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The Premier League sure did return with a bang this weekend. Manchester United travel to West Brom on Monday night but that's it from this blog until matchday three of the Champions League. Be sure to check back right here from 16:00 BST on Tuesday for CSKA Moscow v Manchester City, Chelsea v Maribor and much more. Cheerio and see you then!
Before we head off, a nod in the direction of the big Serie A match taking place this evening. Rafael Benitez returns to San Siro as Napoli take on injury-hit Inter. It's currently goalless after 10 minutes and you can follow all the action with our LIVE play-by-play commentary...
LIVE: Inter 0-0 Napoli
The match was delayed by an hour due to a side panel on the scoreboard flapping in the wind (really), but Newcastle finally got their first win of the season following a second-half goal from the unlikely source of Gabriel Obertan. They remain in 18th while Leicester are yet to win since thumping five past Manchester United.
Report: Newcastle 1-0 Leicester
Are Everton back on track? It appears that way. Ross Barkley started for the first time this season on Saturday as the Toffees comfortably saw off Aston Villa and moved to within four points of a top-four place. Villa, despite their bright start, have scored just four goals all season. Yikes.
Report: Everton 3-0 Aston Villa
6 - Dusan Tadic is only the 6th player to assist four goals in a single PL game (+ Bergkamp, Reyes, Fabregas, Adebayor, & Cazorla). Mastery.— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) October 18, 2014
Sam Allardyce celebrated his 60th birthday weekend in style with a 3-1 win at Burnley which moves his new and improved West Ham up to 13 points and fourth place. As for the Clarets, they remain in 19th place thanks to QPR losing against Liverpool today.
Report: Burnley 1-3 West Ham
Chelsea had Cesar Azpilicueta sent off in the first half of their 2-1 win at Crystal Palace. Deserved red, no complaints. But referee Craig Pawson balanced out the numbers minutes later by giving Palace defender Damien Delaney a harsh second booking. Controversy aplenty.
Report: Crystal Palace 1-2 Chelsea
Just two wins from eight Premier League games leaves Arsenal in seventh place and trailing leaders Chelsea by a whopping 11 points. It could have been worse, too, had Danny Welbeck not scored a late equaliser. The Gunners simply haven’t been good enough so far this season...
Report: Arsenal 2-2 Hull
Who added Sergio Aguero to their fantasy team minutes before the deadline? Why thank you very much, Mr Aguero. The Argentine scored all four goals for Manchester City in a 4-1 win over a Tottenham side who had Premier League debutant Federico Fazio sent off.
Report: Manchester City 4-1 Tottenham
Sunderland, having conceded just seven goals in seven games before the match, were handed a beating of Gibraltan proportions by Southampton. To top it off, Santiago Vergini scored one of the most ludicrous own goals of all time and goalkeeper Vito Mannone had a shocker. Not good.
Report: Southampton 8 (eight) Sunderland 0
Righteo, time for a weekend recap. Here's a reminder of all the results from the Premier League...
Manchester City 4-1 Tottenham
Arsenal 2-2 Hull
Burnley 1-3 West Ham
Crystal Palace 1-2 Chelsea
Everton 3-0 Aston Villa
Southampton 8-0 Sunderland
Newcastle 1-0 Leicester
SUNDAYQPR 2-3 Liverpool
Stoke 2-1 Swansea
A certain Mr Own Goal must be pushing for the Golden Boot after his exploits from the feet of Messrs Vergini, Dunne and Caulker this weekend...
9 goals | Sergio Aguero (Manchester City)
9 goals | Diego Costa (Chelsea)
6 goals | Graziano Pelle (Southampton)
5 goals | Saido Berahino (West Brom)
5 goals | Diafra Sakho (West Ham)
5 goals | Leonardo Ulloa (Leicester)
Three defeats in a row for QPR leaves them rooted to the foot of the table after eight games. Here's how the form guide is shaping up...
Most wins: Chelsea (7), Man City, Southampton (5)
Most defeats: QPR (6), Aston Villa, Burnley, Palace (4)
Most goals scored: Chelsea (23), Southampton (19), Man City (18)
Least goals scored: Aston Villa, Burnley (4), QPR (6)
No disrespect to big Bobby Z, but if Liverpool can't deal with Bobby Zamora how are they going to contain Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale? Goal's Liam Twomey has raised that exact point. Check out what Mr Twomey had to say on the Reds' performance ahead of Wednesday's showdown with Real Madrid...
Liverpool edge mad finale but Madrid will smell blood
On Adel Taarabt: “He is not injured. He played in a reserve game the other day and I could have run about more than he did... I can't keep protecting people who don’t want to run about and train, and are about three stone overweight. What am I supposed to keep saying? Keep getting your 60, 70 grand a week and don't train? What's the game coming to?”
On Balotelli: "It’ll drop for the boy. The most important thing to me is his work rate. He’s working really hard. It’ll drop for him. He's seen as a direct replacement to Luis [Suarez]. I’ve said before, Luis is irreplaceable, a real world-class talent. That’s not what’s being asked of Mario. He’s a great boy, I’ve enjoyed working with him. He wants to be better. He’s a completely different player to Luis."
Rodgers defends woeful Balotelli
8:08 - There were eight minutes and eight seconds between QPR's first goal and Liverpool's winner earlier today. Heartbreak.— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) October 19, 2014
As finishes to matches go, this one was right up there with the best of them. QPR equalised with three minutes to play, then Liverpool went back in front in added time, then QPR scored another equaliser... aaaand then Liverpool scored AGAIN to make it 3-2. Quite remarkable. Ratings below.
Player Ratings: QPR 2-3 Liverpool
Angel Rangel - Struggled up against the pace of Moses, though was harshly penalised for a foul on the winger which led to Adam's equaliser. Poor pass led to the Stoke winner as he also stood off Assaidi in the build-up.
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