, a result that is sure to have a resounding impact on the rest of the league.
The importance of the mental edge gained by Manchester United is hard to put into words. They basically stole the top spot in the league, and you have to wonder whether they’ll look back. Obviously, anything can happen in football, but Ferguson’s boys have a pretty light remaining schedule. Besides hosting Liverpool, Arsenal and Aston Villa at Old Trafford, the next toughest game for them would have to be Man City at home? It looks that way, as I browse over their remaining schedule. Every reasonably tough game they have left is at Old Trafford.
The schedule-makers must be friends of Sir Alex. No, I’m not taking Rafa’s side, I’m just saying that things look pretty good for the Champs right now? I counted them out earlier in the year, but just have steadily been getting better while the other big boys have sputtered.
As the title race gets tighter (both ManU and Liverpool both sit on 47 points at the top of the table), it’s the relegation battle that really intrigues me. After 6th place, the entire league is separated by a whopping 10 points. So from West Brom at the bottom, to West Ham in 8th, it’s only a matter of a few good (or bad) results in a row and the teams could swap places. That’s parity for you. The argument can be made that because the top of the league is in a league of it’s own, that there isn’t parity in the league at all, but when teams like Hull and Stoke can get points from some of the big boys, it’s hard to argue that there isn’t a strange equality brewing in England.
Blackburn blanks Newcastle 3-0, then West Brom does the same thing to Middlesbrough. In what was probably the game of the week, Stoke were 10 minutes away from taking the full three from Chelsea. It’s good to see that kind of thing. Makes my predictions more interesting, anyway.
Speaking of which, I’m going to start keeping track of them from here on out. Just for my own edification and so you the reader can see how well I’m doing, and subsequently berate me for it. Let’s look back to TFE and see how I did in the first food-related section of the new column:
Pickled Onions (ha, get it?):
I picked Liverpool, Manchester United, Wigan, and Tottenham to win. Well, it appears as though I only got one right, as ManU won. The others ended in draws and Man City finally got a win. Without bringing ties into things and making it all confusing, we’ll say I went 1-for-3 this week. Sounds fair to me. I’m batting over .300, Hall of Fame numbers!
Overall: 1-for-3
After my little weekend review and a quick update on my predictions we'll get into the second and last food-titled section of the column, for now anyway. It’s called “Mushy Peas” after the delightful fish and chips side that I simply must have whenever I venture to a local chippy in England. Just some quips about what’s going on in the league, players who played well, those who didn’t, and the gaffe of the week. Let’s do this.
Mushy Peas:
Kaka isn’t coming to England. I’m more upset than I should be, because honestly, the move didn’t make sense. Yes, he’s one of the best players in the world, but it just didn’t seem moral. Anyone with me on that? He belongs in a Milan shirt, or even a Real Madrid one down the line, but certainly not in baby blue. So who is coming to the Premier League? Andrei Arshavin? I hope not. What a waste of money he’ll be. Adriano? That could be interesting, except Spurs already have three top drawer strikers. Spend wisely, Harry.
All I know is that if people think the sporting culture is getting out of hand in this country (see the New York Yankees 2009 payroll), you just have to look over the pond to realize how ridiculous things are getting. Since Kaka’s flirtation with Man City, Juventus and Bayern Munich have put €120 and €150 million price tags on star players Alessandro Del Piero and Franck Ribery, respectively. Who’s next? My guess is Chelsea will say Didier Drogba is worth €100-plus million, but sell him for €20 million, a pack of crisps, and a huge bottle of aspirin to cure all the headaches he’s caused.
Player Of The Week: Jermain Defoe, Tottenham
The diminutive striker made his return for Spurs and scored the game-tying goal in the 70th minute. He looked dangerous the entire game, and probably should have bagged at least oone more.
Honorable mention: Frank Lampard, Chelsea, Samir Nasri, Arsenal.
Not-so-player(s) Of The Week: Wigan Athletic
The upstart side managed to take 22 shots against Manchester City. Only three made it on target, none of which crossed the goal line. I was hoping they’d win this one, but they seem to lack that finishing touch that is oh-so-vital in this league. Give it time, they’re learning.
Gaffe Of The Week: Darren Bent, Tottenham
Did anyone see the sitter that Bent missed on Sunday? I mean, you all should know how much I love Bent by now, but I think I could have scored on that header. A lovely David Bentley cross across the face of goal to a wide open Bent and the striker put it wide of the post. It looked like he had too much time to think about it. Not only would it have helped Tottenham to a big comeback win, it would have meant I got another prediction right! It’s ok though, Bent won’t let it happen again.
Game Of The Week: Chelsea v. Stoke
That win saved their season. Period. Not to mention Big Phil’s job.
...And there you have it, folks. The first Fish & Chip Shots ever. I hope you liked it. The format will be similar in the weeks ahead, with more or less being added, depending on my mood. Suggestions via email or the comment section are welcomed, actually they are encouraged, as I want you all to read and enjoy what I put out there. Also, check out the forums to debate all things footy!
Shane Evans is an associate editor of Goal.com. His new feature “Fish & Chip Shots” appears every Tuesday afternoon.
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