The major news of the day is that Eden Hazard is set to end his continual teasing and sign on the dotted line for Chelsea, after they beat off competition from both Manchester City and Manchester United, and none other than Louis Saha was first with the scoop.
Elsewhere, John Ruddy updates us on the broken finger than ruled him out of Euro 2012, Rio Ferdinand lambasts the technical deficiencies of the nation's youth setup, Charlie Adam hits back at recent newspaper reports, Fraizer Campbell praises Jaap Stam and Kyle Walker wishes himself happy birthday. Aww.
Anyway, without any further ado, we bring you Twitter's finest gifts from Monday...
"good afternoon guys. i made up my mind. see you later. thanks"
Everyone's favourite tease, Lille's Eden Hazard confirms to the world, at the hundredth time of asking, that he has finally made up his mind on his preferred choice of destination.
"Apparently on his way to Chelseafc"
Tottenham striker Louis Saha has laid his cards on the table, stating that he's heard Hazard is on his way to Stamford Bridge.
"What a beautiful day, hope it’s like this on Saturday! Off to the hand & finger specialist today let’s see what they’ve got to say!"
Norwich goalkeeper John Ruddy, who injured himself on international duty in preparation for Euro 2012, updates us on his broken fingers. Fingers crossed John! Oh, erm...
"FA coaching courses need a right old shake up in my humble opinion if we are to move forward...some real good bits but some ancient bits too"
Manchester United centre back Rio Ferdinand believes that the FA need to take a long and hard look at their coaching structure if the national side are to bridge the gap with the likes of Spain and Germany in the future.
"Thanks to everyone for my birthday tweets. 22 today #happybirthdaytome"
Tottenham right back Kyle Walker kicks off his birthday celebrations by wishing himself happy birthday. Odd kid.
"Typical of the scottish newspapers blowing everything out of proportion."
Liverpool midfielder Charlie Adam responds to the furore surrounding his comments that he was surprised that Kenny Dalglish was sacked as manager of the Merseyside outfit.
"Any chance of some sun in birmingham. Much warmer in Glasgow. Get me back there!"
West Brom midfielder and Scottish international Graham Dorrans fancies swapping Birmingham for the sunnier climes of, erm, Scotland. It truly is a day of firsts.
"Had a good time at #SoccerAid last night an met some cool characters. Jaap stam wasn't messing about btw! Had some real crunching tackles!!"
Sunderland forward Fraizer Campbell confesses that he was impressed with former Manchester United defender Jaap Stam at the charity football event.