Dax McCarty Blog: Being an armchair analyst

In his latest blog for Goal.com, New York Red Bulls midfielder Dax McCarty jotted down his insights of his team's latest win while sitting on his comfortable coach at home.
Welcome back loyal readers!!

You want to know a certainty in life? Injuries will always suck.

It doesn't matter how you slice it. I have been injured for the past two weeks and it has felt like an eternity. I can't even imagine how my teammate Ryan Meara has felt the past 10 months. He had double hip surgery and is just now getting back into the swing of things. I'm very happy for him because he has come a long way. Also, there is no truth to the rumor that him dancing to Shakira's "My Hips Don't Lie" was a part of his rehab program (don't worry Ryan, I got you covered).

Anyways, I haven't been injured since I have been on the Red Bulls so having to watch games from the sidelines is something that I am not accustomed to, nor is it something that I want to get familiar with. That's why my life these past two weeks has consisted of lots of R&R: rest and rehab. The only good thing to come out of my injury situation is the fact that you get to read my incredibly insightful commentary on our game from Sunday against the Columbus Crew.

My pain is your gain, kind of.

Here's a look back at the game from my perspective as I watched from home:

Here I am again, sitting on my couch about to watch us take on the Columbus Crew. Same exact place that I was sitting while I was watching Manchester United win their 20th title. Lets hope this is my lucky spot and we come away with a positive result in a very tough place to play.

Good to see Crew Stadium still standing after last weeks scoreboard fire scare. Crew Stadium is a bit of a landmark for MLS in a way. In case you are a new MLS fan or an old MLS fan that has been living in a cave the past 14 years, it is the first Soccer Specific Stadium built in the US (1999 to be exact). In other words, it is a dinosaur. If Red Bull Arena was an Ipod, Crew Stadium would be a Walkman.

You certainly wouldn't be faulted for mistaking it for a high school football (the pigskin kind) stadium in Texas with the amount of bleachers it is blessed with. Even though I am making fun of it for its old age, I know that MLS wouldn't be what it is today if it wasn't for the old fella.

Opening Kickoff: And we're off. Kickoff has confirmed to me what I already knew to be true: I hate watching our games from my couch.

20th minute: A few half chances for the Crew. They certainly look most dangerous on set pieces and when you have Federico Higuain serving the ball to Chad Marshall, that seems pretty reasonable. We're still trying to find our rhythm which isn't surprising, the Crew are always tough at home.

30th minute: Arlo White has a really soothing voice. If I had a voice in my head constantly narrating my life, my top choices would be Morgan Freeman first, and then Arlo right after that.

36th minute: Thierry is not happy with the referee. He just got a foul called in his favor and still did the famous "Thierry Henry glare" at the ref. He does that to me every now and then when I don't pass him the ball. I still have nightmares.

39th minute: Best and only chance of the half so far for us falls to Timmy Cahill on the top of the box. Literally a carbon copy of the first goal he scored in Toronto last week, just on the opposite side. Maybe his left foot is better than his right even though hes right footed. I'll have to ask him about that.

Halftime thoughts: Both teams look organized defensively. We have done well to weather the storm and not concede. The midfield is a battle and it is where the game will be won in the second half. It looks like Kyle Martino uses really strong hair gel.

Roy Miller is wearing a wrap on his hand. The reason for this is because he had an unfortunate incident that occurred in the kitchen this past week. He accidentally cut himself with a knife while attempting to carve out a coconut. I can't make this stuff up!! It is also important to note that since he has gotten back into the team after his little hiccup in San Jose, Roy has been one of our best players on the field in each of the past four games. Full credit to him for showing tremendous character and coming back stronger. Now, just stay out of the kitchen and away from sharp objects Roy!

50th minute: Arrietta channels his inner Russ Tyler from Mighty Ducks and blasts a knuckler at goal. Luis Robles makes a very good save to keep us in the game. Still scoreless.

55th minute: I still hate watching our games from my couch. Did I mention that yet?

56th minute: I moved to my roommates couch. Same effect. Still miserable.

64th minute: Heath Pearce in for Roy Miller. That's 35 or so caps for the full U.S. men's national team coming on. Talk about depth.

67th minute: Great chance for Fabi Espindola. Henry finds him on the left side of the box after an absurd cut back that leaves three Crew players looking for their shorts. Unfortunately, his shot goes straight at Gruenebaum.

70th minute: PK for the Crew... Eddie Gaven - who is the Doogie Howser of MLS in case you didn't know - with a very clever play in the box to draw it on Brandon Barklage. SAVEEEEE!!! Brilliant by Luis. Barks will certainly be buying him a steak dinner next week.

80th minute: GOALLLL!! Tim Cahill. Without a doubt against the run of play, but guess what? I don't care. Looks like he really likes scoring goals when I don't play. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.... Let's close up shop and get these three points.

Full Time: Game. Set. Match: Three points on the road. It was ugly but a wise man once said, "A win is a win is a win." I think. Who cares, we're in first place and hitting form at a great time. Hopefully next week I won't be watching from my stupid couch. Fingers crossed.

Until next time loyal readers! Take care.