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Duncan Jenkins' guide to Euro 2012

Duncan Jenkins' guide to Euro 2012

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The latest addition to Goal.com's Euro 2012 line-up, self-proclaimed 'perspiring journalist' Duncan Jenkins, offers his unique insight on the tournament

Hullo and welcome to Duncan Jenkins’ introduction to Euro 2012, with me Duncan Jenkins.

As the heavy metal group Bon Jovi once sang, it is now “the final countdown” to the tournament which starts this friday. football fever is on everyone’s lips, just like a nasty coleslaw. like coleslaws, football fever is highly contagious and the build up to a major international tournament is as good as it gets for a football fan.

My coverage

Covering international tournaments can be tricky for a perspiring journalist like myself. most top journo’s will be covering the tournament live and direct from Poland and the Ukraines, while others will be working from there employers office at worst.

"Another trophy would be the coup de tat for the little Spaniards, completing a hat-trick of concessive tournament wins"

i am still perspiring to be a full time journo, so my coverage hinges entirely on whether my mam will let me watch the match on telly. if any games clash with “David Dickensons real deal” then i can forget it. thankfully she is always bladdered by 5pm every day, which is kick-off time for the first game each day.

Favourites

Germany are many experts tip to lift the trophy. the squad is packed full of germans - plus loads of poles, a turk and a ghanian - will be better equipped to win this time having lost the euro 2008 final to eventual winners Spain, who went on to win the tournament and removed a massive monkey from around there neck in the process.

Scorer of the winning goal that day was Fernando Torres, who at the time was arguably the finest number 9 (real, not false) in the world. he has since literally become a wolf in cheap clothing, and his painful slide into a Bolivian has been well documented. he is expected to lead Spain’s attack but i wont let that put me off and my £2 pound each way will certainly be going on los riojas.

Thirty years of hurt never stopped me bleeding

Another trophy would be the coup de tat for the little Spaniards, completing a hat-trick of concessive tournament wins.

"The presence of J.T in the squad has caused real controversy but the England fans will do well to get behind there defensive leader"

England go into the proverbial competition led by the eloquacious and much fetid Roy Hodgson, but it has not been plane sailing for the former oddevold manager.

The presence of J.T in the squad has caused real controversy but the England fans will do well to get behind there defensive leader.  i dont want to be too harsh on him, but J.T is definately to blame for absolutely everything. he is undoubtably a massive idiot but his presents cannot be allowed to disrupt the cameradderie of the squad. great banter is absolutely key to the success of any team.

The lads will be based in a placed called crackoff, which is in Poland, yet they play all three games in the Ukraines, which is almost certainly another country entirely.

this has to go down as another own goal by the increasingly hatless F.A.

England is represented in the referees pool by Howard Webb and his team of lino’s. here at home Webbs' is often accused of being bias towards Manchester United due to the fact he is the son of former United midfielder Neil Webb. however since United have not entered the tournament this is unlikely to become an issue.

Fans

Thankfully these days football tournaments normally pass off without incident but there has been some concern since the recent panoranarama documentary about disgusting racist nutters in Poland and Ukraine. there is expected to be a large police presence to insure the safety of fans, but this can sometimes be taken the wrong way by hooligans who enjoy throwing tables and chairs at police. that is bang out of order and it is important to remember that the police are not there to create disorder, they are there to preserve disorder.

Conclusion

That concludes my introduction to euro 2012.


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