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Take Sneijder, Oezil & Villa and mix with Forlan, Lampard & Schweinsteiger - building the perfect player from World Cup 2010
Analysing the best attributes of the finest footballers in South Africa...
By Steven Saunders
Of course, we will never know - but it's fun to consider which part of which players from this year's World Cup would be selected. Here is Goal.com UK's Frankenstein monster...
Head
Diego Forlan
Uruguay
The Golden Ball winner had to feature somewhere in this, and it is for his football brain as much as his heading ability that he comes in here.
The way in which he led Uruguay to their first World Cup semi-final since 1970 spoke volumes for the smarts he has; witness, for example the sumptuous volley against Germany in the 3rd/4th place play-off, where he thumped the ball off the slick turf so that it whistled into the net.
His movement and leadership were up there with the best throughout the tournament.
Eyes
Mesut Oezil
Germany
Germany played perhaps the slickest football of all the teams in South Africa, and that includes the pass masters of champions Spain.
The German counter-attacks against England and Argentina were executed at breakneck speed, and the picking apart of Australia and Ghana in the group stage required a different tactic entirely.
At the centre of it all was the 21-year-old Oezil, who announced himself to the world as a player with real vision.
Nose
David Villa
Spain
Spain only scored eight goals on their way to lifting the trophy, but five of those came from Villa, who displayed a fine habit for being able to sniff out where to be and when.
He scooped home the winner against Portugal in the last 16, then pounced on a rebound against Paraguay in the quarters.
And his opening goal of the tournament, a mazy run and shot against Honduras, showed that Barcelona have got a goalscorer supreme for £34m.
Mouth
Frank Lampard
England
England were forced into damage limitation mode after John Terry had launched his broadside at Fabio Capello ahead of the must-win group game against Slovenia.
Step forward Frank Lampard, who didn’t put a foot wrong in the first press conference after Terry’s star turn.
Not an easy job either, somehow treading between making a fool of his club captain, showing up his national team manager and stepping on the toes of England skipper Steven Gerrard. Diplomatic yet entertaining, frank Frank steered the ship away from the rocks.
Heart
Asamoah Gyan
Ghana
Ghana became the adopted team for all of Africa as the continent’s lone representatives in the knockout phase, and nobody shone more for the Black Stars in the tournament than Asamoah Gyan.
He scored a late penalty against Serbia in the opening group match, was on target from the spot again versus Australia, then struck a sweet winner in extra-time against the United States in the last 16.
It seemed fitting then that he should have the chance to fire his side into the semi-finals with a last-minute penalty against Uruguay, but his fierce strike cracked off the bar.
It was the last kick of the game, and so brought a penalty shootout – and who should step up first of all but Gyan. His nerveless conversion had many complimenting a different part of his anatomy, but we’ll settle for his heart.
Hands
Luis Suarez
Uruguay
And so to the man who set Gyan’s nightmare in motion. Suarez was in the right place at the right time to paddle the ball off the line as time expired in the Ghana-Uruguay match.
The debate raged as to whether he was a hero or a villain, but Suarez was unrepentant.
“The Hand of God now belongs to me,” he said later. “I made the best save of the tournament.” At least somebody knew how to handle the Jabulani.
Lungs
Bastian Schweinsteiger
Germany
There were fears before the World Cup began that Germany would falter without the injured Michael Ballack, but the doubters hadn’t reckoned on Schweinsteiger’s motor driving a young team beyond expectations.
A stand-out throughout the Germans’ run to the last four, Schweinsteiger’s best moment was a superb run and low cross for Arne Friedrich to tap in No.3 against Argentina in the quarter-final.
Schweinsteiger covered a total distance of 79.80km during the tournament, second only to Spain’s Xavi, who had 15 minutes more to cover the extra 400m that he did.
Legs
Javier Hernandez
Mexico
At the beginning of June, Hernandez marked his 22nd birthday with a work permit and confirmation that he would be a Manchester United player as of the coming season.
His performances at the World Cup showed why Sir Alex Ferguson was so keen to sign him, his quick feet bringing goals against France and Argentina.
In fact, quick is an understatement – Hernandez was the fastest player at the World Cup, hitting a top speed of 32.15km/h. His piston-like legs suggest he will be a hit in England.
Left foot
Giovanni van Bronckhorst
Netherlands
Not many get to bow out at the very top, but Van Bronckhorst helped ensure he would do just that with a sublime goal against Uruguay in the semi-final.
Fully 35 yards from goal, he unleashed an unstoppable shot high into the top corner for one of the goals of the tournament.
The 35-year-old retired after Sunday’s final against Spain, taking his wand of a left foot with him.
Right foot
Wesley Sneijder
Netherlands
Sneijder has seemingly been intent on showing the world why Real Madrid were wrong to let him go ever since last summer, and continued that quest in style in South Africa.
He prodded and probed at opponents from open play and set-pieces, and scored three goals with his right foot.
Just to prove he’s an all-rounder, he threw in a left-footer and a header to knock out favourites Brazil in the quarter-finals.
The Inter midfielder fell narrowly short of completing a unique quadruple of domestic league, cup, Champions League and World Cup in the same season, but was as responsible as anyone for coming so close.
Make Your Prediction Choose match
Brazil - Mexico
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Brazil 3-1 Mexico
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Brazil 3-0 Mexico
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