I don't want to live in India...Note: The below is purely a work of fiction. It has no comparison with anyone, dead or alive.
Paul, the octopus, has been in the news for his match predictions at this year's World Cup. He has successfully predicted all of Germany's matches correctly, and has picked Spain ahead of the big final against Netherlands!
Paul The Octopus
Goal.com swam down for an exclusive interview with Paul...
Goal.com: Congratulations for your successful predictions so far this World Cup. How does it feel to be hogging all the limelight?
Paul: It feels great, really. I really thank my fans and my keepers for making me so popular. I feel like I am the 'eighth' wonder of the world. I just want to give everyone an eight tentacled hug.
Goal.com: Reports say that German people want to make Octi Sushi out of you. Your thoughts?
Paul: I am planning to escape after the final. Most probably Spain since they are now in love with me. I am thinking of trying a hand at Real Madrid- Barcelona matches now.
Goal.com: Why not India?
Paul: Are you crazy? I don't want to be in the middle of match fixing allegations like Lalit Modi.
Paul Picks Spain Ahead Of The Finals
Goal.com: You have opposition from Mani the Parakeet, who has gone for a Dutch win. Do you think you that the bird is a threat to your record?
Paul: That bird has a 'bird brain'. And I am an octopus. I have a bigger and much sharper brain. So I am right. She will be fried on Sunday night. I know Spain are winning.
Goal.com: People are comparing you with Nostradamus now. How do you feel?
Paul: Nostradamus was a great human being. But I am the first 'octopus' of my kind. And since I have eight legs, I am four times better than him. (Gives an evil laugh!)
Goal.com: You were born in England and now are living in Germany. So why Spain then?
Paul: These buggers have been giving me the same food wrapped in German flag colours. I wanted to try something new, and hence I picked the Spanish flag. I found it so tasty that I picked it again ahead of the finals.
Goal.com: Any predictions for Indian football?
Paul: I see a bright future ahead. All that is needed is to train the youth and build up infrastructure. Fans will come in seeing this and the media will also follow in seeing the fans.
Goal.com: Thank you Paul!
Paul: It's been a pleasure hogging all the limelight. Hope I get a job on Sky Sports!