The 50-year-old needs feels he will need to bring in mathematical help to work out how his side can qualify for Europe if the Blues scoop the elite trophy in May
Newcastle manager Alan Pardew believes the clubs chasing fourth spot have "got a bit edgy" and are "very nervous" as sixth-placed Chelsea remain able to nick the final Champions League qualification spot by winning this season's competition.
The Blues take a 1-0 lead to Barcelona next week, knowing that any kind of result there will be enough to take them to the final, where they face either Bayern Munich or Real Madrid.
Should Roberto Di Matteo's side go on to win the Champions League and one of Arsenal, Tottenham or Pardew's Newcastle finish fourth in the Premier League, then that position becomes a Europa League spot as Chelsea would gain an automatic place as victors.
England are only allowed four representatives in the elite European competition, so that would leave one of Arsene Wenger, Harry Redknapp and Pardew disappointed.
"Chelsea haven't won it yet. But it makes it very interesting that third place, doesn't it? If Arsenal and Tottenham get very nervous, that's a good thing," the Newcastle manager told reporters.
As for his own side's attempt at European qualification, in only their second season back in the Premier League, Pardew was rather philosophical.
"I'll choke on my beer if Chelsea win the Champions League and we finish fourth, for sure. But the rules are the rules," he added.
"I really think we'll achieve something special if we finish fifth or sixth. Any higher than that would be astounding really but I think we've got a real chance.
"The Champions League is something that really we shouldn't be competing for, but we are, and we are going to go for that as best we can.
"We are batting well above our level in terms of the teams and the salaries and transfer fees that these other clubs have paid. We shouldn't even be anywhere near them but a couple of the other sides have got a bit edgy. We haven't shown any signs of that – and hopefully we won't.
"What I do know is this European qualification is about as complicated as it gets. We need Carol Vorderman to work it out."