Friday MLS Forecast: Week Five

By Kyle McCarthy

Random links and press releases end up in my e-mail on a daily basis. Such is life when you tag every piece you write on the Internet with your e-mail address.

(Note: I distinguish this Internet flotsam from reader e-mails, which I encourage and read. As those who correspond with me know, I almost always reply to these e-mails. Often more than once.)

These offerings entice me occasionally. Like the e-mail I got from a press agent earlier this week touting Grant Wahl's upcoming book. It's called “The Beckham Experiment: How the World's Most Famous Athlete Tried to Conquer America” and yes, you can pre-order it on Amazon. If the cool title wasn't enough, there's a good chance this book will cross over into the mainstream because it will be that explosive and that ridiculous. Needless to say, I can't wait for its release on July 14.

Other times, links amuse me. Like the one sending me to the recent Cosmo Girl feature about “some serious soccer hotties.” Give credit to Cosmo Girl. They raise difficult questions. Does Danny Cepero kiss on the first date? What does Sacha Kljestan want in his next girlfriend? Does Robbie Rogers actually believe the three F's that best describe him are “fun, friendly and fysical”?

And every once in a while, a link leaves me speechless. The credit for accomplishing this particularly difficult task goes to SeattlePI.com, which decided to run a feature on Seattle's retired underwear model and current Designated Player Freddie Ljungberg. The cheekily written feature probably raised the site's female readership by at least a few as it rattled off the list of awards the Swede garnered solely because, in the words of fellow male model Derek Zoolander, he is really, really, really good looking.

To support his conclusion that Ljungberg is all that is man but with a softer side, the reporter dug out an old Freddie quote from the Evening Standard on his preference for pre-match abstinence.

“I feel like girls are going to make me lose my concentration before a game,” Ljungberg said. “I want to keep the feeling in my feet. It sort of disappears if you have sex before a match. I've tried it and my feet feel like concrete when I was supposed to kick the ball. After the game though, well, that's different.”

Let's see Cosmo Girl break out that question (or a study to prove or disprove Ljungberg's thesis) in next year's MLS feature. While you wait with bated breath for those answers, the Forecast is here to help fill the void.

Friday

New England @ D.C. United – 7:00p.m. (ESPN2)

I'm currently sitting in a basement in northwest D.C. hacking out this preview in anticipation of tonight's contest. And I have no idea what to say about United right now. Are they good? Are they bad? Are they just mediocre? I'm not sure anyone knows at this point. United has dominated the Revs at R.F.K. Stadium in this series (16-6-3), but New England will be boosted by the return of Steve Ralston to the starting lineup. Let's call it a draw and hope to find out more about United in the process.

Prediction: Draw.

Saturday

Real Salt Lake @ New York – 7:30p.m.

Interesting clash of styles here. The Red Bulls want to get the ball wide quickly and use their pace. Real Salt Lake wants to funnel play through Javier Morales in its narrow midfield diamond. Watch out for the impact of the quick Giants Stadium surface on this contest and the boost Jon Conway provides with his comparatively stable hands in the Red Bulls nets. Real Salt Lake is a better team, but New York has enough to grind out a point.

Prediction: Draw.

Kansas City @ Chicago – 8:30p.m. (Fox Soccer Channel)

After the first four weeks of the season, we've established that Marco Pappa deserves a run in the Fire side. So what does that do to the medium-term futures of Cuauhtemoc Blanco (assist) and Chris Rolfe (game-tying goal) after their second-half performances in San Jose last week? It's always fun to look at the Fire teamsheet these days. Assuming Chicago has looked at some game tape and knows that someone needs to close down Davy Arnaud at all times, the Fire should take all three points if history is a reliable indicator (13-2-1 against the Wizards in the Windy City).

Prediction: Chicago win.

Los Angeles @ San Jose – 10:30p.m.

A passionate former Galaxy season ticket holder frustrated with the team sent me a long e-mail earlier this week arguing that I cut Bruce Arena too much slack in my Monday column. Basically, he wondered whether the American soccer media gives Arena too much credit and too much cushion. I would say that the Galaxy deserves little credit for its performances so far this season, but needs some time to find some semblance of stability. They are trying to build something in San Jose, but I bet Frank Yallop didn't think it would include a $222,000 left back. The Quakes are hit or miss offensively, but there's a good chance they will be on for this I-5 derby.

Prediction: San Jose win.

Seattle @ Chivas USA – 10:30p.m.

Raise your hands if you expected this would end up as a top of the Western Conference clash. Ok, you liars. Put your hands down. This match should entertain regardless of your truthfulness in answering that question. It will be interesting to see what, if any, impact Kasey Keller's absence will have on Seattle's stingy defense. Paulo Nagamura's suspension takes some of the bite out of the Chivas USA midfield, too. One little tidbit to watch: will Sacha Kljestan stay out on the right wing more often than usual in order to attack Seattle left back Zach Scott? A loss to dampen expectations might not be a bad thing for the high-flying Sounders.

Prediction: Chivas USA win.

Sunday

Colorado @ Houston – 3:00p.m. (Telefutura)

Colorado faces a similar task to the one it passed last weekend in Columbus: steal a point on the road against a good, but struggling, team. Given Houston's offensive power outage (three goals in four games and no goals in its last 234 minutes played), one Conor Casey goal might be enough to earn the Rapids a point. On the other hand, Colorado is 0-3-1 all-time at Robertson Stadium and the Dynamo really needs to win to kickstart its campaign.

Prediction: Houston win.

Toronto FC @ FC Dallas – 7:00p.m.

The schedule maker took mercy on us all and got rid of the less than enticing TFC-FCD series in two consecutive April weekends. The first leg wasn't particularly memorable except for Pablo Ricchetti's late back heel to earn the Hoops a point. The second leg probably won't be much more interesting. Neither team is in particularly stirring form at the moment and Dwayne De Rosario – the most explosive force for either team – has a balky hamstring. Sounds like even honors to me.

Prediction: Draw.

Kyle McCarthy writes the Monday MLS Breakdown and frequently writes opinion pieces during the week for Goal.com. He also covers the New England Revolution for the Boston Herald and MLSnet.com. Contact him with your questions or comments at kyle.mccarthy@goal.com.