Lessons are not learned from Ashley Cole, the Reading striker just wants everyone to stay healthy and Demba Ba's spent too long in Newcastle - it's just another day on Twitter...
Congratulations, then, to Stoke City's Jermaine Pennant, who was too busy sitting on the bench to notice the furore and got explicit as he revealed that he was about to leave on loan.
Elsewhere on the social network, Reading forward Noel Hunt just wants everyone to stay healthy and Manchester City's John Guidetti fancies a new tattoo - it's all here in Goal.com's Word on the Tweet.
"To all the stokies I have some news for you all...... I did say ill always be honest so after training I will tell you
"I'll tell you now f%#k it......"
Jermaine Pennant, about to announce his imminent departure from Stoke City to Wolves on loan, may not have paid any attention to the Ashley Cole story recently...
"Morning all! Just looking out my window and it looks quite breezy out there!! Wrap up well tweeps! Don't want anyone complaining of the flu! "
Is WOTT the only one suspecting that Noel Hunt has noticed someone in the Reading squad who likes to complain of the sniffles?
"Okey The best #tattoo place in #Manchester any1 ? :)"
Manchester City prospect John Guidetti wants some new ink, eh? WOTT recommends an image of Vincent Kompany riding a motorcycle over a pit of fire. Or a butterfly.
"Training done off for the weekend. On way up to Glasgow to go see kevin Bridges tonight should be class!!"
If West Brom midfielder Graham Dorrans wants a laugh, it's probably cheaper to stay in and watch San Marino attempt to defend.
"Il fait trop chaud à dakar"
Senegal forward Demba Ba complains in French about the weather being too warm in his home country. You've spent too long in Newcastle, big horse.
"Happy Birthday to big Shols! 31 now he's really kicking on...still got a few more derby dates left in him though #mackemslayer #finewine"
Sammy Ameobi congratulates his sibling and fellow Newcastle man Shola in that inimitable couldn't-quite-make-it-a-full-compliment brotherly way.
"Think I might have a nice big roast dinner as it my bday :)"
Fair play, Henri Lansbury, you've earned it. Hopefully Nottingham Forest won't mind.
"Big game tonight all the lads are buzzing and ready to go!!!! #EnglandU21 #LetsGetAWin"
Is Liverpool's Raheem Sterling old enough to be on Twitter yet?
"Does anyone know the feeling that he has to do a 30K run in preparation for a marathon but weather and wind are not making it easy to start?"
Being a sublime specimen of humanity at its athletic peak, WOTT is unable to sympathise with such mortal concerns. Sorry, Edwin van der Sar.
"Did anyone watch the #planecrash last night? Was it any good?"
Insert your own 'winger' joke about Wayne Routledge here.