Gary Lineker nearly does a Paul Scholes by leaving his keys in his car, while Robbie Savage reveals that he is finally giving his lengthy locks a much-needed trim
Of course, not everyone is caught up in reality, with diving fans, almost-stolen cars and long-overdue haircuts also on the agenda on Twitter.
Find all this and more in Tuesday's edition of Word on the Tweet...
"What is going on at Nottingham Forest?"
West Brom defender Steven Reid puts it more politely than many Forest fans.
"Said all along Forest need Forest people around club/managing. In absence of common sense though, Nigel Adkins gets my vote."
Does club legend Stan Collymore quite know what he's suggesting with "Forest people"? Job's probably yours if you fancy it, though, Stan.
"Just seen the fan that jumped on the keeper. That's crazy. Has someone got to get seriously hurt with a weapon before something is done?"
Sunderland clanger-dropper Titus Bramble slams the behaviour of a 17-year-old Gillingham fan who performed an odd tribute to Tom Daley in the direction of Wycombe goalkeeper Jordan Archer. (Seriously, though, it was sort of funny.)
"I'm such a dope at times. Parked car, paid for parking, went to meeting, returned 2 hours later, keys in, engine running... Warm though."
And Gary Lineker catches a case of Paul Scholes-itis. For the non-millionaires amongst us, this might be a slightly more harrowing experience.
"I'm in shock and worried about the clean game hope its not true how can you fixe a football game."
QPR defender Christopher Samba, a man earning £100,000 per week at a club with a 17,000-capacity stadium, is concerned about the way in which the modern game is going.
"Thank u 2all BRFC fans 4there nice tweets, I'll b doing my Very best 2 repay u all with the Goals 2help get bk 2the prem!!! God bless u all."
DJ Campbell is thankful for the welcome from Birmingham City fans. Best not mention the tweets that Hull City fans are sending since your last-minute change of heart, DJ.
"Well decision made 15th feb .... The ponytail is going, short back and sides for savage !!"
GOOD NEWS! Robbie Savage has finally vowed to get rid of his woeful barnet. Perhaps his punditry will be next.
"Sick of trying"
Part-time Newcastle United stiker and full-time nutter Nile Ranger is tired of... something. Learning French perhaps?