And here's how West Ham doubled their lead against Rubbish Reading, as described by Chris Davie:
"That's a fine finish from Ricardo Vaz Te to put West Ham two goals ahead. A long ball is pumped into the box which Andy Carroll brings down and lays off for Vaz Te and the winger drives the ball low into the corner past Alex McCarthy."
The DW Stadium, home of abominable defending:
"If anyone ever wondered why Wigan are going down Arouna Kone demonstrates it perfectly. The Ivorian robs Ron Vlaar on the half-way line leaving a three on one for Wigan, but his pass to James McCarthy is over hit and straight into the hands of Brad Guzan. You really should not be messing those chances up."
In Manchester, Carlos Tevez cuts inside from the left and flashes a delicious drive just wide of John Ruddy's right post! Tevez looks in the mood today. Elsewhere, a defensive mix-up from Yaya Toure and Micah Richards *almost* lets Norwich through - but they are saved by an overhit cross from Wes Hoolahan.
Charlie Scott has the following for us, from Up North:
"Yanga-Zidane? The Newcastle left-back has just treated St James Park to a series of slow motion stepovers on the left side of the Arsenal box, which eventually resulted in a corner for Alan Pardew's side."
Manchest United are loving this, and it seems like West Brom have showed up at the Hawthornes with their flip-flops on, deck chair under their arm. Here's our man in the Midlands:
"This is all too easy for Manchester United. Cleverley and Kagawa are pulling the string in midfield and the former spots Buttner's run down the left to slide an inch-perfect pass into his path for the left-back to slot behind Foster. Three goals to the good with half an hour played."
Greg Stobart gives us this from White Hart Lane:
"Sunderland have done nothing all game but nearly stun Tottenham with a counter-attack. Danny Graham breaks down the right squares for Connor Wickham, but Spurs goalkeeper Hugo Lloris stays big to keep out the striker’s shot."
Big-ish news from St James', as Mikel Arteta, who was touch and go to be fit for today's game, has limped off to be replaced by Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.
It was a risk for Arsene Wenger to start Mikel Arteta today after the Spaniard strained his calf against Wigan on Tuesday, and it is a risk that has not paid off. The former Everton midfielder has been forced off through injury shortly before the half-hour mark. Goal revealed yesterday that Arteta received injections to mask the pain ahead of today's match, but they were clearly not enough to enable him to complete the game.
And here's how West Ham-elona got their goal:
Not the greatest way to mark your first England call-up. Alex McCarthy smashes his clearance against Andy Carroll and the ball falls into the path of Kevin Nolan, who rounds the Reading goalkeeper and slots the ball into an empty net. West Ham have been gifted this lead.
That Liverpool opener:
A superbly taken goal from Philipe Coutinho, who is rounding off a very good first (half) season at Liverpool. Also a key figure in this goal was the Brazilian’s fellow midfielder Jordon Ibe, the 17-year-old taking on QPR’s defenders confidently, before laying up his teammate to score from about 30 yards out.
There's more where that came from, mark my words.
Manchester United have been utterly dominant in the opening 20 minutes at the Hawthorns. West Brom are struggling to string more than a couple of passes together. The champions look to be putting on a show for the retiring Sir Alex Ferguson.
Meanwhile, in Mancunia...
NORWICH CHANCE! Joloan Lescott clears a header off the line for Manchester City! The chance comes as the visitors begin to crank up the pressure. The hosts look to hit them on the break but are stopped after a cheeky handball from Athony Pilkington. City look as they they aren't too interested here today, but with the quality of Carlos Tevez and Yaya Toure, they'll probably be a goal up before I can say Pot Noodle.... It almost worked. Edin Dzeko shoots into John Ruddy's palms.
Absolute fury among the Tottenham fans as Gareth Bale goes down in the penalty area under a clumsy challenge from Sebastian Larsson. Referee Andre Marriner is miles away and makes a bizarre decision to wave away the penalty appeals and book Bale for diving. It wasn’t a dive.
Schadenfreude fans across the country will be cackling themselves into a minor coma at the moment, as Gareth Bale is booked for having the temerity to submit to the laws of gravity after being clearly fouled inside the penalty box. No pen.
Up at St James', Newcastle's Jonas Gutierrez has taken a knock in the reproductive organs, and is in some serious pain. Scott Dann, who spent six weeks of last season on the sidelines with a ruptured testicle, will feel his pain.