By George Ankers
It is not easy being a psychic bird. Since the beginning of Euro 2012, Kev the chicken from Kiev has been an integral part of the Goal.com team, predicting each game's results on The Goal Line using his bird's-eye third eye.
Before making his debut for Goal.com, Kev had studied under his sensei and personal friend, World Cup 2010 superstar Paul the octopus, in between being saved from the KFC production line and serving as a board member at Blackburn Rovers. However, he has not, as yet, fully replicated his old master's success in the ways of the secret sight.
So far, Kev has only managed a 42.9 per cent overall success rate in his predictions, leading some observers to question his credentials as a psychic football pundit. When we asked him for an interview, the crested guru was only too keen to open his beak and set the record straight.
Goal.com: Thanks for talking to us, Kev.
Kev the psychic chicken from Kiev: No problem. I'm eggcited to have the opportunity.
|THE GOAL LINE | JUNE 25
|Sian Welby speaks to Kev in Monday's episode of our Euro 2012 show
K: What? You're replacing me with a psychic elephant?
G: Sorry, poor choice of words. You've taken a lot of criticism for your lack of accuracy so far ...
K: It's not my fault. The players on the pitch keep cocking up. In the group stages, the players found it easier to fowl up my predictions because those matches didn't matter so much. Particularly in Group A, nobody cares about those teams! So in that group, the players just winged it. If they had taken it more seriously, I would have been 100% correct rather than a poultry 16.5%.
When the matches matter most, though, you can see that I coop best under pressure. In Group B, the 'Group of Death', I got 66.6% of results correct, and now, in the quarter-finals, I was on target with 75% of my predictions. I'd have had four out of four if Petr Cech hadn't let in that goal from Cristiano Ronaldo – that blasted goalkeeper has such chicken fingers.
G: So you're saying that you'll keep getting more accurate as the tournament reaches its final stages?
K: Well, I certainly will nugget any worse.
G: What do you make of the football on show so far? Who has impressed you the most?
K: I admire Spain very much. They treat the ball like an egg that will crack if they let it go just for a second and build their nest just outside the opponents' penalty area. They also pack the midfield full like a bargain bucket – it reminds me of some old friends.
However, I have seen the future and it is Germany who will emerge triumphant. Mario Gomez is my favourite player because he has a plumed crest just like me, and he really tore strips off Netherlands in the group stage when he was given free range to roam through the defence. I expect them to feather the storm of Italy in the semi-final before clucking out by beating Spain in the final.
|"I have seen the future and it is Germany who will emerge triumphant ... clucking out by beating Spain in the final"
- Kev the psychic chicken from Kiev
G: What does the future hold for you after the tournament? Will you be back for Brazil 2014?
K: That kind of future is harder to predict – I'm a football pundit, not a career advisor – but I have a few options cooking. I won't be continuing my role on the board at Blackburn – my on-pitch team-talk at the end of the season didn't go down very well – but my agent has been henundated with offers. I'm in talks to sell the film rights to my story, with Coq au Vin Diesel set to play me and Steven Spielburger attached to direct.
As for the World Cup in 2014, let's not say for definite – I wouldn't want to count my chickens before they hatch – but I'm a psychic football pundit. That's what I do. And you can follow me on Twitter to keep abreast of my plans as they develop!
G: Maybe a quick rest with the family first after the tournament?
K: What, the flock?
G: No need to be rude. Thanks for your time, Kev.
K: No problem. I'm off to crash a hen party and get totally basted. Ciao.
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