Even the Manchester City kitman would have earned you a couple of points this week as Manuel Pellegrini's men demolished the hapless Norwich City 7-0 at the Etihad Stadium. The hosts spread the goals and assists right around their squad so it is difficult to find standouts but, yet again, Sergio Aguero (10.5) was the big winner.
Now up to 59 points for the season as a whole, the Argentine sensation scored one and assisted two more as he racked up 12 points. We recommended him as your pick for captain in our Gameweek 10 preview – hopefully you took our advice.
Down in London, City's rivals, Manchester United, also had something of a field day as they effectively routed Fulham within the first 22 minutes. Robin van Persie (13) and Wayne Rooney (8.5) each took a goal and an assist in the process and, despite the latter's own goal, both brought home a more-than-solid nine points.
As ever, there was value to be found at the back and our tip for a cheap success, Winston Reid (4), delivered another clean sheet and six points with it. For a little more money, of course, some went even better.
West Brom's Gareth McAuley (5) bagged 12 points for his strike in a 2-0 downing of Crystal Palace while Steven Caulker (4.5) made the difference in the Welsh derby as his header saw Cardiff City come through as winners. Both rewards for discerning fantasy managers.
One thing for which nobody was prepared, however, was Stoke City's new joint-top scorer. Costel Pantilimon (4) may have been the value pick in goal this week but Asmir Begovic (5) went two points better as his fluke goal 12 seconds into the Potters' draw with Southampton saw him take the cake.
|GAMEWEEK 9 DREAM TEAM
It's not hard to know where to start as regards who had a poor week. We warned you to bench Sebastien Bassong (4.5) before Norwich visited Man City and, along with his Canaries colleagues, the Cameroonian had a nightmare. He and several others all set you back by -1 – and centre-back partner Michael Turner (4.5) even went one worse.
Where Norwich were hopeless, Sunderland were monumentally silly. Maybe you felt like taking a chance on Lee Cattermole (4) reforming from his bad-boy ways but, one red card and -2 points later, your lesson is probably now learned. And if you'd turned to his cheap colleague Andrea Dossena (4) instead, you got exactly the same.
There were surprises across the back as one of fantasy football's best buys of the season, Dejan Lovren (4) of Southampton, paid the price for that extraordinary Begovic goal and collected only one point after a yellow card. Of the more established names, it was a bad day to be Chelsea's David Luiz (6), who played the whole match and got booked for his trouble as Newcastle shocked the Blues with a 2-0 win.
Another go-to in this year's fantasy game has been Chelsea loanee Romelu Lukaku (7.5). Many fancied the Belgian to shock Tottenham when they visited Everton but a solid defensive performance from Spurs vexed him and, with only one point to his name, he was substituted late on after hurting his knee in a collision with Hugo Lloris's head.
Aside from the afore-mentioned Cattermole and Dossena, the only other fresh suspension to mention is one that could well affect your team. If you are one of the 7.91 per cent of players with Swansea City's Michel Vorm (4.5) between the sticks, make sure to switch him out after his late red card against Cardiff.
It was a tough week for Swansea as, as well as their derby defeat, Michu (8.5) suffered an ankle injury and the Spaniard is set to miss "a couple of games", according to Michael Laudrup. Just under a quarter of players will have to change their plans.
As well as a rib injury to Crystal Palace's Adlene Guedioura (4.5), with test results to come, there was chaos on the sidelines for Manchester United as no fewer than four players were in the wars against Fulham.
Tom Cleverley (5.5), Rafael (5.5) and Jonny Evans (5) all had to be withdrawn during the game with various injuries, while Patrice Evra (6.5) suffered a knock. Make sure to check with Goal for the latest during the week as the medical team evaluate all four before you decide whether or not to bench them for the next round.
Sign up to Goal's Premier League Fantasy Football competition for the chance to win monthly prizes. It is simple and fast to register and pick your team, so you can start competing against friends or colleagues for the ultimate bragging rights!