Football's New Year resolutions - from Luis Suarez making friends who aren't Liverpool fans to Carlos Tevez following instructions

Indeed, the £50 million man was probably the last person to hear about manager Andre Villas-Boas’ new rule that players must acknowledge him and his technical staff after scoring a goal. And even then, the Spaniard more than likely only found out through eaves-dropping on Nicolas Anelka.

"I am a world and European champion and I deserve more respect", Torres stated recently as he assumed an increasingly defensive stance (and we mean off the field, but he may as well take up a more defensive stance on the field too).

Shame about his performances on the pitch then. Since his £35 million move on deadline day in January, the striker has scored just four Premier League goals, in turn leading to a barrage of criticism directed towards the Geordie.

Kenny Dalglish has vehemently denied suggestions that the Gateshead-born player needs to alter his lifestyle, yet claims that the 6ft 3in forward’s indulgence in the party lifestyle is proving detrimental on the field led to concerns from England boss Fabio Capello, who suggested in September that Carroll needs ‘to drink less’.

It seems there are very few managers who bolster their reputations in the England hot-seat, and Capello may likely settle for maintaining the record of his recent peers, with a nice quarter-final showing in Euro 2012.

Admittedly, the north London side have seen a resurgence of late, much thanks to the continuation of Robin van Persie’s goalscoring form and the blossoming of summer signings Gervinho and Mikel Arteta, all of which suggests 2012 may be brighter as Arsenal look to end their seven-year silverware drought.

A move to Serie A giants AC Milan has been widely touted, and with Roberto Mancini so close to the end of his tether that he would probably drive the Argentine to Italy himself, it would quite literally take an apocalyptic-type disaster (much like the one predicted at the end of the pagan calendar in 2012…) for the 27-year-old to feature at Eastlands again.

If Tevez wants to get off on the right foot in Italy, Brazil or wherever he ends up in January, he might be better served doing what is asked of him by the unfortunate subordinate superior that is his manager.

The 24-year-old served a one-game suspension against Newcastle on Friday for using just one finger to wave to Fulham fans, and has an eight-game ban hanging over him for his discussion about South American colloquialisms with Patrice Evra. Throw in the fact that opposition supporters believe he, well, how do we put this... has a balance problem, and you can see why Suarez might feel a bit lonely. Some t-shirts should make him feel better.

Admittedly, it’s very easy to take the high road and say a manager needs more time when it’s not your team who lie perilously close to relegation. Yet, with an improved contract being handed to the Scotsman and owners Venky’s once again backing their man, it doesn’t look as though Kean will be going anywhere soon.

Wouldn’t it be nice if at the end of the season, Blackburn supporters and their boss could come together over a delicious bargain bucket of Indian poultry, let bygones be bygones, reflect on the bad times they’ve shared together, and look forward to next season’s Championship campaign.

Maybe these were the words that the Ivorian needed to hear as he delved into his wife’s slimming pills in search of a weight-loss solution? Instead, the 30-year-old took the water tablets in a bid to control his waistline and was duly punished by the FA with a six-month ban, after testing positive for a specified substance in a doping test.

Toure has now returned to action after sitting out from March to September, and will no doubt have learned his lesson not to take short cuts in that elusive search for the perfect body. And if not, a further year-and-a-half of targeted drug testing will surely prove a worthy deterrent.

Yes, the Fifa president may be out of touch, but his reign, which has seen the world’s most celebrated sporting event spread across the world, will soon be coming to an end.

With Uefa’s Michel Platini in line to the throne – and whilst the Frenchman isn’t quite Charles de Gaulle, he clearly doesn’t look across the Channel in the most favourable light - it would do no harm for England to position itself in a more advantageous place with the football governing bodies.

If the exciting prospects of Phil Jones, Chris Smalling and Danny Welbeck aren’t enough to motivate Fergie to a successful 2012, then the rise of noisy neighbours Manchester City most certainly will be.

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