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The Bard: Karen Bardsley Talks Airplane Entertainment
In an exclusive column on Goal.com, Sky Blue FC goalkeeper Karen Bardsley tells a tale of Women's Professional Soccer players and the never-ending saga of airport travel.
May 14, 2009 7:08:17 PM
Right, so, ever wonder what teams do whilst traveling?! Please, let me enlighten you. During a brief stint in Indiana following the Chicago fixture in mid-April, we were finally headed home to New Jersey. As many of you know airports and airplanes rarely are “fun.” And until we reached our gate this particular experience was proving to be no exception.
As Sky Blue FC (that’s us) sat in the airport, the calm voice of the Continental Airlines representative flooded the terminal, "Continental Flight (blah, blah, blah) experienced delays upon take-off." En masse, a groan billowed from the group and everyone shifted restlessly in her seat. After running out of walrus jokes and room in our bellies for expensive coffee, silly games seemed the next logical step.
I grabbed some athletic tape, and a Sharpie from my bag o' tricks, wrote "Zebra" on it and placed it ever so gently on Natasha Kai's forehead. She wrote "hippo" on mine and so on and so forth. (Point being, we couldn't see what was written on the tape.) I went on to ask yes or no questions about what I suspected was on my forehead.
I asked, “Does it live in water?” When my teammates said, “Yes,” I immediately thought it was a fish and I could not get beyond it. Interest quickly grew amongst the team. Simultaneously, an announcement was made by the same lovely Continental Rep. that we were to board the tiny double prop plane with 20 rows of three seats, one on the left, and two on the right. Immediately! We received a lot of strange looks from passers-by as we scuttled down the tunnel and onto the plane. And that’s where we met Lois* - our flight attendant for the afternoon.
As we took our seats, we were told yet again that we were delayed. While we sat in the queue on the tarmac suddenly everyone on the plane had one mission in life: to get Lois to play the game with the team. After a great deal of persuasion (obviously we succeeded or this story would end abruptly here.) Lois was dubbed "Hilary Clinton." "Mrs. Clinton" proceeded to ask yes or no questions about the large, quickly scribbled on piece of tape across her back. She wouldn't play if it was on her forehead. Literally the entire plane played along, shouting "YES!" or "NOOOO!" in reply to her questions.
She asked: “Am I a Man or a Woman?”
“Am I in movies?”
“Am I singer?”
“Am I attractive?”
(I’ll let you; the readers decide the answers for yourself.)
Anyway, Lois stood in the aisle with a perplexed look upon her face for a few minutes and suddenly it dawned on her. “Am I Hilary Clinton!?” she exclaimed! We all just about wet ourselves as everyone on the plane burst into laughter, followed by thunderous applause. The game continued through out the flight with categories varying from types of food to celebrity children…(I know, I know.) All in all that was by far the most entertaining airport/airplane experience to date.
Please keep in mind the nearest emergency exit may be behind you.
Until next week,
Karen, AKA Russell Crowe
*The name may or may not have been changed to protect the parties involved.
Karen Bardsley is a goalkeeper for WPS side Sky Blue FC, who play at Los Angeles Sol Friday, May 15. The game can be seen on NBC Universal Sports. Her column, “The Bard,” appears weekly on Goal.com.
For more on Women's Professional Soccer, go to Goal.com's Women's Soccer page.
As Sky Blue FC (that’s us) sat in the airport, the calm voice of the Continental Airlines representative flooded the terminal, "Continental Flight (blah, blah, blah) experienced delays upon take-off." En masse, a groan billowed from the group and everyone shifted restlessly in her seat. After running out of walrus jokes and room in our bellies for expensive coffee, silly games seemed the next logical step.
I grabbed some athletic tape, and a Sharpie from my bag o' tricks, wrote "Zebra" on it and placed it ever so gently on Natasha Kai's forehead. She wrote "hippo" on mine and so on and so forth. (Point being, we couldn't see what was written on the tape.) I went on to ask yes or no questions about what I suspected was on my forehead.
I asked, “Does it live in water?” When my teammates said, “Yes,” I immediately thought it was a fish and I could not get beyond it. Interest quickly grew amongst the team. Simultaneously, an announcement was made by the same lovely Continental Rep. that we were to board the tiny double prop plane with 20 rows of three seats, one on the left, and two on the right. Immediately! We received a lot of strange looks from passers-by as we scuttled down the tunnel and onto the plane. And that’s where we met Lois* - our flight attendant for the afternoon.
As we took our seats, we were told yet again that we were delayed. While we sat in the queue on the tarmac suddenly everyone on the plane had one mission in life: to get Lois to play the game with the team. After a great deal of persuasion (obviously we succeeded or this story would end abruptly here.) Lois was dubbed "Hilary Clinton." "Mrs. Clinton" proceeded to ask yes or no questions about the large, quickly scribbled on piece of tape across her back. She wouldn't play if it was on her forehead. Literally the entire plane played along, shouting "YES!" or "NOOOO!" in reply to her questions.
She asked: “Am I a Man or a Woman?”
“Am I in movies?”
“Am I singer?”
“Am I attractive?”
(I’ll let you; the readers decide the answers for yourself.)
Anyway, Lois stood in the aisle with a perplexed look upon her face for a few minutes and suddenly it dawned on her. “Am I Hilary Clinton!?” she exclaimed! We all just about wet ourselves as everyone on the plane burst into laughter, followed by thunderous applause. The game continued through out the flight with categories varying from types of food to celebrity children…(I know, I know.) All in all that was by far the most entertaining airport/airplane experience to date.
Please keep in mind the nearest emergency exit may be behind you.
Until next week,
Karen, AKA Russell Crowe
*The name may or may not have been changed to protect the parties involved.
Karen Bardsley is a goalkeeper for WPS side Sky Blue FC, who play at Los Angeles Sol Friday, May 15. The game can be seen on NBC Universal Sports. Her column, “The Bard,” appears weekly on Goal.com.
For more on Women's Professional Soccer, go to Goal.com's Women's Soccer page.
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