"My biggest mentor is myself because I’ve had to study, so that’s been my biggest influence."
No other place to start than with the always humble quote-machine extraordinaire Brendan Rodgers.
Ian Holloway is usually good for a contribution but I'm not quite sure what he's suggesting here.
"We need to tweak the nose of fear and stick an ice cube down the vest of terror."
|"I’ve always worked along the statistic that if you can dominate the game with the ball you have a 79% chance of winning a game of football."|
Brendan Rodgers again. There's plenty more where that came from too.
"I went home that night and got 10 hours sleep, I think for the first time in my life. Cathy kept coming up and I think she was checking if I was still alive."
Sir Alex Ferguson on recovering from his celebrations after parading a 13th Premier League title in Manchester.
"I'm like a maestro from the Boston Philharmonic whose biggest breakthrough as a leader was realising that he didn't make any sound himself; the players did."
Tottenham manager Andre Villas-Boas blowing his own trumpet.
"At Chelsea, a sacking is just another day at the office."
The Spurs boss again, this time on Roberto Di Matteo's sacking at Stamford Bridge.
"The little boy inside me was screaming 'Manchester United'. United breathes football... the perfect match for me."
Robin van Persie on why he chose to jump ship from Arsenal.
|SIR ALEX FERGUSON
|"In the Van Persie situation you can clearly see that he could have been killed...[Williams] should be banned for a long time because that was the most dangerous thing I've seen on a football field for many years."|
Sir Alex on Ashley Williams inexplicably, but impressively accurately, lumping a ball at the unsuspecting Robin van Persie.
"There is no precedent for what Suarez did, other than he's done it before."
Textbook quote from former Leeds and Manchester City defender Danny Mills on Luiz Suarez's canine antics.
"I believe a young player will run through a barbed wire fence for you. An older player looks for a hole in the fence."
Good old Brendan Rodgers, again. Security must be really tight at Liverpool.
"If that's what Bayern wants … It's like James Bond – except they are the other guy [the villain]."
Loveable Borussia Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp on those big bullies at Bayern Munich.
"People will talk sh*t about us like we are sh*t and the manager needs to leave, but that’s bullsh*t."
Reading forward Jimmy Kebe on Reading and sh*t. Somebody pass the lad a thesaurus.
"That's how it is with the English: if you score against them you're a good player; if you don't, you're not."
Zlatan Ibrahimovic giving it to the #premmers out there after a majestic showing against England.
"If Oscar carries on like this then the world, literally, is at his oyster."
Radio broadcaster Ian Abrahams, where do we begin, literally?
|"We need to tweak the nose of fear and stick an ice cube down the vest of terror."|
His esteemed colleague Adrian Durham. Well, at least there's consistency.
"As clean as a whistle"
Dave Whelan on Callum McManaman's horrendous potential leg-breaker on Massadio Haidara. Did you know he once broke his leg at Wemb... Wait, of course you bloody do.
"A spider doesn't reinvent it's web after a storm, nor will Barca.What hangs together so delicately sometimes gets damaged.Then repaired."
Philosophical broadcaster Ray Hudson on Barcelona's crushing defeat to Bayern Munich.
"Just handed in a transfer request just to let the fans know where I am at right now.... #headsgone"
Delving into the world of Twitter now. Sunderland striker Steven Fletcher, starting the season with a bronze medal worthy hashtag.
"No drink in my house.. So im defrosting ice lollies.. Lool ... #GHETTOJUICE"
Former Newcastle striker Nile Ranger takes second place with that effort.
"Hahahahaa, well done #fa I lied did I, #BUNCHOFTW*TS"
But for sheer audacity and artistic impression, Ashley Cole takes the gold. Bravo.
"I’ve always worked along the statistic that if you can dominate the game with the ball you have a 79% chance of winning a game of football."
Had to squeeze another Brendan Rodgers one in, sorry.
And to finish, in a season when the truth finally came out about the Hillsbrough tragedy, Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard couldn't have put in any better.
"Victims and survivors suffered not just on April 15, 1989 in Sheffield, but for over two decades afterwards with the shameful slandering of their actions by people who abused their position and power."