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The many sagas,
Bale, Fabregas, Rooney,
Some stayed, some left, sulked
Hello, Joe Kinnear!
I hear you're well-connected
So why no signings?
Ozil to Arsenal!
He's worth half a Gareth Bale
Jose, you strange man,
Juan Mata is good, you know?
But Samuel Eto'o,
Thanks for bringing him to us
He's Dagestan's loss
No move for Suarez
No European football
Not even Thursdays
It is only normal that, whenever he puts in a poor performance, the fans will remind him that the club paid €100m for him," Ronaldo told Radio Barcelona.
"I can only recommend to Bale that he does not let his price tag become an obsession."
Sensible words from the big man
Across the channel, former Liverpool possession-ceder Momo Sissoko has terminated his contract with Paris Saint-Germain, with Reading reportedly making eyes at the midfielder.
Here's our report
Here's a special report from our correspondent Wayne Veysey revealing just how they did it
"It's just to get games," said Rdogers. "He had a stop-start season last year with his injuries and I just felt this year he needed to go and play football.
"With Daniel Sturridge, Luis Suarez, Iago Aspas and some of the other attacking players, that might have been limited.
"I have a real belief in Fabio - he is a talent, and we've seen that on occasions, but he needs to be playing regularly to demonstrate that talent.
Warning: the words 'Manchester' and 'United' may well appear
Anyway, who cares about Real Madrid when Carlton Cole is re-signing for West Ham!?
"It's obvious that he is a special teammate and friend," Ramos told reporters.
"I've always had a real 'feeling' with him, and it's a shame. He's a great footballer, unique.
"Everyone is free to choose the best for themselves, but if I were to decide what was happening at Madrid he would be one of the last who would be going."
Pretty strong words from him
Have a read here
Today he's dissecting the various travails of Mesut Ozil, David Moyes and Tottenham Hotspur
Well worth a read
Oliver Biefhoff is convinced that the playmaker will develop at Arsenal, Alvaro Arbeloa thought his former team-mate was joking when he said he was leaving the Spanish capital, and the player himself feels that Real Madrid lost faith in him.
"It's very exciting," Walcott told reporters. "I played against him for England Under 21s, he showed his qualities then and he has showed them since.
"He's a great addition and personally I'm looking forward to playing alongside him."
More on that here
Here's our man Jon Birchall with his own take on goings-on at Old Trafford
And here's our exclusive report on how the club are set to launch an internal inquiry into their summer failings
"My first game for Liverpool was against Sunderland, and I remember the stadium; the atmosphere was amazing," he told the club's official website.
"I’m very happy to come back to England, and now I can start to work with an Italian manager.
"I know his kind of football, his kind of work. He works hard, and tries to do his best on the pitch.
"The Premier League is the most beautiful league in the world. I left in 2010, but I was angry to leave this country, and now I’ve come back because I think I can do my best for Sunderland."
This is no ordinary human being speaking - this is a left back who scored in romps against Real Madrid and Manchester United in the same week
"I spoke to Studge and he wanted me to come here. He said I'd love it here but he didn't need to say much," he told Liverpool's official website.
"The next morning, I had a word with my agent and told him it could be the right move for me.
"It's a massive club with great history. The club is doing well, so I wanted to come here and enjoy my football."
Ain't that lovely
Having added Iago Aspas, Mamadou Sakho, Tiago Ilori, Luis Alberto, Kolo Toure, Simon Mignolet and Victor Moses, there's little doubt that Rodgers has dramatically improved his squad.
But, with the possible exception of Toure, has he really improved his team? The club's more high-pedigree targets - i.e. Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Willian and Diego Costa - all turned the Reds down, and with fellow top four wannabes Spurs having improved their side so notably, it remains to be seen whether this season's Liverpool can properly push on from a bitty previous campaign.
That said, though, they are currently sitting happily atop the league, so that shows what I know.
Perenially underrated in England for my money, Dempsey has now return to the MLS and is settling in well at the Seattle Sounders.
Read more here