Did You Smash It Jamie? - Goal.com's Quotes Of The Year

Mario Balotelli, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Maradona and many more feature as we look back on some of the more eccentric moments in football during 2011

EPL,Mario Balotelli,Manchester United v Manchester City
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By Jamie Dunn

Ah, Christmas. A time for reflection as we reach the end of the year. And even when a ball isn't being kicked, somebody is saying something of interest to someone somewhere about football.

The modern day player has seemingly at times had most of the personality media-trained out of them. But fortunately for us, occasionally, a maverick - a renegade - goes 'off message' and delivers us a sumptuous piece of verbal pie.

The calendar year of 2011 had no shortage of these characters, and so, here is the pick of the bunch.

We begin at the start, in January, with the villains of our piece...

Keys and Gray 'Smash it'


"Did you smash it?"

- ...and with those four words, broadcaster Richard Keys, synonymous with the Premier League era, was dropped into the sexism row that had seen colleague Andy Gray lose his job. Off-air footage of Gray scoffing at the suggestion of a female assistant referee, and making inappropriate comments to fellow presenter Charlotte Jackson had earlier leaked.

Keys resigned and apologised, but claimed "dark forces" were at work in the leaking of the footage. The pair now present a talk radio show and have recently entered into the public speaking circuit.

The Year of BaLOLtelli


Oh, Mario Balotelli. Why always you? The United Kingdom is a nation divided over the enigmatic Italian, but we here at Goal.com cannot get enough of the striker, not least because he is a player of exceptional ability and unspeakable potential, which is worth remembering, as Balotelli is equally good value off the pitch as he is on.

"He [Wayne Rooney] is a very good player but not the best in Manchester."

- Who would that happen to be, Mario?

“He had an allergy. I don’t know what. His face was swollen, I don’t know why."

- Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini explains the half-time hooking of Balotelli, who suffered an allergic reaction to grass of all things during a Europa League game.

It was also in the Europa League that the Italian endured a lengthy struggle with a training bib.

“We can put him in jail? Next week we can put him in jail for this.”

- Mancini suggests there is only one way to prevent the 21-year-old from getting into further trouble.

“My season was s***, was not very good, today maybe I play more for the team. [Eric] Cantona was really a big player, but I am different, I am Mario.”

- Balotelli drops the S-bomb in a television interview, and indicates he has no desire to emulate Manchester United's own mysterious legend.

"In football we should be serious, always. And if you have a chance to score, you should score. Only this, for me, it’s finished now. And I hope for him it is an important lesson."

- Mancini blew a gasket when Balotelli attempted to score with an audacious piece of skill early on during a friendly against the LA Galaxy on their pre-season tour, and substituted his troublesome protege.

“It is an important message that children should not mess with fireworks. They can be very dangerous if they are not used in the right way. People should follow the firework code.”

- This one wasn't actually Mario's fault. A friend of the Italian let off a firework in his bathroom, which caused Balotelli's house to burn down. The incident prompted the now famous 'Why Always Me?' t-shirt celebration in the Manchester derby.

I, Zlatan


Zlatan Ibrahimovic has never been one to hold his tongue, but it turned out this year that the Swede had been holding back, until the release of his autobiography 'I am Zlatan Ibrahmovic'.

"I yelled to him: 'You have no balls!' And probably worse things than that. And I added: 'You are sh***ing yourself about Mourinho! You can go to hell!' I was completely mad. If I were Guardiola, I would have been frightened."

- In this extract, the AC Milan striker reveals details of a row with Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola, during his spell at the club.

"[Sandro] Rosell, [Adriano] Galliani, my lawyer and [Barcelona vice-president Josep Maria] Bartomeu were all there, and Sandro said: 'I want you to know that this is the worst piece of business I have conducted in my life.'

"I replied: 'It's the result of bad leadership.'"

- Ibrahmovic says Barcelona only have themselves to blame for losing him.

"He could have grown up with me in the ghetto of Malmo. I also like fireworks, but I let them off in gardens and kebab stands, I didn't burn the house down."

- Away from the book, on his kindred spirit Balotelli.

Pele vs Maradona


This one never ends. In 2011, we were treated to the 567,000th instalment of the war of words between Pele and Diego Maradona.

"If he really did not see me, I'll do what I once did with [Diego] Maradona: I'll send him the video 'Pele Eterno' and then he will."

- Pele plans to educate Lionel Messi on his illustrious career, after the Argentine admitted he had not seen the Brazilian legend play, with a copy of his documentary.

"Making an individual comparison, I think Neymar is much better, more complete: [he] hits well with both feet, can dribble off either side, and scores goals."

- Pele again, this time unsurprisingly in the corner of his compatriot Neymar, whom he believes is better than Messi.

"He took the wrong pill. Instead of taking the pill for before bedtime, he took his morning pill."

- Maradona, in his own inimitable style, responds to Pele's claims. By ridiculing them, of course.

El Clasico


There were 50 Clasicos in 2011 - fact. Well, perhaps not that many, but there were enough for tempers to fray as Jose Mourinho searched for a way to stifle Barcelona after Real Madrid suffered a 5-0 defeat in November 2010.

"Guardiola is a great coach, but I'd be embarrassed if I'd won the tournament like that after the scandal at Stamford Bridge."

- Mourinho refuses to let sleeping dogs lie after insisting Barcelona are yet to win the Champions League without receiving some favourable decisions.

"In this room he's the f***ing chief, the f***king boss, and I can never compete with that."

- Guardiola indicates he will not be dragged into a war of words with Mourinho, as he simply cannot compete when it comes to the press room.

"Mourinho is destroying Spanish football. He has crossed the line and he has to be stopped."

- Barcelona defender Gerard Pique slams Mourinho.

"It's an unequal fight. With all the stones being thrown against me you could build a monument."

- Madrid are being victimised, Mournho says eloquently.

The best of the rest...

"I’m in disbelief. How selfish can you get? Tevez is one bad apple. He can undo all the good work that has been done at City. He’s a disgrace to football. He epitomises what the man in the street thinks is wrong with modern football. It is totally unacceptable. He’s a football player and he is paid to play."

- Graeme Souness goes in studs up on Carlos Tevez just minutes after it is alleged the striker refused to warm up and come on as a second-half substitute in the Champions League defeat to Bayern Munich. The saga rumbles on...

"Will you get another Paul Scholes? No. Never. Not in a million years."

- Ryan Giggs pays his respects to Manchester United team-mate Paul Scholes, who retired at the end of the 20010-11 season.

"I think that because I am rich, handsome and a great player people are envious of me. I don't have any other explanation."

- Cristiano Ronaldo thinks he knows why he was jeered during Real Madrid's 1-0 victory over Dinamo Zagreb in September.

"Every year Hearts fights to be in the top three, but even last season in the last 12 games of the season it was almost like someone replaced the team with a different one. Whose fault is that? Players? Managers? Or is it mafia? Each year we are forced to fight against these maniacs harder and harder."

- Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov - an eccentric character to say the least - cries conspiracy in a baffling statement released through the Scottish club's website back in June.

"Napoli are not a supermarket. Perhaps you can describe us as a jewellery store, but people are scared by our prices.”

- Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis insisted he would not sell his star names over the summer. He didn't, and his club secured a place in the knockout rounds of the Champions League.

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