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‘All of you f***ers like to talk. You will regret your words soon. Bye, you bunch of idiots’ - the best quotes of 2011 in Italy
From Djibril Cisse putting all his haters in their place to the most wonderful metaphor for life, Goal.com digs out some of the most fantastic soundbites of the past 12 months
29 Dec 2011 13:14:00
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It has been a vintage year for Italian football. There have been so many talking points: The rise of AC Milan; the fall of Inter; Juventus’ resurgence; Luis Enrique’s Roman revolution – the list goes on.
However, it still seems like that the more things change, the more they stay the same because Serie A has still been beset by controversy on and off the field.
And you know what? We wouldn’t have it any other way because, as the quotes below underline, when it comes to soundbites, Serie A is still in a league of its own.
- Devis Mangia probably deserved to be sacked after making this proclamation on December 19. Clearly the poor man had forgotten who he was working for, namely the self-proclaimed manager-eater ("mangiallenatori"), Maurizio Zamparini, who has now sacked 20 coaches in his 10 seasons at the club.
- Genoa president Enrico Preziosi on a vote of confidence so empty that even 'Deadly' Doug Ellis would have felt it was a tad two-faced.
- You know what, it's looking increasingly likely that Vicenzo Montella was right.
- And to be fair to you, Antonello Venditti, arguably the greatest metaphor we've ever heard in football.
- The old saying that if you think scoring a goal is like sex, you're not doing it right comes to mind. And we think even Filippo Inzaghi would agree with us.
- In fairness, Carlos, don't take offence to Silvio Berlusconi's comments, as you're neither female nor under 21.
- Mauro Zarate gave the definitive example of 'Too Much Information' ahead of his wedding.
- Juve boss Antonio Conte reveals just why he's proven such a hit at Juventus with this obvious, but wonderfully honest piece of advice to Michele Pazienza.
- Erik Lamela also states the blindingly obvious to Pablo Osvaldo - only he ends up getting a smack in the mouth for his troubles.
- And if you, Zlatan, were half as intelligent as you are talented, you would not have made such a mess of your greatest ever chance to win a Champions League.
- Well, Zlatan, you kind of do.
- We have no time for haters but we are still waiting for Djibril Cisse to prove himself at Lazio.
- Pablo Osvaldo certainly has no problem challenging teenage team-mates off the field of play, but he's yet to prove that he can challenge absolutely anyone on it.
- Cesena's Adrian Mutu was good in his prime - but he wasn't that good.
- And Antonio Conte appears to agree with Luciano Moggi's take on Juventus' out-of-favour winger.
- Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis subtly suggests that Ezequiel Lavezzi's girlfriend was asking for trouble after getting robbed at gunpoint.
- Zlatan pops up again to give his thoughts on Mario Balotelli and one of the Italian's many mishaps in 2011
"I'm not a doctor, a pharmacist or a miracle worker. God took seven days to make the world."
- Delio Rossi insinuates that even The Almighty would struggle to turn Fiorentina into a force again.
- AC Milan defender Thiago Silva confirms what we pretty much all suspected.
- Fair to say that Cagliari's Radja Nainggolan was less than impressed with the officiating in his side's clash with Inter.
- De Laurentiis lashes out at the Italian Football League over their fixture list for the current campaign before hitching a ride on the back of a scooter in the undoubted image of 2011.
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However, it still seems like that the more things change, the more they stay the same because Serie A has still been beset by controversy on and off the field.
And you know what? We wouldn’t have it any other way because, as the quotes below underline, when it comes to soundbites, Serie A is still in a league of its own.
| PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW |
"This is for those who said I wouldn't eat the Christmas panettone at Palermo this season."
- Devis Mangia probably deserved to be sacked after making this proclamation on December 19. Clearly the poor man had forgotten who he was working for, namely the self-proclaimed manager-eater ("mangiallenatori"), Maurizio Zamparini, who has now sacked 20 coaches in his 10 seasons at the club.
"I had confirmed my faith in [Alberto] Malesani after the game, but when driving away in the car, I made the decision to fire him."
- Genoa president Enrico Preziosi on a vote of confidence so empty that even 'Deadly' Doug Ellis would have felt it was a tad two-faced.
"Was Maxi Lopez crying because it was his last game here? I think he was crying because he'll have to stay in Catania and fight for his place."
- You know what, it's looking increasingly likely that Vicenzo Montella was right.
| LOVE IS IN THE AIR |
"Roma play platonic football. It's beautiful, made of love, union and passion. But then the other jerks turn up and score a goal. It's a metaphor of life."
- And to be fair to you, Antonello Venditti, arguably the greatest metaphor we've ever heard in football.
"It's fantastic scoring a goal. I go crazy, it's like having sex."
- The old saying that if you think scoring a goal is like sex, you're not doing it right comes to mind. And we think even Filippo Inzaghi would agree with us.
"I am not courting Tevez as he is not my type.”
- In fairness, Carlos, don't take offence to Silvio Berlusconi's comments, as you're neither female nor under 21.
"I use skin creams, perfumes and conditioners. I will shave every hair off my body. I will look fantastic."
- Mauro Zarate gave the definitive example of 'Too Much Information' ahead of his wedding.
| KEEPING YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND |
"I told him that he couldn't possibly and should not even attempt to play like [Andrea] Pirlo."
- Juve boss Antonio Conte reveals just why he's proven such a hit at Juventus with this obvious, but wonderfully honest piece of advice to Michele Pazienza.
"Shut your mouth, you're not [Diego] Maradona.'"
- Erik Lamela also states the blindingly obvious to Pablo Osvaldo - only he ends up getting a smack in the mouth for his troubles.
| DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR |
"I yelled to him: 'You have no balls!' And probably worse things than that. And I added: 'You are sh*tting yourself about [Jose] Mourinho. You can go to hell!' I was completely mad. If I were Guardiola, I would have been frightened."
- And if you, Zlatan, were half as intelligent as you are talented, you would not have made such a mess of your greatest ever chance to win a Champions League.
"In my head, though, I am the strongest of them all. I certainly don't need a Golden Ball to prove that I am No. 1."
- Well, Zlatan, you kind of do.
"All of you f***ers like to talk. You will regret your words soon. Bye, you bunch of idiots. You will see who I really am. I will make all of you haters regret your words."
- We have no time for haters but we are still waiting for Djibril Cisse to prove himself at Lazio.
"I hope that they have regrets about me in Argentina because, apart from Lionel Messi, I can challenge anyone on the field of play."
- Pablo Osvaldo certainly has no problem challenging teenage team-mates off the field of play, but he's yet to prove that he can challenge absolutely anyone on it.
"It's obvious that I should have made some different decisions in the past. Had I done that then I could have won the Ballon d'Or."
- Cesena's Adrian Mutu was good in his prime - but he wasn't that good.
"People didn't know what they were talking about when they said Milos Krasic was like Pavel Nedved. They just have the same hair..."
- And Antonio Conte appears to agree with Luciano Moggi's take on Juventus' out-of-favour winger.
| STREET SMART |
"Naples is no more violent than Milan or Rome, which I would call the real crime capital of Italy. I would like to tell Yanina that during a recession she shouldn't go around with a Rolex on her wrist. Her scared reaction is justified, but maybe she's not yet 'Neopolitan' enough to deal with this sort of thing."
- Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis subtly suggests that Ezequiel Lavezzi's girlfriend was asking for trouble after getting robbed at gunpoint.
"He could have grown up with me in the ghetto of Malmo. I also like fireworks, but I let them off in gardens and kebab stands; I never burned the house down."
- Zlatan pops up again to give his thoughts on Mario Balotelli and one of the Italian's many mishaps in 2011
| DIVINE COMEDY |
"I'm not a doctor, a pharmacist or a miracle worker. God took seven days to make the world."
- Delio Rossi insinuates that even The Almighty would struggle to turn Fiorentina into a force again.
"When Leo Messi approaches you, you have to make the sign of the cross and pray that everything will be alright."
- AC Milan defender Thiago Silva confirms what we pretty much all suspected.
| INFAMY, INFAMY, THEY'VE ALL GOT IT IN FOR ME! |
"The referee was neutral for the last three minutes."
- Fair to say that Cagliari's Radja Nainggolan was less than impressed with the officiating in his side's clash with Inter.
"I will quit football. You lot are all sh*t...."
- De Laurentiis lashes out at the Italian Football League over their fixture list for the current campaign before hitching a ride on the back of a scooter in the undoubted image of 2011.
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