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Atishay Inc. : Ten Things A Football Newbie Would Say
Here’s a look at some of the comical, irritating, and downright infuriating observations a football newbie makes while watching the game, and what you might feel like saying to him/her in response...
10-Sep-2009 6:06:17 PM
1) "Ninety minutes are up, why are they still playing for 3 more minutes"??
That’s just for good luck, no big deal.
2) "What is offside? Anything related to cricket"?
Oh dear, you said the C-word.
3) "Koi goal kyon nahi maar raha hai?" (Why isn't anyone scoring?)
That's because there's a defence on both sides, dodo.
4) "Is Ronaldo playing?"
Yes, he plays for every single team in the whole wide world.
5) "Is Arsenal named after Arsene Wenger?"
Absolutely. They foresaw his managerial role at the club right from the late 1800s.
6) "Why don't Manchester United play in the World Cup?"
Please, don't make me thump you.
7) "Why did that defender just kick the ball aimlessly out of play into the stands?"
Because he probably saw someone like you sitting there.
8) "He scored an own goal? What a horrible footballer!"
I wish you could imagine an own goal in any other way apart from a man walking the ball into the back of his own net.
9) "The penalty taker hit the ball to the left, so why did the goalkeeper dive to the right?"
Argh! Probably because he wanted to get out of the way.
10) "There's no Third Umpire?"
Just get out of my house.
Atishay Agarwal
That’s just for good luck, no big deal.
2) "What is offside? Anything related to cricket"?
Oh dear, you said the C-word.
3) "Koi goal kyon nahi maar raha hai?" (Why isn't anyone scoring?)
That's because there's a defence on both sides, dodo.
4) "Is Ronaldo playing?"
Yes, he plays for every single team in the whole wide world.
5) "Is Arsenal named after Arsene Wenger?"
Absolutely. They foresaw his managerial role at the club right from the late 1800s.
6) "Why don't Manchester United play in the World Cup?"
Please, don't make me thump you.
7) "Why did that defender just kick the ball aimlessly out of play into the stands?"
Because he probably saw someone like you sitting there.
8) "He scored an own goal? What a horrible footballer!"
I wish you could imagine an own goal in any other way apart from a man walking the ball into the back of his own net.
9) "The penalty taker hit the ball to the left, so why did the goalkeeper dive to the right?"
Argh! Probably because he wanted to get out of the way.
10) "There's no Third Umpire?"
Just get out of my house.
Atishay Agarwal
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