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Calcio Comedy: Ranieri And Mourinho Arrested After Restaurant Brawl
What should have been a tasty treat has ended up in a nasty feat, leaving both coaches red faced and, just like the beer, bitter...
07-Jan-2009 11:56:25 PM
Inter coach Jose Mourinho and Juventus tinkerman Claudio Ranieri have spent the night in the cell of a Milanese police station after a squabble between the duo escalated into violence - leaving ‘Galliani’s’, a popular Italian restaurant, to pick up the pieces and count the costs.
After months and years of sour words between both men, a truce had been called. Ranieri accepted Mourinho’s dinner invitation and a time and date was set in order to clear the air and start the new year healthily, positively and, just like ‘Galliani’s’ cellar, full of good spirits.
The duo chose the neutral, but exciting venue in the centre of Milan where good food is hard to find and the staff is rarely kind. Both men were greeted by Adriano Galliani, the owner. Naturally he was all smiles and eager to get his hands on some cash.
Table 27 was chosen even though Ranieri had asked for 29. Nevertheless, things progressed well and the drinks began to arrive. Mourinho sipped his way through a pint of ‘Becks’ while Ranieri enjoyed a glass of ‘red Rino’.
Along with the drinks came the food - the Inter chief was hungry and ordered ‘Pato the duck’, while his guest chose ‘Chicken Berlusconi’. Both men exchanged a few words as onlookers and fans posed for photos. The table was soon full of cheese - the waiters kept bringing the stuff out every time a picture was taken.
It was soon time to go. Ranieri and his Inter friend were happy, satisfied and full, but this all changed when the bill arrived.
Galliani set the price but Mou seemed reluctant to pay. “Anything else sir?” said the owner.
“Yeah, Ronaldinho would be nice,” replied the Special One.
The bald-headed man scoffed: “’Dinho? He’s only available on Sunday’s and even then he is tough.”
Ranieri stepped in: “Yeah, tough, just like the Chicken I just ate.”
“Glad you liked it, we are modern, trendy and expensive, unlike that place in Turin, what’s it called…that’s it, ‘poor old lady’.”
The tit-for-tat battles stopped and Galliani showed great skills when rounding off the figures. However, neither Mourinho nor Ranieri wanted to pay.
A squabble turned into a heated argument and it wasn’t long before insults and fists began to fly. The former Porto coach ran down the line punching and screaming as he chased Galliani, who was out of breath as he tried to escape. Ranieri followed behind as he tried to stop the fight, but just like his Juve defence, he failed.
Waiters called for the bill and the police arrived to arrest Mourinho. Ranieri was also cuffed even though he tried to play the peacemaker.
Both men spent the night locked up in cells, with the police notifying Massimo Moratti and Giovanni Cobolli Gigli of the incident. Luckily Galliani didn’t press charges and the pair were released with just a caution.
The restaurant released a statement which reads:
“After careful consideration, ‘Galliani’s’ will not take the matter any further.
“We can understand the circumstances and both men are welcome to return in future. All we ask for is a donation to help cover the costs of damage caused.”
Mourinho responded first after receiving stern advice from Moratti.
“Donation? Certainly,” said the Nerazzurri coach.
“I’ll give ‘Galliani’s’ my Adriano. Like the owner, he’s fat, bald and greedy. He will do so well sat at the bar and he’s worthless.”
Ranieri was a little less generous.
“I’ll donate Tiago. He can’t use his feet, but he can be a good waiter, after all, he’s always waiting around anyway and he could do with a few tips too.
“Also, I will give Galliani this nice Rolex watch. It used to belong to Marek Hamsik. I got it for Christmas from Luciano Moggi.”
Galliani accepted the gifts with open arms and it was he who had the last laugh. Mourinho, rather embarrassingly lost out, the coach is still hungry but not homeless after escaping a jail term.
Ranieri meanwhile headed back to Turin empty-handed, not that it makes a difference as he’s used to that.
Please note that this story is satirical...
Salvatore Landolina, Goal.com
After months and years of sour words between both men, a truce had been called. Ranieri accepted Mourinho’s dinner invitation and a time and date was set in order to clear the air and start the new year healthily, positively and, just like ‘Galliani’s’ cellar, full of good spirits.
The duo chose the neutral, but exciting venue in the centre of Milan where good food is hard to find and the staff is rarely kind. Both men were greeted by Adriano Galliani, the owner. Naturally he was all smiles and eager to get his hands on some cash.
Table 27 was chosen even though Ranieri had asked for 29. Nevertheless, things progressed well and the drinks began to arrive. Mourinho sipped his way through a pint of ‘Becks’ while Ranieri enjoyed a glass of ‘red Rino’.
Along with the drinks came the food - the Inter chief was hungry and ordered ‘Pato the duck’, while his guest chose ‘Chicken Berlusconi’. Both men exchanged a few words as onlookers and fans posed for photos. The table was soon full of cheese - the waiters kept bringing the stuff out every time a picture was taken.
It was soon time to go. Ranieri and his Inter friend were happy, satisfied and full, but this all changed when the bill arrived.
Galliani set the price but Mou seemed reluctant to pay. “Anything else sir?” said the owner.
“Yeah, Ronaldinho would be nice,” replied the Special One.
The bald-headed man scoffed: “’Dinho? He’s only available on Sunday’s and even then he is tough.”
Ranieri stepped in: “Yeah, tough, just like the Chicken I just ate.”
“Glad you liked it, we are modern, trendy and expensive, unlike that place in Turin, what’s it called…that’s it, ‘poor old lady’.”
The tit-for-tat battles stopped and Galliani showed great skills when rounding off the figures. However, neither Mourinho nor Ranieri wanted to pay.
A squabble turned into a heated argument and it wasn’t long before insults and fists began to fly. The former Porto coach ran down the line punching and screaming as he chased Galliani, who was out of breath as he tried to escape. Ranieri followed behind as he tried to stop the fight, but just like his Juve defence, he failed.
Waiters called for the bill and the police arrived to arrest Mourinho. Ranieri was also cuffed even though he tried to play the peacemaker.
Both men spent the night locked up in cells, with the police notifying Massimo Moratti and Giovanni Cobolli Gigli of the incident. Luckily Galliani didn’t press charges and the pair were released with just a caution.
The restaurant released a statement which reads:
“After careful consideration, ‘Galliani’s’ will not take the matter any further.
“We can understand the circumstances and both men are welcome to return in future. All we ask for is a donation to help cover the costs of damage caused.”
Mourinho responded first after receiving stern advice from Moratti.
“Donation? Certainly,” said the Nerazzurri coach.
“I’ll give ‘Galliani’s’ my Adriano. Like the owner, he’s fat, bald and greedy. He will do so well sat at the bar and he’s worthless.”
Ranieri was a little less generous.
“I’ll donate Tiago. He can’t use his feet, but he can be a good waiter, after all, he’s always waiting around anyway and he could do with a few tips too.
“Also, I will give Galliani this nice Rolex watch. It used to belong to Marek Hamsik. I got it for Christmas from Luciano Moggi.”
Galliani accepted the gifts with open arms and it was he who had the last laugh. Mourinho, rather embarrassingly lost out, the coach is still hungry but not homeless after escaping a jail term.
Ranieri meanwhile headed back to Turin empty-handed, not that it makes a difference as he’s used to that.
Please note that this story is satirical...
Salvatore Landolina, Goal.com
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